I’m new--My story

[azscp]

Hello, my name is Steve and I’m new to this group. I’m glad I found this group and I’m glad I’ve found others with this disorder. Not so glad this problem exists though. So this is where I’m supposed to tell you my story.

I’ve been battling my fear of V for 10 years now. It’s probably longer but it really got bad 10 years ago. I was 18 at the time. Fast forward 10 years and I’m 28. So my fear is actually the act of V-ing. I just can’t do it. I’ll pace around and do anything within my power to avoid doing it. It’s horrible. I splash water on my face, keep a cool rag handy, shower if necessary and ice packs to avoid the hot flashes.

10 years ago I was on a boat in the middle of a lake when I started to feel nauseous. There wasn’t an escape. So I went from nauseous to SUPER nauseous in 5 seconds. I had my first full on panic attack at that time as well. I was taken to the ranger station at the lake and the paramedics were called out. I was diagnosed with “heat exhaustion.” I was told to drink adequate liquids as to avoid future incidences. Well, days went by, then weeks, eventually a couple months went by before I was officially diagnosed with panic disorder. Somewhere in the middle I had several more episodes of “heat exhaustion.”

I started to avoid eating certain foods. I wouldn’t eat for at least 4 hours prior to having to go someplace. I would also not leave the house without water and/or ice packs. I live in <st1lace><st1:City>Phoenix</st1:City>, <st1:State>Arizona</st1:State></st1lace> and it gets a little hot here. So not only do I have this lovely fear of V, but I also have a fear of the heat. I eventually became a hermit. I’d only come out at night. I’d have a hard time in stores, etc.

Fast forward a few years. My doctor prescribed remeron to me. It was to curb the constant nausea and help me eat. Well it worked for about 3 months and then things went down hill, remeron stopped working. He wanted me to go on paxil and remeron together but I refused to go on paxil because of its side effects.

Fast forward one year. My brother asked me to be in his wedding and my youngest daughter was turning 5. My daughter was turning 5 in March and my brothers wedding was in April. I wound up missing my daughters birthday party because I was so afraid of having a panic attack. I wasn’t eating anything at that point either. I remember journaling what I ate on any given day and it basically consisted of…half a piece of toast, 1 mini peanut butter cup (eaten in 4 nibbles) and a couple sips of sprite.

At thi

[steph77]

steve- this sounds all too familiar. i have been through the yo-yo weight loss/gain since about 2nd grade and i am 27. what has helped me, and brought my weight to normal, has been lexapro. i love it. i tried paxil, zoloft, and celexa, but lexapro seems to be the one. it helps me to not obsess about the dreaded 'possibilities' mind you, it still happens, but not on a daily basis. ask your doctor about it. i hope this info helps. good luck.

[swiftette]

Welcome Steve!!!I think therapy is a very good idea because it's sometimes very hard for people-even the ones whos love us most to understand us. But we ALL can relate here on this site!As for the meds, thats all up to what YOU feel comfortable with.

[samara's on tv]

Welcome Steve! I used to be like you, not eating and what not I'm 5'10 and at one point I was down to 100 pounds. Now I weigh 145 and I'm actually thinking of trying to LOSE a few pounds...never thought that would happen. Anyway I'm like you when it comes to medicines for my anxiety. I've been on Zoloft since I can remember and on Zyprexa for about a year now. I'm always scared to try new meds because of the side effects. I'm on Nexium for my acid reflux disease and hiatal hernia. I remember once they put me on previcid for my reflux and that made me REALLY SICK...dry heaving and everything.


Anyway, you should continue to try with medication. I know that if I wasn't on meds I wouldn't be eating or sleeping or be able to go out in public like I am now. The side effects may be bad but if they are you can talk to your doctor and maybe change meds, or maybe the side effects will go away. Meds saved my LIFE they really did, so keep trying.


~Monica

[ontariogirl]

Welcome to this site Steve, and thank you for sharing your story. It helps when you get it off your chest, and makes you feel better that you are not alone with this phobia. I have had this phobia since the age of 9, I will be 40 in October. This phobia takes control of you with both barrels and at times it isn't pretty. I am not on any medication, I have ativan in my cupboard when I need it, I have a herbal remedy I take called Rescue Remedy, and I take Bonamine when my stomach feels sick. I have tried counseling for this phobia and nothing has worked for me, what didn't work for me could work for some one else. I am fine with this phobia from June until some times late October and than all hell breaks loose because to me from Oct.- late May is the flu season and all those months make me so on the edge. If you are looking for some help with this phobia I suggest for you to talk to your doctor for him to suggest doctors who can help you. I have seen "doctors" who have promotions on the net stating they can cure your phobia no matter what it is with in 24 hours!! That is bull. I was afraid to leave my place, there are days when it strikes me and I can't leave and thanI ball like a baby out of frustration. There is help out there Steve andI know you can do.


All the best.


Rhonda

[e-lizabeth]

Steve: your aunt may be right about meds...my father-in-law is an anti-psychiatry activist who is really opposed to drugs, but I'm on them now and I've found them very helpful, along with the right therapist. Try something other than Paxil - I was on Paxil but didn't like some of the side effects, so I went off and then a year or so later was having a hard time again so I went on Celexa, loved it, went off to get pregnant, had a baby, and went back on Celexa when he was about 3 months old. And it worked. Really well, so don't listen to nonsense saying that it doesn't work the second time around.


What's Remeron? How many kids do you have? Are you married? Are you able to work?

[honeybee]

hi,


thats a really touching story, im sorry you have had such a hard time, i am seeing a clinical psychologst on the NHS, and it is fantastic for just dealing with the anxiety side of things! i am really pleased with the progresses that i have made with her, i defently feel more optimistic about the future now!


something i tried whilst on the waiting list, for 1 year and a half, is hypnothearpy, that really worked, whilst i was in sessions, but the effects died down after a bit, it is worth it for the relaxation techniques that i still use today!


yeah i wouldnt recommend those online cures thing, i wouldnt say they are particually useful, i would try to find a well known thearpist in your area, that is ideally recommended to you by someone who has already been, thats what i did, and being uder 18, people are fussy about what treatment they give you.


i have irritable bowel syndrome too, so it is really hard to manage the v* factor, especially when i am having a bad day! i take maxalon 4X per day and that stops you being sick, but it doesnt stop the fear, because others might be sick around you, and i dont belive it is 100% full proof!