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  1. #1
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    Apr 2004
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    Canada
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    Hello everyone, I've been a member here for quite a while, but I've rarely ever posted. I'd just like to share my story with you.


    3 weeks ago, I managed to get on a plane and fly to Great Britain. This took about 5 months of therapy and a little help from a tiny green pill, butI did it.


    Our school's senior band (of which I am a member) decided to take a full week tour of England & Scotland last year. I decided that it was the opportunity of a lifetime, and I HAD to make myself do it. The trip was set up last year, and I began making payments in September of 2004. I was convinced that I could get on that plane. I DID get on that plane.


    The day we were set to leave, I was tired from not having slept all week due to anxiety. I woke up, finished packing, andwent to school where we would meet our coaches to take us to the airport. I got on the bus, which a few years ago, would have been HORRIFIC for me todo.


    When we got to the airport, my excitement about leaving the continent was almost overriding my fear of getting on a plane. I was proud of myself for something as small and insignificant as that. I was actually excited. We were at the airport for about 4 hours. That's how much time I had to worry about the upcoming plane ride. Long story short, I took a Lorazepan shortly before I got on, and I did it.


    No one was sick on the plane. I ate airplane food and felt fine, even GOOD afterwards. I was quite literally flying high. But the airplane rides weren't the most stressful part of my trip.


    When we landed, a girl in our tour group ran to the bathrooms to be sick. Luckily, I'd used the airplane bathroom and didn't have to go. When she came out, I actually had the strength to offer her a Gravol. She took it from my hand. I touched a person who had been sick just minutes earlier. I was SO proud of myself.


    The first 3 days of our trip went well. A boy on the other coach we were traveling with was sick, but I didn't see it, and I didn't know him, so I was alright. Later on, I was actually within a mile radius of him getting sick in a garbage can. I lived!


    On the fourth day of our trip, I was REALLY tested. The roads in Scotland are winding, narrow, and bumpy. Imagine being on a coach doing 70 km/hwith the same person who was sick right after the plane ride on the bumpiest, most winding road you've ever been on. It felt like a roller coaster. My stomach rose and fell with the curves of the road. And she had Burger King for lunch shortly before.


    We finally stopped at a rest station after one of the chaperones for our group had handed her a garbage bag. She ran off the bus to find a bathroom. I took another Lorazepan to calm myself down. I bought 2 magazines from the store there to keep myself preoccupied. I forced myself to get back on the bus after 15 minutes of crying and shaking like heck. When I got back on, I lost it. I mean, COMPLETELY lost it. I couldn't control my body. I was shaking so hard I was moving my seat that was bolted to the floor. I couldn't speak or see because I was crying so hard. Worst of all, I couldn't BREATHE. All I could think about was that she was going to get back on the bus. And if she threw up on the bus, other people would smell it and throw up, too. And then the whole bus would be full of people throwing up. I would be trapped and have NOWHERE to go, in a foreign country on a different continent. It was the most terrifying experience in my life. I could literally feel the blood pumping through my body. My pulse must have been at least 100bpm.


    She got on the other bus.


    They decided that it would be smart to isolate all of the kids with motion sickness on the other bus, and keep them there. I'd never been so RELIEVED in my life. I was crying tears of joy for nearly 2 hours afterwards. I was still shaking for the rest of the day, but I'd survived. I couldn't believe that I was going to be okay. Never in my LIFE have I been that terrified. I hope to never be that terrified again. She h

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
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    Wow....you did so well...I would have been horrified about that situation...my heart is beating fast just reading...i can only imagine how you must have felt...but like you said...you did make it through it...not to say it wasn't terrifying...but you lived and made it....that's wonderful....i know it must have been pure hell for you......And was it motion sickness or a sv??? I think knowing it was motion sickness would have made it better for me anyway....that's just the way I am....if it's a sv...i totally freak...but otherwise I am pretty much ok....but high five to you for handling that so well....that's great and I am proud of you...Kate

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    New Zealand
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    You were so brave!! I hate buses, I don't do buses ..not at all..never!!!!! I do fly because I am determined to not miss out on fun times, but I organise car transport, preferably hire cars!!!


