So today has been really tough! Felt off most of the day but put down to anxiety! Went shopping had panic attack! Came home made dinner had some wine and felt a bit better! Settled down to watch tv and started to get stomach pains (have been a little constipated lately and had a few stomach pains) anyway had a coffee and cigarette and went to bed, awful stomach pains followed with waves of *n actually thought this was it and I would *v! Someone has been lovely on here and got me though! Had *d the like of which I haven't had in a long time, just had a tiny bit more! Now my stomach just feels uncomfortable but am still a bit worried that *v may follow!

Am now sat trying another coffee and cigarette thinking kill or cure....am I asking for trouble?! Feel like its gonna be a long night!