Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 38

Thread: Self-injury?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    234

    Default



    Hi! Another thread about 'tics' reminded me that I wanted to create one asking about this. I do a few self-mutilation type things a lot (more when I'm stressed, but also when I'm bored or even fine) that have become automatic -bad habits, I guess. This has been for probably 7 years or so, since the emet/depression/anxiety got bad for me. I haven't been able to stop any of them, and this past week I cut myself for the first time and I'm afraid I'll do it again. Does anyone else have problems with this, or have you been able to overcome SI?


    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    1,668

    Default

    I used to SI a lot, I've never left [much] scarring luckily but my wrists used to look awful with scratches. My Mum saw them and I passed them off as something else and stopped self harming for a little while. Then I started up again, just in lil ways with burns and cuts to my legs. I don't think I've ever cut that deep, I always get scared of going too far but a few months ago I went through a very emotional loss and scratched my legs up quite badly. Since then I've managed not to but the urges are always there ya know?
    Be courageous, believe in yourself, and be the best woman you can be. I'm with you all the way.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,087

    Default



    I do something weird, but I am scared to even say it. Very embarassing. I do it less, only when I am stressed.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    1,087

    Default



    I have SI once, when I was 19, I was so angry at another person, that I actually wanted to punch her. She was pregnant at the time, and even if it wasn't the case, I have never punched anyone. Anyway, I turned it all onto myself, and started scratching at my face and wrists. Luckily, no damage really done. I have actually thought about cutting, but have never done it, and I don't want to.


    My biggest thing that I do no matter what and no matter how I feel, is I pick at my face. If i get a zit or something, I will pick it forever, and then they last for litterally months, b/c I constantly pick at it. I HATE it, I hate looking like a pizza face, and I hate that I always have my hands near my face (germs, anyone?). The only time I don't do this, is if I don't have any zits...which is rare.


    Talking about that....acne. I noticed that mine got really bad when I was preggers, and 23 years old. It never got better. I had better skin as a teenager, then I do now. How stupid is that?


    Mitch....noone will judge you here, and I think you find that alot of us do embarassing things too...don't be afraid to open up to us. We are here for you, not against you! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


    Crystal
    That, which does not kill us, makes us stronger!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    649

    Default



    I've never done anything like that. Though when I was in highschool, I would eat a plain bagel and coffee in the morning and that would be it. Usually when I was stressed. But no self mutilation persay.


    My sister was a cutter for a little bit. (her arms above her wrists look terrible), but she's suffered w/ bipolar since she was a young teen.
    Friendship is like pee in your pants.... everyone can see it.... but only YOU can feel it\'s true warmth...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,208

    Default


    Quote Originally Posted by mitch04133

    I do something weird, but I am scared to even say it. Very embarassing. I do it less, only when I am stressed.


    Mitch:

    I know how you feel..I do something also classifyed as self injury..I don't doubt its different to yours..</font>


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    302

    Default

    I only do SI during my worst panic attacks. I completely dissociate and scratch myself to take my mind off the n*. The last time I was n* for real, I woke up the next morning with scratches and dried blood all over my stomach and boobs....and I barely remember scratching myself.
    Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom. - Marilyn Ferguson

    Habituation always defeats fear. - Edmund Bourne


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,666

    Default



    I used to cut myself like all the time. It had been almost a year since I had last done it but then recently I cut myself Just a LITTLE bit because I was so stressed out about something. Luckily the thing I stressed out about was fixed and I'm fine now. I have scars on my arms, you can't really see them unless you are looking but they are definately there.


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
    To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    383

    Default



    i self-harm, i tried to stop but i cant. luckily my bf is very supportive, he actually told me he would rather i use my method of self harm so that i relieve stress on a regular basis than try not to leave it all building up and then do something worse. Since he has felt like this (before he was completely against me doing it and tried to make me stop, until he talked to a friend of his who also harmed) i have not hurt myself as much, its almost because im 'allowed' to do it, it doesnt have the same effect which i guess is good. I have difficulty dealing with my emotions and last night was a classic case of everything building up. Now that i am starting to lose my dependence on self harm, i just need to learn to deal with how i feel better, and not be afraid to cry.


    If anyone wants to chat about this or anything else, send me a private message, or post ur msn name and ill add you to my list

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    234

    Default



    By the way, my MSN is [email protected]. Please add me, anybody!