    I think you did really well. Congratulations. There is nothing wrong with needing some lorazepam etc.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    Canada
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    Absolutley fantastic! You faced you fear head on, and wrestled it like a bull! You should be very, very proud of yourself. I am sure that you felt absolute freedom from fear.


    And don't kick yourself for having a panic attack. You cannotovercome this ina couple of days. Accept that you had a panic attack, but also acknowledge the incredible fact that yougot on a plane, 30,000 feet in the air,traveling well out of your comfort zone of home,actually ate on the plane, and delt with other travelers getting sick.


    I hope that you have gained strength from this groundbreaking accomplishment, and that you continue to fight your fear. We need to hear more stories like yours, no matter how big or small the accomplishment. It is another weapon we can all use to fight the anxiety and fear.
    <font color=RED><font size=\"4\"> FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL----fear</font>

  5. #5
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    Jul 2005
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    United States
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    I have had this fear my entire life and it is so conforting to go onto
    this website and read everyone else's stories.....First of all, I'd
    just like to tell you that I am 24 years old and the last time that I
    V* was when I was 3 years old. Pleae knock on wood for me. Watch, I get
    sick tomorrow...God forbid but hey....If it happens, I CAN HANDLE
    IT....Ya gotta keep telling yourself that. Can't let the fear control
    you. You've got to take a hold of the situation. RISE TO THE OCCASSION
    and be strong. Becuase you have the power to get through it. I have
    gotten the SV and luckily never V*. It actually cameout the other way
    which is fine with me. I'd rather sh*t my brains out for a month than V
    once...But hey....Like I said...We need to be strong and face it with
    courage and honestly. Some people have very sensitive gab reflexes
    while others don't at all...And different virus's affect different
    people differently. Whens omeone would get a SV, I would be anxious all
    week and not sleep and just wait to come down with it... Well...With
    the exception of one time, I never did get it. And this one time...It's
    so weird...It was a SV and everyone was getting it..IT was like a line
    of people one by one...Well...I finally caught something but it was
    weird...Like I caught the virus but it seemed to migrate in my arm,
    shoulers, and neck. I had a fever and it just effected my muscles so
    keep in mind just because one person reacts one way doesn't mean that
    it's going to happen to you that way. It's all how yuor body reacts to
    it. Okay so this is kind of inspiring. My boyfriend and I spent a night
    in the city and he had a little to much to drink and said he wasn't
    feeling well...I told him that I could not drive home like this. All I
    could think about was driving through the holland tunnell and having
    him V. I can't be in close quarters with anyone doing that....I once
    almost crashed into a telephone pole when my friend told me she wasn't
    feeling well...I pulled off the side of the road so fast and jumped out
    of my own car and ran down the street..I almost had a panic attacka nd
    cried and told her how sorry I was but that I couldn't drive like this
    and that her mom needed to come and pick her up....ANYWAY...So my
    boyfriend--the love of my life--my coulmate tells me he's not feeling
    well and oh my god...The world stops...I start having heart
    papitations. I'm freaking out. I'm crying to him. I just wanted to
    run...Run away and not comeback until everyone was okay but I knew that
    I couldn't do that...Well...I could do it but it just wouldn't be
    right...So here we are in the middle of manhattan. I'm anxious just
    writing this....He's the sick one and he's consoling me...I know we
    have to get home becuase we both have work the next day. Believe me I
    considered just running and getting a hotel room for myself and calling
    out of work. I considered every possible thing. I even called a few of
    my friends to come into the city to pick him up but it was 3m and noone
    picked up plus it was very selfish what I was doing but hey....we can't
    think about how selfiss it is in those moments. ANYWAY....He tells me
    that he doesn't think he's going to get sick but just incase he did, he
    was going to self induce it...This way he will get everyone out and
    feel better and have more control. At first, I was freaking out. He was
    so calming and soothint though and I think the fact that he had such
    control helped me...He told me to close the windows and put music on
    and thats exactly what I did. I didn't see anything or hear anything
    but I knew exactly what was going on...oh my god my geart is pounding
    right now. ANyway he got back in the car a few minutes later and said
    that he felt better and not to worry...That he was just going to go to
    sleep...Guys...I got through that....I did it...And if I can do it, you
    can do it. It wasn't the end of the world....Wow...I think I'm going to
    go Sh*it my brains out now though...Hahaha just talking about it gives
    me anxiety. But I did it. I got through that. I'm reading eveyon

