Need to rant!

[Tolduiwasill]

Hi guys. im fed up. I think im better and then all of a sudden it smacks me in the face. Hard. im ok for days (i used to be much worse) and then i eat something im not sure of and wham!!! I am confined to my chair
i HATE HATE HATE it. ive only gota think too much about a sandwich and my afternoon is ruined. i was supposed to be on a night out with the ladies but it got cancelled, ive got a lot going on in my life at the mo, my first mortgage goin thru, my job is hard and theres countless other things stressing me. this phobia is evil, its so bad i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. im tired of it, it has ruined me and im not who i used to be, im boring, i have to think twice about going somewhere, dont ask me how i get to work five days a week. I do lead a normal life in the sense that i do what everyone else does like go to work, drive, go out, eat in restaraunts, have the odd take away, and ive found thats the only way to start getting bk to normal. but then i keep get these out breaks that make me so angry, when the anger subsides, i just cry, and i cant even get a nice can of alcohol out the fridge to relax, why? Because im scared of it. yes another thing i enjoyed once upon a time,ruined because of me. And although im causing it, im trapped. Why???!! What did i do?!

[EmmySiri]

I feel like this sometimes, I get extremely irritated with myself for letting this phobia control what I do.
At the moment I'm at university, sharing a house with five other people and I don't have an en suite bathroom. I won't even begin to explain how I managed to talk myself into living away from home in the first place, haha. But the pressure is on to go out drinking and partying and just being able to DO things other normal human beings do. It's so hard and extremely annoying when I feel that nausea, and I spend hours trying to figure out the cause of it, when I should be enjoying my life.
The only thing that has ever consistently helped me, especially when feeling anxious, irritated and my emet is in full swing, is to buy a small vial of lavender oil (the type they use for aromatherapy), and add a few drops to you bath.
also, I add a few drops to a tissue when I feel anxious at night and leave it on my bedside table so I can smell it during the night. I find I sleep better and my anxiety is immediately lessened.
I know a few people don't like the smell of Lavender, but I think the trick is to find a scent that you can condition yourself to associate with calm, tranquil feelings, and keep it about your person for emergancies. It doesn't always work, but I feel it is my lifeline when I go away from home or on holiday.

I truly hope you can find some peace soon, or at least a way of coping when things get this bad again xxx