Ashamed?

[siafi]

Does anyone every feel ashamed after they've had an encounter with v*? I don't know if that's the best word for the feeling, but whenever someone v*s around me, I can't talk about it and I feel kind of embarrassed, like someone v*ing is my fault almost. It's not just avoiding the topic because it was a bad memory, but more because I'm feeling shameor something. Has anyone else ever felt that?

[Abi]

Yeah I kinda feel like that. Its such a horrible act that I feel ashamed that it happens in the world. I hate that it happens and I often feel like its my fault, but I don't know why.

[clairethebear]

Yep I know exactly where you are coming from. The last time I encountered a V scene was when I was with my Partner. He did not see a thing because he doesn't look for it like I do. I found myself completely unable to talk about it or tell him what I had seen. I just couldn't talk for the shame. Kind of wierd and not sure why we feel like we do, but the fact is we do! I would have loved to have shared the situation with my Partner to help me feel better but it just didn't happen and to this day he does not know what I saw and it was pretty horrific. I told my best friend who also cannot stand V, but not to the same level as me. Even telling her took me a long long time as usually we share stories about V we have seen to help each other feel better. On this occasion I just found it so hard to talk about. I think personally for me it is because my phobia is getting worse and I need help. Who knows.

[2jo2]

I know what you're talking about too, I used to be that way before my husband knew about it. I'd be all introverted and quiet, and not talk, actually avoid the subject. If someone would start talking about being sick, getting sick or those stupid "I can top that" sick stories, I would totally change the subject as quickly as possible, or even interrupt them. Now I'm not so much like that. I think it's partly this site and therapy and telling my husband that makes it ok to admit now, but I totally know where you're coming from.

[e-lizabeth]

we're not ashamed of the actual vomit, kids, we're ashamed of our reactions and our internal responses. It's also a fear that if we voice it out loud, it makes the experience more real. Happens to me all the time. Makes perfect sense.

[siafi]

wow, those are good thoughts e-lizabeth!!

[sage]

shame is totally hooked in with this phobia - in a lot of ways. and it's different for everyone and we suffer to different degrees. but if you can work on the shame issues, the phobia is better.