I'm new and I'm freaking out already...

[Crazy-foreverxXx]

Hey
I'm a 16 year old girl from England (nearly 17 my birthday is on Tuesday) and I've suffered from emetophobia for years. I know it started from various people being sick; I can still remember vividly from years ago my Dad, sister, cousin being sick. Especially my sister she seems to catch every bug around.

I have the typical emetophobia symptoms but I also have anxiety and panic attacks when I'm out in public especially (self-diagnosed but I match the symptoms.) My parents know I hate everything to do with sick but they don't seriously believe it's as bad as I tell them. For example my Dad just says its all in my head.

I've been looking around here and decided to join up because I'm starting college on Monday and I'm scared. (Just looking on here now was prompted by my psychology homework about stress and immune levels which naturally I worried about.)

Already my stomach is growling really loudly like it does when I'm nervous. It's a 2 and a half hour journey there every morning and then again on the way back. I'm constantly on edge that I'm going to be sick (even though I haven't been sick for years) or someone else around me is.
I'm okay when I'm at home it's not so bad but whenever I'm around a lot of people it's really bad. I get panicky, have troubles breathing etc. It's gotten so bad lately that I even stopped eating as much as usual so in case I was sick I wouldn't have as much to throw up. My Mum sort of guessed what I was doing though (although she didn't believe it really) and I've started eating everything again as usual despite worrying about being sick. In public I find it hard to eat, especially at lunch I freak out so much at the possibility of eating and being sick the smell of food makes me nauseous even though I know I'm hungry. I think I have a touch of agrophobia because of this?

So I'm really scared of starting college because despite all the usual anxiety I get over starting a new place etc I'm worrying about being sick as well.

I've had this phobia for years and I'm really (pardon the pun) sick of it. I went to the Doctors once with my Mum and talked about getting a psychiatrist (this was when I was feeling depressed. I still do feel low sometimes although it's not as bad) but when my Mum rang up she didn't book an appointment because apparently the receptionist was snotty. Well now Mum says I have to make a Doctors appointment by myself if I think it's that bad and I know it sounds stupid but I don't want the Doctor to know, I know they won't but I have a fear they'll just think I'm stupid. I've read about some 'cures' where they make you look at vomit or something which has put me off.

I'm sorry it's such a long post but I've told nobody about all of this for years and I needed to tell someone who understands and doesn't think I'm being ridiculous like my family.

Does anyone have any tips and/or advice to help me survive the next two years of college without being miserable and paranoid and full of anxiety like I have been through secondary school?
It would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,

Paula
xXx

[wanted]

I'm 17 so I know how you feel about the school. I have 2 years more till the faculty but I'm worried how would it be.
We usually move to the city where we are going to faculty, mine is 2 hours away from where I live now. I don't know how it's like in the UK.
I can't imagine how it's like to travel 2 and a half hours two times a day, it's a horror for us emets!
I think it would be good for you to go to doctor..I'm planning to do that too when I'll be in faculty. I hope I will find someone who will understand me and my fear, although I'm sceptic.