self-healing?

[oda_elmira]

Hi, Im a 24 year old girl who has had this phobia since I Was seven and I still have it, but my phobia has gotten alot better over the past two years, even though I never tried therapy. I have spent alot of time trying to sort things out, reading, thinking and understanding what is going on. Here are some facts and questions that might be helpfull for you if you really give it a try. I will try to make it short, but if any of you want to hear more about this you can email me at this address: [email protected]

1. A therapist can not solve your problem. He can only help you to solve it yourself. It's important to realize that you got nothing but yourself after all. Therefore, shouldn't you start to treat yourself a little better?

2. The human beeing chooses everything he/she does. The reason why you have this phobia is actually because you choose to have it. But why? Obviously because a part of your brain believes that your life would be worse without it. But why does it think so? This must be a terrible missunderstanding, and it would be a tragedy if you should live the rest of your life with this missunderstanding. You have to tell your brain that it is wrong, but how? You try to come in contact with it, but it won't talk to you cause it's too scared that you may take its phobia away. This is where the therapist comes in. The therapist works as a diplomat between two parts who wont communicate. But maybe you can try it yourself?

3. What are you actually afraid of? Are you afraid of vomiting or are you afraid of beeing afraid of it? You can't prevent vomiting, but you can prevent beeing afraid, even if it feels like you can't. The reason why you think you can't control your fear is because you don't understand that you can. When you get scared, you actually choose to get scared.

4. The reason why you just can't stop to worry about vomiting is because you don't dare, not because you don't can. But maybe you dare to let your phobia go for 30 seconds? Or one minute? Try it when you feel sick and nervous.

5. Close your eyes and picture yourself vomiting. The smell, the taste, the feeling, the sound, everything. It's terrible, but is it real? If it really was this bad, wouldn't the whole population be afraid of it?

6. Do you see this phobia as a part of your personallity? It is not. Do you see it as your friend or a part of you? It is not, it is your enemy. Vomiting is your friend, it throws bad stuff out of your body, but this phobia is not. You probably see vomiting as your enemy and the phobia as your friend, but it should be the opposite.

7. Do other people control your life? Do you do stuff you don't like just to fit in? Do you feel you're doing other people a favour by having this phobia? Are you afraid of telling people when they do (or make you do) something you don't want? Do you feel you have no right to make choices for other people, but they still make choices for you?

8. You can be your own best friend, and you can't make a better friend than that.

[shiva]

That was great.. I really appreciate everything that you posted. It has taken me quite some time, but I think that I am finally getting to the point where all of what you just said makes so much sense to me.


The funny thing is, there would have been a time that I would have read that and gotten defensive. It is very strange the behaviors and thoughts that we carry in order to protect this phobia.

[rpeni07]

Thanks for the kind advise! There is a lot of good, rational tips there.

However, my problem lies that no matter how rational I understand the
fear, all logic dissipates when I feel I am close to V*******. Like no matter
how much I try to belittle the phobia, it is still there. So I am working on it
and I hope I can keep your tips in mind as they are valuable to healthy
living.

Peace everyone.

[rachelle]

I couldnt have said it better myself. Truly wonderful advice.

[willow2]

I LOVE this advice!! I really wish I was more in control and could sort myself out. I want to be able to solvethis for myself cos I almost feel like I would benefit more from it and it is the only way to properly cure it.


oda_elmira - did you really just think and try and rationalise yourself through your fear? how do you/did you deal with it when you really did feel ill and were properly in throws of panic? did you suffer from fear in public etc and are you comfortbale now?


I am so happy for you that you have helped yourself and made such progress I really hope I can do the same thing - you are an inspiration!