Spiralling downwards :( so scared, please help!

[jasminemarie]

I am in such a state of panic I can not think straight, everything is freaking me out and I cannot do anything or make the simplest of decisions.
I posted the other day about university and my struggles there and was so looking forward to coming back home for a week where hopefully I would feel a bit safer... but over the past week, both at university and now at home, it is getting really bad again! the phobia, the constant worry, the anxiety (both phobic and general) and I just know that if this carries on, its going to spiral back down into depression again.

I'm scared to eat and have taken some domperidone but I still feel nauseous but it feels mainly like it is in my throat. But there is discomfort in my stomach, it just doesn't feel right. Oh my, I am so scared. :'( I felt a bit off yesterday early evening too but was still eating and then felt better and ate quite a lot of sweets in the evening. I then went to bed with this odd taste when I swallowed and woke up with it this morning too :s Then I started panicking and didn't want to eat and that's when I started noticing the stomach uneasiness and the nausea. It does slightly feel like I need to burp but I'm too scared to even do that.

My grandad is just about to come round but at times like this, I can't bear to be "fine" around everyone and in a way, I feel like I need to be alone but if it were to happen, I would want someone hear - probably only my mum I would want. She is at work and not contactable and I know she feels like she has run out of things to say and ways to reassure me.

Things are getting so bad for me at the moment that for example trying to get dressed proved so hard. I was thinking "if I'm wearing this, is this something someone feeling ill might wear?" And I couldn't co-ordinate clothes or even concentrate on putting makeup on properly. I have already had a panic attack this morning but at the moment I am just borderline heightened fear and panic and I am petrified. I don't want it to happen :'(

The taste is back and my stomach feels twingy and uncomfortable and a bit acidy/churning feeling. Please help I feel like I would rather lose an arm than have this happen :'( x

[jasminemarie]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. I am feeling a little better but still very worried and my stomach still feels very bloated and uncomfortable. It feels a little like there is a balloon inflating in my stomach and there is an odd twinge of pain but no gurgling like there might be if it was d* or something. I managed to eat some food and didn't v* so I'm guessing that's a good sign. I took another domperidone and am wearing those bands which have helped a little also. I am still not convinced this is the end of it though Could this be just acid reflux type of thing? Or what else could it be? I feel like I have had quite a bit of exposure over the last week or so, or its been more on my mind lately which is definitely making the anxiety worse.

Even as I'm typing this now (sorry for probably too much info) I can feel the start of an urge for a bm* but my stomach was kind of making a funny sensation at the same time which worried me that it might be loose. My stomach does feel really tight and uncomfortable. Occasionally, I do get a little burning sensation which quickly goes. This just feels so horrible

I'm trying to do some of my university work to distract me but its not really helping. My mum is home now but when I told her, she doesn't offer reassurance just because she has heard it so many times before I think she just believes its worry all the time. Sort of like "the little boy cried wolf" story, but its not like that for me. I am genuinely terrified every time, and this time it feels even more so. Although maybe I say that every time - I don't know anymore

I really cannot handle much more of this phobia, I just want to be rid of it!

[jasminemarie]

Please help my stomach is becoming more of an issue, there's more gurgling like I. Might have d* sometime soon. Does this mean there's something wrong. Can't shift this panic either so don't know what is what anymore I do suffer from occasional ibs symptoms bu please I don't know what to do

[kam00096]

Hey it sounds like acid and not eating enough to me. If it was a bug you wouldn't be feeling sort of off, you'd know all about it and you wouldn't be able to face eating anything at all. I know when I have a panic, it sets off my IBS which gives me dia and nausea but it's purely from panicking! Hope you feel better soon x

[angel13]

Jasmine, how are you doing today? I have to completely agree with kam00096 up there - whenever I'm anxious and panicky, it triggers my IBS and gives me those EXACT symptoms. At the time it's hard to convince yourself that it's just that, but trust me, you'll be absolutely fine I've even had that weird taste in my mouth thing too, and I know it doesn't help, but it's nothing to worry about at all. Something little like that is all it takes to get the anxiety ball rolling, it's true!

The best thing you can do is to take your mind off it all, and slowly but surely your stomach will settle down and you'll be back to normal watch one of your favourite movies, or have a look at some funny websites, or send an email to an old friend. Listen to some songs you're currently into. All just normal things to bring you back down to earth. Let us know how you go, I bet anything you'll be okay today

[jasminemarie]

Hello,
thanks for all your reassuring replies. I didn't realise that panic could trigger ibs symptoms but of course it makes sense because my ibs only started once I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I have been a lot more panicky since and less of an appetite than usual but much calmer than the other day. I even managed to go out last! We got a subway which is my latest worry because while I've never had a bad experience from there, I have heard stories of people who have :s I had chicken tikka which was dry and cold as in pre cooked and probably processed. Had it with some salad etc, how safe is subway usually? I live in the uk.