Hey everyone, this is my first post on any kind of forum about my problem. I need some serious help and I honestly didn't know where else to go. My doctor sent me to some DumbA** "therapist" who checks the clock every five minutes clearly not caring or really grasping at all what i go through on a daily basis. which is a slap in the face and he wanted me to do these ridiculously hard activities to help expose my fear to me. i just couldn't handle it. i would just sit there and cry until the session was over and another $250 down the f***ing drain.

to be more clear I have been dealing with emetaphobia since grade 5, I am 20 years old now. and i have officially had ENOUGH. i can't live like this anymore. feeling nauseous all the time not knowing if it's my mind or if I'm actually nauseous. i can't do ANYTHING in a day where i don't think about it.

The other day my eyes weren't even open and i had already started thinking about "maybe i might throw up". i can't watch TV shows, movies, I can't drink alcohol most times, I can't get intimate with my boyfriend, I can't have a normal career because I can't focus just on my career it's always throwing up. I don't go to movies anymore, i have a hard time in the past week eating salty things so i eat a lot of sweets or just don't eat at all. as soon as my head touches the pillow i immediately start feeling anxiety over my fear.. for what reason. i can't do it anymore, I'm driving myself insane and my boyfriend and my PARENTS.

I have built a giant mask over me so that no one can see who i really am on the inside. a mess who is always freaking out. constantly. there isn't one minute of any day that goes by where I'm not thinking about it or feeling it. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't.

The thing that pisses me off the most is the fact that I myself know it's not harmful... or dangerous.. I've done it before... I've been sick. it wasn't pleasant... but it didn't kill me... right after i had been sick I'm usually fine. then all of a sudden usually the next day. the fear starts coming back slowy and then the next thing you know im back up to full on panic and anxiety attacks. shaking. sweating. dry mouth, crying, feeling vulnerable. WHY. I can't. I'm lost and i don't know what to turn to anymore I don't.

this isn't my full story... but you get the gyst of it if you're going through this or whatever....


PLEASE HELP ME.... I don't know what to do. i just need help... now...