How to talk to people about your emet?

[nbutcher97]

So I've had emetophobia for as long as I can remember, and most of my closest friends and both my parents know about it, but I'm not sure how they think about it. One of my friends once said 'No, Naomi isn't actually more scared of throwing up than anyone else, she's just found a word for it.' She, and I'm sure other people, don't get that it's this all consuming, terrifying, constantly present fear in the back (and normally the front) of my mind.


Does anyone have any tips on how to explain to people who don't get it just how severe emetophobia can be? Because I am particularly sensitive to others throwing up and I physically can't stop myself from bolting out of the room if someone looks like or says they are going to v*, and I don't want people to think I'm a wimp or judge me for something I can't help and don't have the slightest idea about how to deal with myself anyway.

[AlyAmiee]

Hey hun, sorry i don'y have any advice for you but i just thought i'd offer a hug! *hugs*
I'm 18 and i've only just started to tell people about my phobia, and it's soo hard to make them understand that I just give up! It's always the same reply "nobody likes throwing up" yes but i'm TERRIFIED! grrr it's so annoying!
If you ever want a chat then i'm here xx

[wanted]

I don't tell people od this phobia cause they don't understand. My best friends don't know about it :/

[Murder-my-soul]

I have only told my mom. She didn't get it at first. I had to explain how it ruined my life, how I think about it constantly, and she has been arounhd my panic attacks, she knows how crippling it is for me.

I think you should tell your friends that this isn't just a normal fear. You are terrified of it and it's not something to take lightly. Tell them how you feel about them saying that.

Most people wont understand it. They don't deal with phobias. I actually have a phobia of spiders as well and I saw 3 in my room the other night and screamed bloody murder and I had to have my friend come over and kill them. Haha it's not something on my mind every second but I have to shake all my clothing out and shoes out and such to ease my mind to make sure there is no spiders in them!

I am in counseling. It took me awhile to find a counselor that had dealt with phobias like mine. I finally found one and she is just an angel. She makes me feel so comfortable. Her other client that she had was TERRIFIED of door knobs. Like we are of v*. And door knobs are literally everywhere. And she got him over the fear. Yes it was a boy who had the fear and now he doesn't. She has been helping me as well. I feel hopeful. I do have setbacks but they are short and quick to pass. I told you this because I think you should start looking into that. If you get the right one, it's great. I have my counselors number and know I can call her whenever if need be. I haven't had to do that yet.

[smg0615]

It was hard for me to start telling my friends about my phobia. I tried my best to stay calm when telling them, so that they wouldn't think I was some kind of weirdo (none of them have severe anxiety/phobias like mine) but I still tried to help them understand that it is a serious phobia and is definitely not to be made fun of.
It's always easier to understand these things if the situation is relatable or common. I know some emets who refer to their phobia as a form of PTSD.

Some people will react better than others, but dealing with these situations truly tests your friendships, and I know with me it actually helped me to determine which friends really cared about me.

A few months ago, I was at my best friend's track meet, and he v*. I didn't see it, I just heard about it, so I tried my best to remain calm. When I saw him 10 minutes later, he could tell I was still jumpy and trying to cover my anxiety and he thought it would be funny to fake v* (ugh teenage boys!) At first, I wanted to scream at him, but I took this as an opportunity to explain that my phobia is something serious (just like you're not supposed to surprise someone with PTSD). He could tell that I was pretty upset, apologized a gazillion times, and has never done something like that since then. Sometimes, your friends need to see how you react in the moment to "get" how strongly it affects you.

Good luck!

[skdenn]

I'm sorry for those of you whose families and friends don't "get it". My family understands my phobia, but they get tired of hearing about it. People have said to me, "Nobody likes throwing up!" Well, that's not exactly true. There are some people who actually like vomiting. They're called emetophiles. I've seen a couple of them on Jerry Springer. One of them would walk up to girls on the street and put his arm around them if they didn't feel well, hoping they would throw up on him! I know Jerry Springer is a really trashy show. I'm sorry if I offended anybody by talking about this.

Susan

[Erica1649]

I'm just flat out about it. I think most people who know me (who I hang out with and work with) know I have this phobia...and most people are respectable about it...I do have a friend who jokes with me sometimes, but I know he's messing around so its ok...I never get mocked about it.

I guess this phobia makes me who I am to an extent. I don't want to say I'm necessarily "proud" of it, but I'm comfortable being me and being open about it if it makes sense. I'm not embarrased to talk about it.

[emmabelle]

i recently told two friends at once about it and they kind of just looked at each other, not really knowing what to say. i could tell they really didn't understand and that was hurtful for me to see. one of them kinda laughed and made a joke or something and the other one just sat there in silence. it sucked, and i regretted it, blaming myself for maybe not explaining it right. i also told my best friend just recently and she didn't really get it either. she made a joke too, saying i could 'never be a big drinker', and then changed the subject. i wasn't trying to make people feel uncomfortable, just to share my phobia with them! the moral of my story is that unfortunately a lot of people just won't understand. i once watched a show where a woman had a phobia of peaches and ran out of the room when someone bought in a basket of peaches and laughed at it, because i didn't understand, and i have terrible emetophobia, so i should have!

[mightyquinn]

I don't have any problems telling people about it.. I'm 35 and happy with who I am..emet and all. So I'm not embarresed about it one bit. People may not understand and I tell them ... you don't have to understand just be respectful about it. I explain that some people are dealthy afraid of heights, flying, well I'm dealthy afraid of V no biggie.

[RuthKnoll]

thanks for such interesting points

[JessicaVictoria]

When i was trying to explain to my boyfriend, i described it like a person with a phobia of spiders being locked in a room with 100 of them and never being able to escape from it, but in my case the spiders are the same as being sick. I have also only just began to tell people about my phobia, even though i have had it for over 10 years. I've suddenly realised that it is nothing to be ashamed of and i feel better being able to talk to my friends and family about it!