    Crystalmom, I do the same thing with my face!! I have a few scabs right now that were zits a very long time ago, but whenever the scab heals I pick it off again. My face has looked awful on and off for years because of this. It's worse when I'm stressed. Glad I'm not the only one!


    And Mitch, I do something embarrasing too, that I've only ever told my boyfriend and I was so scared to! I think it didn't help that he thought it was weird too [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]don't worry! we are not alone!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    302

    Default

    Yeah, I'm also a zit picker, which is why my face still hasn't healed up from the breakout I had in August!! C'mon girls, the suspense is killing me....what is this embarrassing thing?
    Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom. - Marilyn Ferguson

    Habituation always defeats fear. - Edmund Bourne


  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    402

    Default

    I bite the inside of my lip/mouth/cheek really bad when I'm nervous. Sometimes I don't even realize I do it until I taste blood [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]
    <font color=BLUE>~Paula~</font>

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    154

    Default

    just a few weeks ago i went through my first ever case of self harm... atm im going through a lot wit this phobia and depression and anxiety... and i cut deep into my arm... afterwards i dont know why i did it there and wish i hadnt cos i had tocover it up.. but i didnt thikn of that when i was doing it... i hav urges to do it again but i dont want to cos my mum found out and it has put a lot of stress on my family.. im like the black sheep in my fam... theyreall very innocent and 'proper' i guess and i hav gotten piercings and smoke and then did this, my mum doesnt handle it all very well... so i odnt want to keep putting stress on her she has enough to deal wit with s*** in my fam... this might sound wierd but it feels so good and i hav huge urges to do it more but i odnt for those reasons.. <!--
    var SymReal&#079;nLoad;
    var SymReal;

    Sym()
    {
    window.open = SymWinOpen;
    if(SymReal != null)
    SymReal();
    }

    Sym&#079;nLoad()
    {
    if(SymReal&#079;nLoad != null)
    SymReal&#079;nLoad();
    window.open = SymRealWinOpen;
    SymReal = window.;
    window. = Sym;
    }

    SymReal&#079;nLoad = window.&#111;nload;
    window.&#111;nload = Sym&#079;nLoad;

    //-->


    stef - everything happens for a reason

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,785

    Default

    Ok I am going to bite the bullet. I PM Michele and told her that if she doesn't want to tell than don't. Even though she may think that what she done is weird and embarrassed by it we may have done the same thing. I told Michele that I have done something when this phobia begun for me when I was 9. Thanks to Charlotte I have been going back to my past and thought of this. Now here I am PMing Michele telling her that its ok and for me this is embarrassing so I am asking please don't judge me, plus this "opening up" is helping me out.
    Ok here it goes; when this phobia started I was hit with panic attacks every hour of everyday. I would chew on pen's and the ink would be all over my hands, I would bite my nails until the bled and cry in pain the next day anything to get my 9 year old mind off the feeling sick. Now here it is, when the panic attacks were so huge I would touch myself, yes I would just cup my hand over my crotch. My mother told me that she mentioned this to the many doctors I was seen by and they told her that it is normal, it is a comfort thing. [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]
    Last time I had done this was around 15 years old.
    Now its out that is what I used to do. Some things have come to light and I am further investigating my past. I am scared to find out the truth and I spoke to my parents who are supporting me 100%. When I find out I will post.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    1,087

    Default



    Bravo Ontariogirl....you have "outted" us all. I think this may be the one really embarrassing thing we have all done. It's not like touching yourself to orgasm or anything. For me, it was, and if the attack is REALLY bad, still is, just grabbing and hurting (to a point). Maybe b/c this area is so sensitive, the panic may go away faster b/c the feeling of pain is more intense. I did it all the time. It was, "grab a lip and pinch". [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]


    Good for you girlfriend!! [img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]


    Crystal
    That, which does not kill us, makes us stronger!

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,785

    Default



    Thanks Crystal, I must admit I was a little hesitant of putting that down. I am glad I am not the only one. I feel so much better....... thanks[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


    Rhonda

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    302

    Default

    Ontariogirl, you're definitely not the only one....I do that too.
    Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom. - Marilyn Ferguson

    Habituation always defeats fear. - Edmund Bourne


  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,363

    Default

    Yeah, me, too, really, but not so much to the point of pain. It scares me how much we are all alike!
    "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    211

    Default

    Now I found out what a scaredcat I really am! I would be far too
    scared of contracting an illness such as staphloccal (or however you
    damn well spell it) poisoning from an infected cut!! Apparently its a
    bug which is always present in the skin but can cause problems if you
    break the skin and it gets into the cut!
    With a bit of luck it might stop some of you harming yourselves in the
    future, because I'm fairly sure staphloccal poisoning can actually
    make you v*!
    [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]
    Laugh, quick, before you cry....

