I have a cousin whom I am very fond of who has decided to forgo conventional medicine and treat her cancer with an alternative therapy that has a 0% percent survival rate over the 5 year period even though the cancer she has is entirely curable with surgery alone. I know her suffering will include a great deal of pain and naturally, a lot of v. I have found it very hard to spend time with cancer patients due to the chemotherapy v and other reasons. I want to spend time with her because I know she won't be here this time next year, but it is very hard for a variety of reasons not just this one.

I am so sorry about your dad. I hope he is taking the steps necessary to improve his health.

Seeing someone you care deeply about v while near death or dying is very tramumatic. I know why I fear v. I just don't know what to do about it. I conquered my fear of heights by forcing myself to go to high places where I was uncomfortable. But I don't know what to do about this. I don't want to get a v cleaning job to get better. Besides, I have cats and kids if cleaning it was going to do it for me, it would have. I don't fear my v that much, but other people's scares me nearly senseless. My daughter v*ed for six months straight (like this child all the time). It was a total nightmare. I dealt with it, but it was hard and I was scared at any time I would freak out and not be able to handle it.