It doesn't makes sense

[Errol]

There is something that is bothering me, which doesn't seem to make sense.
Most people with this phobia very rarely if at all v* for years and years. I have heard that those with the phobia can sometimes be 'cured' if they do v* and they realise it isn't as bad as they thought it would be so the fear is no longer there.

But I think I'm a freak. Even in this I'm a freak of nature. I can't have it normal like other people. In fact I seem to regularly get poorly compared to most I have read about and instead of it getting easier, it only gets harder. Its like every time I v* or I see it then it sticks in my mind and it pushes me back to the ground again. I build myself up and something hits me again. For some reason it 'is' as bad as I always imagine it to be and I'm still terrified and knowing that it 'will' happened again, especially having a young child, feels like it's killing me inside and I'm too tired to keep building my self up only to be torn back down again.

[artoo16]

Some people have been cured by getting sick and realizing it's not the end of the world, but others are like you...and me. My phobia tripled this year after getting noro on an airplane, I was an absolute mess after getting it, and it took 3 months before I could be on my own without distractions, could eat normally, and just function on a basic level. It is really hard, and with children it is worse.

But, just because you have children around doesn't mean you will get it. Stay clean, teach them to be clean, children v* for all sorts of reasons, doesn't mean it's something you can catch. Hang in there, take each day as it comes, if you try to think about what could be coming, you will overwhelm yourself. Just deal with the present. You can make it, and you have this site for support!

[sunnyskies]

I like to think that actually v* would cure me of the phobia because I think that's what temporarily did get me over the fear many years ago. The last time I was really sick (like 9 years ago, and the last time I v* at all) really sucked but I didn't fear it for a long time.

Then just as of the last two years it has returned and on one hand, I know I survived it that time and did get over it. But this time I think that way and then if there's even the most remote chance I think it will happen, I shut down and pretty much refuse to let myself believe that or let *it* happen.

It's a vicious cycle.

[Errol]

Thank you for your reply, I think I needed to know that the are other people out their that suffer similarly to me. Also thank you for the advice, I do have a habit of dwelling on the what Ifs and I should be trying harder to live in the ow, if not for me then for my little girl. Your reply helped me, thank you again and its nice to meet you

[Errol]

Thank you for your reply, I also shut down,as soon as there is a risk to me or mine. I've lots lots of supposed friends doing just that