Re: Feeling SO depressed...
Hi Ris
I'm so sorry you are having such a struggle now.
I too am emet and have been since I was about 6 or so-I'm 41 now. I can completely relate to everything you said. I often have periods where I backslide and feel the exact same way.
Emet is so strange in that it seems to come on very strong and then recede, sometimes for no apparent reason. It's hard to see all the good there is when the situation feels hopeless, but it will get better-I promise!
It's very easy to get stuck in a rut of doing nothing except sitting at home and obsessing/panicking over IT, and this does nothing but make you feel worse. When I'm having a dark time, I have to force myself to do things I normally love doing, but it really does help lift your spirits. Start out small-put your iPod on and listen to some music while you take a quick walk down the street, play with your dog/cat, bake some cookies, go shopping and buy yourself something smashing, read a funny website, good novel, or some trashy celebrity gossip msgazines, get a massage or manicure/pedicure-something/anything to break out of your rut and
give yourself a little happiness. You, and all of us, deserve to feel happiness.
Lastly, if you truly ever do feel tempted to harm yourself, please get help immediately. This bullshit phobia is not worth losing a life to.
Sending you hugs from across the Atlantic
Jennifer
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..”
― John Milton, Paradise Lost