Please help, I'm terrified :(

[jasminemarie]

If anyone could please help me or give me some reassurance or just anything, I would be so grateful - I'm worrying so much, I feel I am making myself ill

So I am usually very much on the edge at all times re the phobia and getting s*. I went away camping this weekend with friends which was a big step for me and got so worried when I returned on Sunday evening because I had somehow convinced myself that I would get s* in the days following my weekend away. It is now Wednesday and nothing has happened yet but today at work I think that has changed it for me.

I have posted previously about my job which is working with nursery children - I go to different nurseries in the surrounding areas of where I live and provide short fitness/exercise classes. Today, one of the nurseries I went into had a sign on the door - "15 confirmed cases of s*/d* - of course I immediately freaked but I had to carry on and walk right in there which was SO SO hard. My curiosity got the better of me and I asked the staff about it and they said that more adults than children had been affected (this was my first cause for panic because it means I am automatically more susceptible to it). Then they told me that just previous to me arriving, one of the staff in the room I was teaching in had just v* and been sent home (panic overdrive no.2). I then go upstairs to teach the 2nd class, using hand sanitiser inbetween (it is not a branded one so not sure on how effective it is) and at the end of the class, they mention that the bug has now spread to this room too (via siblings etc) and that they were to be extra vigilant with anti bacteria spray/disinfecting etc. But they were told to do this just as I was leaving so perhaps their cleaning of surfaces etc had been lacking.

Since this morning when this happened, I have been terrified. My stomach has been playing up feeling sort of acidic and just nervous I guess? and I am trying to convince myself that that is all it is - a nervous tummy. But what if it isn't? I know it would be too early to contract anything but what if I am already getting s* from something else? And what if I do get it - how long will it be before I notice symptoms?

When I got home after teaching, I washed my hands thoroughly several times and disinfected props and equipment that I had been using and that the children may have touched or had been on the floor. Someone please help me, I am at a complete loss. I feel also that I will get s* as a punishment particularly as I have plans for this Saturday - I have previously struggled with depression and sometimes these two things link in my mind. If anyone could please offer any support, I would be so grateful. xx

[whitenoisetherapy]

If anyone could please help me or give me some reassurance or just anything, I would be so grateful - I'm worrying so much, I feel I am making myself ill

So I am usually very much on the edge at all times re the phobia and getting s*. I went away camping this weekend with friends which was a big step for me and got so worried when I returned on Sunday evening because I had somehow convinced myself that I would get s* in the days following my weekend away. It is now Wednesday and nothing has happened yet but today at work I think that has changed it for me.

I have posted previously about my job which is working with nursery children - I go to different nurseries in the surrounding areas of where I live and provide short fitness/exercise classes. Today, one of the nurseries I went into had a sign on the door - "15 confirmed cases of s*/d* - of course I immediately freaked but I had to carry on and walk right in there which was SO SO hard. My curiosity got the better of me and I asked the staff about it and they said that more adults than children had been affected (this was my first cause for panic because it means I am automatically more susceptible to it). Then they told me that just previous to me arriving, one of the staff in the room I was teaching in had just v* and been sent home (panic overdrive no.2). I then go upstairs to teach the 2nd class, using hand sanitiser inbetween (it is not a branded one so not sure on how effective it is) and at the end of the class, they mention that the bug has now spread to this room too (via siblings etc) and that they were to be extra vigilant with anti bacteria spray/disinfecting etc. But they were told to do this just as I was leaving so perhaps their cleaning of surfaces etc had been lacking.

Since this morning when this happened, I have been terrified. My stomach has been playing up feeling sort of acidic and just nervous I guess? and I am trying to convince myself that that is all it is - a nervous tummy. But what if it isn't? I know it would be too early to contract anything but what if I am already getting s* from something else? And what if I do get it - how long will it be before I notice symptoms?

When I got home after teaching, I washed my hands thoroughly several times and disinfected props and equipment that I had been using and that the children may have touched or had been on the floor. Someone please help me, I am at a complete loss. I feel also that I will get s* as a punishment particularly as I have plans for this Saturday - I have previously struggled with depression and sometimes these two things link in my mind. If anyone could please offer any support, I would be so grateful. xx

My two best friends are in the Early Childhood Development program at my high school and even their stories can send me into a spiraling panic attack. I don't know if you'll see this message soon or not but reassuring yourself that you ARE freaking yourself out about it can be helpful. Yes, It's possible that you catch something from the kids but it's unlikely as long as you take care of your hygiene and keep up a good immune system. Emetophobia is not a punishment, it's not a higher power showing you deserve suffering. It's your mind's own screwed up system of protecting itself by making you suffer symptoms close to being s* when you really aren't! You're mind is a powerful thing. Repeat to yourself "I'm overreacting, I'm just having a panic attack. I am going to have fun on Saturday however I am not REQUIRED to go if I feel too overwhelmed.

Also I would just like to mention that your co-workers will attempt to meet your needs (even if they don't fully understand) as long as you make them AWARE of the problem. You're still a caring and genuine person, you are still you. You are not your emetophobia, so fight it. Anyway I really hope that you read this and that it helps. Message me if you want more re-assurance or just want to talk as a distraction
Be strong!

[jasminemarie]

Thankyou for your reply, I feel a little calmer now after a huge panic attack I had earlier. I also picked up some anti-emets as I had some stomach discomfort which I thought was me getting ill. What do you think the likelihood of me getting ill is? If it is the staff who are contracting the bug more than the children? I'm so scared perhaps talking via email or somethign would help?? I just don't know x

[whitenoisetherapy]

I can't tell you what the likelihood of you getting sick is but I can tell you that the more you talk yourself into it, the more likely you will. Distract yourself with cleaning, or a tv show and remember that you don't have to feel scared. Even your worst thoughts about your fear aren't true.