Day from Hell, please help

[moonshadow]

Please help me, I'm having the day from hell... My mum woke up sick and she's been v*g all morning. I don't THINK it's bug because it's something that happens to her quite often - like 3 times in the last 5 months. She used to get dreadful migraine and I suspect she's still getting the sickness without the headache but hell, I'm not a doctor so only guessing.


She lives with my hub and me, and her bathroom is next to my bedroom so I wake up to hear it and my heart sinks... last 2 times she was v*g for 12 hours straight. I get so worried about her. She never seems scared, just exhausted and fed up (who wouldn't be). She's always thrown up a lot so I probly shouldn't be overreacting. She's said no need to call the doc but I will if she's no better later... I am really at the end of my tether with this happening. And she's 81 so I'm aware of the dehydration problem.


I can't bear to listen to it, I can't bear her to be lying there suffering, I feel so hopeless and helpless anda completely crap nurse. I'm feeling low anyway because last week a friend of mine died of cancer ... so I'm sitting there writing a condolence card to her husband and hearing the horrible noises upstairs ... I just really cannot deal with this today. I try to be calm and capable in front ofmum cos it won't help her if I'm falling apart - but I hate this, I HATE it.


I feel so selfish and so rubbish at this.I want the day to be over, I just want to run away. I don't want to spend the next two weeks waking up with anxiety attacks at4 in the morning in case she's ill yet again! It's so hard to get her to the doc and even if she goes, I doubt they'll get to the bottom of what's causing it.


I'm so sorry to rant, but thanks for listening.

[x hannah x]

I'm sorry you're having a bad day, and about your friend. But I think you're dealing with it quite well, I'd be hiding in the car by now. My great auntie gets angina attacksand that sometimes makes her v* so maybe that could be it? Hope you both feel happier soon.

[terified girl]

My mother also 2 years ago v*ed alot during that year, but for her it was her diabetes and her meds, I know its a horrible sound to hear, so maybe you could keep a walkman on your night table so like that if it should happen again during the night, you can put your music on right away, something soothing, and try to fall back to sleep right away, and plus you know that why she is sick has nothing to do with a virus or anything, so if it's just the sound, then you should be fine. And don't try to think that it will happen every morning!

[alliecat]

Hey... I work at a convalescent hospital and it is SO important that you know that people of that age (you said your mother is 81) run many other risks when and if they have problems with vomiting, and it extends beyond dehydration. Elderly people are way more sensitive to illnessand such. They are like babies.Your mom shouldn't be vomiting that much, especially if you know its not from a bug or food. She should definitely see a doctor for this. Its very important to rule out other things before dismissing it as migraine. Okay? Even if she insists that she's okay. At least talk to a doctor and get an opinion.


I know how you're feeling, otherwise. You're not selfish at all. Give yourself a break, okay? Go do something nice for yourself, and get some good rest. Please keep us posted on how things are.


You and your mother are in my thoughts.


xoxo


Allie

[bethany]

yes i live with my 83 year old grandmother please contact a doctor
and no you're not selfish i very much know how you feel it can be very scary and you just want to get away from it all..try to delegate some time just for yourself to relax if that's at all possible

my time with myself before my nap during the day is crucial for me to make it through try to stay strong
take care
-megan

[ontariogirl]

I totally agree with Allie, I have worked with the elderly and you have to be so careful. Listen to Allie! Let us know how she is and how you are doing with this.

[sparky2004]

If your mom continues to get sick, than take her to the hospital. She is loosing precious bodliy fluids that can make her dehydrated and more sick. I know it's difficult sweety, but it sounds as if there is a health problem here with your mom. Take charge.

[moonshadow]

Hi, thank you all so much for your kind messages. We were not in a good state on Friday but things are much improved now! Mum stopped v*g about 3pm and I kept checking on her (and taking her rehydration fluids) until she fell asleep about 8pm and slept until morning. She was fine next day, just a bit wobbly, and came out for a meal as usual with me and my hubby in the evening!


As I predicted, she turned her nose up at the idea of seeing the doctor! Although 81, she is otherwise fit and healthy, has no medical conditions and is not on any medication. She's been absolutely fine between attacks, but this is the 4th she's had since last April.


I put in my 'how we got emet' post that she used to get severe monthly migraines and all thru my childhood and teen years I'd wake to hear her v*g and feel so much anxiety and fear until she recovered... but she was a lot better after the menopause, just getting mild headaches. Now this!


There's a condition called Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome and I have an awful feeling this is what she has - all the signs fit, such as the attacks following the same pattern each time. And it's so similar to the migraines she used to get, only without the headache. Why she should develop it at this stage of her life I don't know unless she's become more sensitive to whatever triggers it. But it's one of those conditions there's no test for so I don't hold out much hope for a proper diagnosis! It seems to take them forever for them to diagnose even the simplest thing - a friend of mine had a hiatus hernia for 2YEARS before the medics figured it out!


However, if it happens again I will MAKE her see the doctor! I swear I'm way more worried about it than she is! (A person with migraine/CVS and a person with emet in the same house - NOT a happy combination!) I have never told her about my phobia, tho she must have noticed I never go into her room until the v*g has finished - I just can't! (I tried this time but it sounded so dreadful, I had to wait). I just have to hide the anxiety cos it would beawful for her to think that her being ill was upsetting me - after all, she can't help it!


Thank you all so, so much for your kindness and advice. Fingers crossed, at the moment all is fine. Sorry to ramble on so much!

[jennyleigh1975]

Im glad to know that she is ok and that you are ok too. Just PLEASE make her go to the doctor next time. That is such a horrible thing for you and HER to have to go through!!!! I think it is wonderful that you take care of your grandmother like you do, despite your EMET.