At my whits end, I don't really know what to do anymore.

[vballxlauren1014]

I am getting to the point with my phobia right now, where I feel like it is ultimately ruining my life. I feel sick every single day. And I'm not exaggerating. My stomach is constantly upset, or I don't have an appetite, or I'm just nauseous for no reason, or for reasons unbeknown to me. Like today, a typical day for me is waking up feeling horrible right from the get go. I wake up either extremely anxious about how I'll be feeling, or I'll wake up nauseous or having to have a bowel movement right away/stomach cramping. Sometimes I'll go to the bathroom and that will somewhat relieve my feelings, but most of the time I am nauseous for a great deal of my morning. My hunger pangs are associated with nausea. Whenever I get hungry I am also nauseous, which makes it really hard to determine what I should do. If I eat, I normally have a stomach ache directly after, or shortly after my stomach will be really gurgly or I will have gas/bloating that makes me nauseous, where I absolutely have to let it out or I will feel horrible. I find myself constantly having to burp, or chew mint gum to even feel somewhat of a relief. Sometimes I will have really unusual soft stools, and sometimes they will make me feel better, and other times I feel worse after them. But I am nauseous for about 75% of my day, and it's mostly in the morning and right before I go to bed. Currently I am having a major anxiety attack. I've felt off all week, stomach viruses are going around, every time I eat I feel sick, and my stomach just feels super achy and tender all the time and I always feel like crap. I don't know what to do. Friends and family of mine keep telling me that it's all in my head, but why would I purposely make myself feel like this everyday? I'm starting to wonder if I'm not allergic to something I'm eating, or if I've developed some form of IBD like Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis. I also looked into H. Pylori infection and peptic ulcers which describe some of my symptoms but haven't been to the doctor yet for it because all these tests they have to run are very expensive, and not only that but one is an endoscopy (kind of my worst nightmare) and the other would be a barium. I wanna feel better. I wanna feel good and not constantly be questioning what's wrong with me today and the next day. I've also lost weight and in part I think that's because I never have an appetite so I never want to eat, but also I considered it maybe being a tapeworm. There's a lot of different possibilities, and there's always the idea that I'm doing this all to myself. Either way I need help. It's ruining my life, I can't go on feeling like this very day of the week. It's too much, I can't do it. I need answers of I need help.

[StormChaser32]

I think you aren't purposely making yourself feel this way all the time but all of the anxiety, not eating right and stuff is what makes you feel this way most of the time. I used to feel sick all the time too and didnt know what to do...I still do sometimes when I am not eating right. You might get checked for some sort of allergy..there are a lot of people that have problems with that. Are you on anything for anxiety? It sounds like to me a lot of what you feel has to do with anxiety. The brain is a complicated thing that controls everything we do
and sometimes it can get out of hand. I take Ativan sometimes for my anxiety. Been off and on it since I was 19 and I'm 37 now. You will be okay. Keep telling yourself that. I know it's horrible feeling this way but honestly I do think it's all of the anxiety. You will get through it! We are all here to help. If you need to message me and we can talk more.

[vballxlauren1014]

But some days I won't even feel anxious or I won't be worried about being sick at all, and I somehow still end up feeling like death later on, or at some point during the day.. And even when I try to eat good meals, and get full, I either feel nauseous right after or my stomach will hurt so it really discourages me from wanting to eat 3 meals a day. Lately I've been just trying to eat when I'm feeling okay to make up for the more than half the time when I'm not feeling good. My mom doesn't want me on anxiety medicine. One because its expensive for us, and two, because she feels like it will make me not myself and she's afraid that I will have like no emotion whatsoever. But it's really starting to become more of a health problem now, and I'm losing weight very rapidly, which I can't afford to be losing (125 pounds, 5' 10" inches tall). So do you think I should try and get into see my doctor to test me for certain allergies and start from there? I might also get tested for H. Pylori just to be sure. Thanks for your input, I appreciate it because its times like these when I feel so alone

[StormChaser32]

I would definitely see about allergies being a possibility. And then go from there. I have had days where I didn't think I was worrying about being sick but deep down I think I had been and just wasn't aware of it. There are anxiety medications that are not real expensive and do make you feel like yourself only better. Don't get me wrong there are ones for this and for depression that I would stay away from. The main one I didn't like for depression that they gave me along with my anxiety medicine was Prozac because it made me feel better but then I started feeling unlike myself. I didn't feel happy or sad. That one I didn't like. But Zoloft is good for OCD and Ihaven't had any odd feelings while being on it. I think you may benefit from it if it comes back you don't have any allergies or H. Pylori. If you are losing a lot of weight though, yes do go to your doctor and get checked out. Keep me posted on how things are going.