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    New Zealand
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    52

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    Well done Debra, just want to say thanks for your open honest story! Loved it!


    Good on you! You sound like a neat, amazing ,strong person!

  7. #7
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    Jul 2005
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    United States
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    aww thank you carri for your response. Thank means a lot to me and you
    must be a very nice person for saying those things...I just discovered
    this websit last night and my god I am overwhelmed with joy to learn
    that I am notthe only one and that others suffer from this as well.
    I've been told by various therapists that it exists but now I"m seeing
    it for myself and it's very comforting.

  8. #8
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    Apr 2005
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    United States
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    Wow I cannot be trapped in a car/bus with ANYONE who is sick. I mean I can hear someone V*ing from like a mile away. If I had to be on that bus I would have totally freaked the hell out. I'm glad that you got through it though and it was a good thing to isolate all the kids who were sick.


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
    To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

  9. #9
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    Apr 2004
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    United States
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    That's alot of v* exposure packed into one trip. You did great!!!!!
    In memory of the sweetest german shepherd I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you, Duncan. 3/12/02 - 12/19/11

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    Alberta, Canada
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    Debra- isn't it amazing the feeling of knowing there is a name for this fear and lots of other people who have it?? I am new too, and I was over joyed at the fact of knowing the name, let alone finding a website!! Welcome, and thanks for your amazing story!


    PS....What is Manhatten like? I'm just a boring Redneck Albertan. Always wanted to got to NY!


    Crystal
    That, which does not kill us, makes us stronger!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    United States
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    Crystal--New York City I think, in my opinion is almost very
    European...Just the architecture (oh my god--I spelled that very
    wrong--I'm the worlds worst speller). Parts of it are almost two
    perfect and other part can be very slummy. There is a lot of magic to
    the city..It's very fast paced and so many different typesof people
    from all walks of life. New York City is very liberating to me. Lots of
    people have open minds. There are so many great places to eat (of
    course I try and stick to the whole foods and vegeterian dishesand not
    meat--gotta stay away from the e coli and salminella!!! hahaha) and
    interesting boutiques and shops to go into. You practically have
    anything and everything you want at your finger tips. I actually just
    moved into the city two months ago but I've been coming here my whole
    life. I grew up in New Jersey which is only about an hour from the city
    from where I was. My boyfriend and I recently moved into together. We
    move into an area called Soho (south of Housten street) and it's such a
    fun area....Everyday a different movie is being filmed..This is where
    most of the celebrities live. Whoa..I'm sorry to have gone off on a
    tangon over here..As you can see, I've very passionate about New York
    City. I love it. I think it's a great place. However I do not want to
    raise a family here...WAYYYY to expensive!!! And the apartments are
    very small. You get much more for your money in the suburbs. Plus it's
    nice to wake up in the morning and hear the birds chirrping and not
    sirens.