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    42

    Default

    My heart goes out to you guys! I have never cut but I have wanted to,
    especially times when the anxiety is so intense that you feel like you just
    need to let it out of your body physically.Like if your skin is opened the
    pressure will escape like air.

    Recently I started a project where I sanded the paint off an old dresser to
    reveal the wood underneath and the sensation of carving wood is really
    helpful to get out aggression and pressure.I think it's good to replace
    the urge with something else.I hope this idea helps.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    234

    Default



    Girls, thank you for sharing. You're so brave! You're all inspiring. But I'm still too scared to share mine!!...[img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    225

    Default



    i do the spot picking thing too, also any blocked pores, im paranoid about the idea of their being pus or anything in my pores i feel dirty and infected so am constantly picking spots to be sure, i do this even though i know im making it worse but at the time i just dont think :S


    I do get the urges to cut, but i havent. My mum has a tens machine and i use that on a very high setting to the point it hurts and feels like having a tattoo done. It feels like cutting without the cut basically, its so wierd but has helped distract me from a panic at times.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    649

    Default

    What's a tens machine?
    Friendship is like pee in your pants.... everyone can see it.... but only YOU can feel it\'s true warmth...

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,363

    Default

    LOL...Holly, see I am not the only one that didn't know!
    "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    225

    Default

    its used for pain releif. It is small electrodes you attach to yourskin which use an electrical impulse to stimulate nerves. MY mum has one to treat her prolapsed disks. If you have it on the highest setting its a really hot burning feeling like slicing through your skin, its exactly the same feeling as getting a tattoo. I thought gettin a tattoo was very relaxing and find this relaxes me, but everyone else thinks im crazy because its painfull. I first discovered this when i tried to use it to treat a migrane, i alway use it on my shoulders and back of my neck.

  26. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,785

    Default

    A staph infection can happen but rarely.

  27. #27
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    288

    Default

    No one on here should feel embarrassed for what they do to comfort themselves. I can understand the hesitancy, but i can BET you all, that those who are reading here, and not posting, are probably all saying to themselves...WOWWWW I DO THAT TOOOOO!! hehe!

    Ok for me, when i was very young...like from 4-10yrs old...i'd find myself BITING my arms to point of drawing blood! It was during times of stress, frustration, or anger...i guess that was my way of releasing..i think i did that also when i was mad at myself for whatever reason, like i was punishing myself for screwing up!

    I don't remember having done any type of self harm during my teens on up to present...although i do remember times of doing the "touching yourself" as you all have, but not to cause pain...yet i didn't think that had anything to do with my stress, fears, or phobia...but since you all have opened up, i can't help but feel that there MUST have been a connection to it, since we all seem to share such similar traits! Now as an adult...as torn as i am over this act, (meaning brought up hearing it's a healthy act, yet my faith, calls it a sin)...I find 'touching yourself" to the point of orgasm is a huge stress reliever. That's a biological fact.

    One thing i do on a regular basis (and i don't even realize i'm doing it) is either biting my nails until they bleed, or biting the inside of my cheeks, sometimes to the point of OUCH!!! My b/f will catch me and say..."HEY, STOP DAT!!!!" hahaha! And i always answer.."I know, I KNOW!" lol

    For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

  28. #28
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    897

    Default

    I have a habit of picking at my cuticles. my cuticles are always raw and gross and swolen. i cut myself a few times, but not bad. the cuticle thing is what i do everyday, almost constantly.
    One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.

  29. #29
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    658

    Default

    When I am very nervous and panicky I dig my fingernails into my arms. Like someone else said, the pain distracts me from the nausea and panic so i guess thats why I do it.

  30. #30
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    400

    Default



    Hmm. I dont really do anything self mutilating. I could never purposely cut myself. Ithink I would faint. But anywho...


    I do some Weird things myself...Like I pour Super Glue all over my fingers...and peel it off...it gets my mind off the panic...but it also leaves me skin irritated and sometimes it rips of skin! Yikes! And then it hurts whenever something touches it....I also chew on my lips...and sometimes they bleed. But thats about it.


    Ive also done the cuticles thing like Bex...I sue to do it all the time...even if I had no cuticles left!
    *Mandi*

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •