I haven't posted on here in a while. I think to be honest I have only posted one time before. I keep trying to get a hold on my phobia, but it just never seems to work. Within the past couple weeks I have had to deal with my DS *v way more than once. He did have strep throat once that caused it a couple weeks ago. (He also gags until he *v when he has to take medicine, which doesn't help with my phobia any.) I keep trying to deal with it and not get upset, but sometimes it is just so hard. I feel like a terrible mother because I can't comfort him. I feel selfish because I am so worried I will catch it that I can't worry about anything other than disinfecting for hours. I just don't know what to do anymore. My phobia is just getting so bad that I can't even function anymore without it getting in the way. I can't even live a normal life or get a job. It has gotten that bad. I wash my hands until they are raw, I always have hand sanitizer with me. I take anti nausea meds excessively sometimes. It's to the point I am OCD over it. It is just awful. I got put on Zoloft by my doctor, but it makes me so dizzy I have a hard time taking it. Then tonight, my DS woke up *v everywhere. He *v a few times, and I am so terrified it is a stomach virus. Even though I have bleached, Lysoled, and washed almost everything in my house he has been in contact with I still feel like it is not disinfected enough. I am so tense and scared, I don't know what to do. My hubby takes care of most of the yucky stuff, but tonight I had to clean up *v off the carpet which is really making me nervous. Is there any way to make sure it is completely disinfected? I'm sorry this post is so long, but I am majorly freaking out. I feel so selfish for it, but I just can't even concentrate on anything else right now.