    Anyway as you can see, I am a dreamer and love to live life to it's
    fullest but this phobia has certainly gotten in the way a lot. I
    still live my life and get onto planes. I even got onto a bus last
    summer with my mom. She took me away to Europe when I graduated Rutgers
    University and we were taking a bus from the Lake District to
    Stratford-upon-avon and I HATE BUSES. OOh...They are just so
    uncomfortable and N. A little girl two sat in from of us V' on and off
    the entire trip. At first I almost jumped off the bus and then I just
    stuck my face in my moms armpit, rocked back and fourth and tried to
    think positive thoughts. The little girl was very small and pretty and
    it seemed to just come natural to her. Everything was done very
    discreetly and neatly. She would just open the bag and do it. I'm
    assuming her sister was just sitting by her reading a book. I don't
    know how she could just sit and read a book. I'd be having a nervous
    breakdown but hey--guys...I did that too...You get through it and it's
    unpleasant but you do it and you don't die. If anything, I think it
    helped me in the end. OOOh god though...I live in fear of V. Hahaha...I
    really do. But you just have to talk to yourself. Like talk yourself
    through it..Say in a calm confident voice, a little V won't kill me.
    it's not the end of the world. " Try and look at the bigger picture as
    hard as that is in the moment...I know it's hard..But just know that
    millions of people are suffering out there and that this is a tiny
    little moment in our entire lives. Try not to live in fear of catching
    the SV too. I used to do that and I still do to a certain extend but
    keep in mind that just becuase you catch it doesn't mean your going to
    V. I've caught it and I NEVER V. It will probably come out the other
    way DOn't stop living your life and face your fears with courage and
    honestly. We can get through anything!!! We just have to stand tall and
    rise above it. WE fear theset hings for a reason too but it's mind over
    matter and it's definitely important to find someone wonderful--someone
    who possesses empathy and love to help you work through this. Your
    feeling this way for a reason. We obviously associate this with
    something terrible something tragic so we need to work through that and
    understand what goes on in our hearts, and minds. For a lot of us,
    something bad happened to us to make us get to where we are. So we need
    to go back in time and find out what that was somehow and work through
    it. I do believe in exp

  12. #12
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    Jul 2005
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    United States
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    hey guys....I haven't been on here in about a week or so...maybe a few
    days less..Anyway it's good to be back on. Our computer in the city is
    down so I came home for the weekend (my other home in Jersey) to visit
    my mom and it's so comforting to come on here to this website. I swear
    this website has helped me. Just reading everyones stories and
    experiences and knowing that I am not alone...Somehow I feel myself
    growing and changing. I also wanted to share something with you
    that occured a few days ago. I was at one of my friends houses and we
    were sitting at her kitchen table drinking hot tea, watching the rain
    fall outside, and just talking about life when she looked over and
    said, "oh no....Gino's (her yello Lab dog) going to throwup. She knows
    about my fear so I thinks he was telling me so that I could run out of
    the room and I'd be lying if I said that wasn't my first instinct---to
    run...But I didn't. I just sat there and watched him Yak. I was like
    almost fixated and obsessed. My heart pounding....Watching a dog V is
    not nearly as bad as watching a human yet it was pretty gross but I did
    it guys...And it wasn't so bad and I think it really helped me.
    Yesterday I was driving home from the city with my boyfriends father
    and whenever I'm in a car, I always get vissions of the other person V.
    It's crazy--I know but I always imagine the worse. Anyway last night I
    imaged it and I it didn't feel so bad as it normalls would...Like I was
    just like, "okay..Alright..." it's weird...So guys..If you have the
    opportunity to watch a dog V, DO IT!! I strongly encourage you to do
    this!!! And watch the whole thing. Beginning till end...It's good
    exposure therapy and it's a doggy. A sweet little doggy. I'm a very
    spiritual person...I believe that the universe wont present you with
    anything that you can't handle...If your faced with something, try your
    hardest to face it with courage and honestly...

    xoxo

    Deb



  13. #13
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    Mar 2006
    Location
    United Kingdom
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    wow, that is sooo good that you managed to do that, you really should give yourself a gold star!


    i would have just insited to be removed from the bus you have done so well, i just wish i had the corrage to go on a plane, i really want to go on holiday to another country, but i can only drive places in a car, and that living in england, is pritty limiting!


    your story has inspired me to go on a plane or not be so hesitant about going on things like school trips! thank you

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    United Kingdom ( worcestershire )
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    Hi, You are amazing. I hope you feel very proud of yourself because you deserve it. My one and only dream is to fly to New York, i doubt it will ever happen. I won't give up hope though. Congratulations from me.


    carol

 

 

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