New and Very Afraid

[Kman5000]

Hello everyone. I just joined today after viewing this site for some time. I always felt so alone when it came to being an emet. I didn't realize so many people had the same problems that I do.

One of the biggest concerns that I have is that I am a very severe emet, and I have a baby on the way. My wife and I are equally as concerned of how this will affect things. It is ruining my life. I got sick february of this year with a sv* and since than, I have been incredibly terrified of v*. It seems like its all I think about. I wonder what the odds are that I will get another sv* this year. I sit and wonder when the next time I will v* will be. Just knowing that it is bound to happen at some point or another freaks me out. I can't even get excited for Christmas because it is the sv* season and I got it last year from my wife's family. It hit everyone.

I just don't know what to do about it and I don't know how I will be able to handle being a father when I know that kids get sick all the time.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Anything you can say that might re-assure me of my fear? Any help would be so much appreciated.

I'm absolutely tired of this controlling my life.

[FedUpLady]

Hi I'm truly sorry to hear how bad you are feeling- I understand how tiring it is suffering from this wretched phobia. It's wonderful that you have a child on the way (Congratulations!), but I would suggest that you do try to get some professional help as soon as possible to help you manage this condition a bit more as it does sound like you are extremely anxious- and I assume you will want to have shifted some of that a bit more in preparation for the child's arrival. Also don't forget that you don't yet know how you would react if your child got sick- because you are not a parent just yet! You are understandably assuming the worst because of how you feel now, but things can change and you may feel differently once you hold your baby in your arms There are therapists who can aid in this field, it may require some research on your part to find somebody who sounds appropriate. As far as I am concerned this phobia is indeed a specific phobia of it's own right (and it will vary from person to person as to precisely why they have it), but it all comes down to anxiety one way or another so I would suggest trying to tackle some of the anxiety. Your wife clearly is aware of your phobia- are you good at discussing the phobia with her? How much does she understand? Are there other family members who could provide some extra support if you make efforts to tackle your phobia? Try to use the child's arrival as positive motivation to get the help you need...but don't give yourself unrealistic pressure. Have you spoken to your GP? Have you thought about anti anxiety meds? Have a proper think about steps you would like to take, discuss them with your loved ones- whoever you feel comfortable talking to and let them be involved. We can often create lonely feelings by not confiding in those who often want nothing more than to help. In the meantime take sensible precautions like washing hands after touching potentially dodgy surfaces, and any other actions that may help you feel more calm. Just remember you are NOT alone, and the quicker you take action to tackle your issues the better- it may not make the phobia disappear and it will probably take some time and effort but you can find ways to cope and manage it, I believe that. You can do it!- and I wish you all the best.