[vballxlauren1014]

@StormChaser32 feeling horrible today. every time I eat, shortly after i feel completely horrible. i've barely eaten anything today because whenever I do, I feel nauseous and disgusting. I'm starting to wonder if I don't have a stomach bug. I haven't had complete diarrhea, but it's been really unusual, and the feelings in my stomach are horrible. it's loud, gurgly, and completely tender to the touch. I'm also really nauseous...and nothing is seeming to help. is a stomach virus the only thing that can really cause this. I don't know, the nausea and stomach problems seemed to worsten about 3 days ago, so this has been going on for at least 4 days. the day before it started, I had a doctors appt and got 5 viles of blood drawn, testing my thyroid, hormones, and adrenal glands, just to make sure everything is normal. I won't know the results of those until about 3 weeks from now (I was told). I'm just so confused. it seems as soon as I think I know what it is, something else happens. I'm wondering if it could be hormonal. But i need to stop self diagnosing myself.. do you think it could be a stomach virus if it's been 4 days of feeling like this, on and off, and mostly at night, always after i eat (the most), and nausea, but little to no diarrhea? It seems like kind of a long time to be a stomach virus.. idk i'm feeling hopeless.@StormChaser32 feeling horrible today. every time I eat, shortly after i feel completely horrible. i've barely eaten anything today because whenever I do, I feel nauseous and disgusting. I'm starting to wonder if I don't have a stomach bug. I haven't had complete diarrhea, but it's been really unusual, and the feelings in my stomach are horrible. it's loud, gurgly, and completely tender to the touch. I'm also really nauseous...and nothing is seeming to help. is a stomach virus the only thing that can really cause this. I don't know, the nausea and stomach problems seemed to worsten about 3 days ago, so this has been going on for at least 4 days. the day before it started, I had a doctors appt and got 5 viles of blood drawn, testing my thyroid, hormones, and adrenal glands, just to make sure everything is normal. I won't know the results of those until about 3 weeks from now (I was told). I'm just so confused. it seems as soon as I think I know what it is, something else happens. I'm wondering if it could be hormonal. But i need to stop self diagnosing myself.. do you think it could be a stomach virus if it's been 4 days of feeling like this, on and off, and mostly at night, always after i eat (the most), and nausea, but little to no diarrhea? It seems like kind of a long time to be a stomach virus.. idk i'm feeling hopeless.

[g6princess]

Lauren, you sound just like me. That is how I feel! I am fed up with the way I am, and I feel like I'm at a dead end. I've had the phobia since before I can remember, so I have been struggling with this most of my life. I am almost 30 years old and I haven't even begun to live my life. My health is surely deteriorating due to the way I treat my body and my mind. I'm fortunate to have tremendous support from family, friends, co-workers, etc. but it wasn't always like that. For years, I struggled with people thinking I had anorexia because the phobia seemed to peak when I was in middle school and that was just the stereotype. It's not a phase, it's a real day to day struggle that too many of us have to deal with, on top of the rest of this crumbling planet we live on!

[jennjt]

I am right there with you all... Feel so desperate and hopeless for help. I feel like I am wasting my life with this damn phobia and I am not sure I can take much more. The quality of life right now is next to nothing, and I am willing to do anything. I am 31 with a 3 yr old daughter who deserves a mom!! The past year has been the worst ever for me, anxiety-wise. I woke up this morning wanting to cry, because my panic attack was so bad last night. I was shaking so bad and outside on my porch with my shirt off I was so freaking hot (it's cold in East Tenn!). I have overcome so many things in my life (drug addiction, specifically) and am so scared because I feel like meds may be my only hope. I have been through 3 antidepressant changes this year, and the one I'm on now seems to be doing NOTHING for anxiety. I have Vistaril for anxiety, as its a non narcotic option, and it is not working anymore. We don't have mental health insurance, so therapy is like last resort-- I have been through SO many types of therapy, and none have been "successful." There was a time when I was driving 2 hrs from home every week to see a therapist, and financially just couldn't do it anymore. The therapists I have tried in my hometown have never even heard of emet, so I ended up spending most of the session explaining to them what it was. Frustrating. I am so sorry to be unloading all my frustrations here and spilling so much negativity. I just felt that I could relate to you ladies-- I am at the end of my rope. My husband is in the medical field and wants to go with me to my gastro this week-- I am trying to schedule the endoscopy and colonoscopy that he recommended months ago now that my insurance deductible has finally been met for the year. I keep trying to explain to him that I truly think this is all anxiety-related, but he insists on crossing off medical things first, so I am willing to try. At least when we have to pay out of pocket for CBT, he will feel more comfortable knowing we have taken all "insurance-covered avenues" first. Sigh. Please post if you all find anything that helps. I am losing it.

[Sarah429]

I know exactly how you all are feeling. I feel terrible everyday and it always feels like something different so I feel like I can't be rational and say "oh I've had this before and nothing happened". I'm feeling pretty hopeless and alone and I feel like every single day is a huge fight against myself. I'm in therapy that isn't working so far and I am supposed to be going to college next year but idk if that will een happen depending on my emotional state. I was so desperately want to be normal. I always have and no matter what I just can't. I am underweight because I can hardly ever eat right or normally and I don't sleep because I am up half the night worrying about getting food poisoning from what I ate that day. It is nice to know that I'm not completely alone though. I just hope with all the hope in my heart that we can all just find a tolerable level of this phobia. That's all I can really hope for at this point. If any of you start feeling better please post on here because inspiration is good for all of us.