Can't sleep. Paranoia is ruining my life

[bakogirl]

Despite my medications, I'm constantly paranoid. I had to cut back because the pills make me too drowsy but they help. But if I don't take enough it's like I might as well not take them. I'm prescribed 2 mg of kolonopin and 30 mg of remeron. Since I been having this belly pain all week it has made my nerves shot. I just had a major panic attack over my son. Nothing has happened knock on wood. But he was making noises in his sleep. I know he does that sometimes but he will also do that before he v in his sleep. I'm so paranoid right now. We haven't really been anywhere to be exposed. But I can't keep that thought out of my head. I'm so scared he's gonna be sick. He didnt show any signs but he never really has in the past. I just don't want to fall asleep and wake up to a sick kid. Plus he's asleep with his older brother.
I hate night time. And I hate being a mother sometimes. I should never had any kids but I didn't take any precautions and I wouldn't trade them for anything. But my fear is only worse since I do have kids.
I'm such a mess. I really feel like I'm going completely mental right now.

[kam00096]

Hey! Might it be worth going back and talking to your doc about a change in medication? Sometimes it takes a while to find the right ones for you. I take celexa now and have the opposite problem. No drowsiness but difficulty getting to sleep and crazy dreams. I can live with that though! :-) I can't imagine how hard it must be to have this phobia and have children as well and I admire all of you guys who do it! But you're not alone with the paranoia. I live with my folks and every time one of them gets up for a pee in the night I'm up like a startled rabbit! And they're old and pee a lot lol. Should know by now that they're fine but can never get it into my head. Is there someone you can talk to? Maybe try therapy or some sort of treatment? This phobia's exhausting and I reckon we should take all the help we can get!

[bakogirl]

I know I need my medication adjusted. I just like the remeron because its for depression and anxiety but its also an antiemetic medication. I've been on so many different pills I just get tired of not knowing what pill is going to do what to me. I've been hospitalized so many times because of side effects. I'm scared one day it'll be permanent. Like my aunt. They gave her something now she has this jaw problem where she can't control her mouth. She uses both her hands to keep her mouth in place. On more than one occasion I've been put in because I've almost bit my tounge off from my jaw clenching. Side effects just scare me. Not to mention those that cause nausea. I can barely take antibiotics because I'm so sensitive.

I'm nauseated all the time anyway because of my emet and anxiety. I hate the thought of sticking a pill in my mouth that will just add to that. I see my doctor on the 15th so hopefully he'll have some suggestions. He's so cool and understanding of my emet which is why he keeps me in the remeron.

[Cynna]

See your doc sooner if you need to. I am worried about you.

There is a night guard your dentist can make for grinding teeth in your sleep. I do it too. I think they make some over the counter now. It can give me headaches and jaw pain.

[bakogirl]

I worry about myself too. I hate getting those feelings. I feel so trapped but I'm causing it. I feel better today. It's not 3 am but I don't feel as bad right now.

I made my appt last month. I have kaiser so I can't just go in when I feel like it. I tried counseling but it didnt help. It was just another wasteful expense. I can talk to my doctor which helps. He doesn't judge me like most. I've been through 5 doctors till I found him. I was so sick of getting new doctors.

[Cynna]

Have you tried CBT or DBT? I hear that is really helpful to some. If you get to the point where you are scared you might do something, please call a hotline or goto an er. Hugs

[Ana Bellini]

It is, Cynna, I feel a different person since I started CBT!

Bako, how long have you been taking your meds? It takes over one month to feel a difference, but the first weeks are awful. I know it's difficult, but don't stop taking them. I'm having the same problem, but with vitamin pills. Iron makes me feel nauseated, but I keep taking them because I know I need them. I was on neotiapim for two months and it was horrible, I slept the whole day. No, I'm not joking. I only woke up to eat. It relaxed me so much that I slept.

Anyway, I told you that the first weeks are awful. When I started with Risperdal, I was nauseated for three days, but everything was fine after all.

If every time my brother made noises while sleeping he vomited, girl, he'd vomit every night. He speaks, my mother speaks. We ignore them. He's fine now, isn't he? If he wasn't feeling fine, he'd tell you.

I hope I was able to help, my friend. Hopefully you are doing better now

[greasydago]

Hi Bako, I have suffered from severe anxiety in the past, as well as not being able to sleep at night. I consider myself a severe emet as well. My Dr. prescribed me the smallest dosage of Paxil 12.5 that helped me tremedously! I still despise getting or feeling sick, but I also carry phenergan with me as well as drink Welchs grape juice during the high stomach flu months.