Pregnancy fear

[Amanda.S]

Hello all!

I have suffered from the fear of V* for as long as i can remember, and im now 28 years old. Going to work has gotten easier because i work for a small law firm with two girls who are my friends. My boss is also very young and understanding, i basically consider him family.

Let me just say, i suffer from severe anxiety and panic disorder and have been on zoloft for 10 years. I also suffer from acid reflux, which is partially caused from the stress. i have been in the hospital twice for a stomach ulcer.

I had the stomach flu once in my life. i v* twice...back to back...and held the rest for a week until i was better. this phobia has never subsided. the only time i have felt "okay" with the thought of v* is right after i do it...because then i know at least im probably safe for a few more years before i get sick again. (havent since then..2 years in counting).

Being that i am getting older, i have seriously thought about having children. i adore kids. i have 12 cousins who i watched grow from birth, my sister in law has twins (now 3), and my brother has a ten month old baby. i have always dreamed of becoming a mother. this fear has almost taken that out of me. i desperately want to feel the joys of pregnancy but have heard so many horror stories of morning sickness. nausea i can deal with. i am nauseous almost every single day of my life and i manage to get through it. im terrified of having to drive, having to work, do anything when i decide to get pregnant. people say there is no control, you v* at any given moment and you cannot hold it. (i have become a master at holding it). i understand there are meds...i have taken zofran many times. what if my doctor refuses to prescribe it? what if it doesnt work? what if i develop hyperemisis gravidium.

all of these thoughts plague me. i have run out of options. i already have began my research on surrogacy and adoption because i know the fear alone of morning sickness would cause me so much stress it could harm my body and my baby. my boyfriend says he will support whatever decision i make. (he was adopted)

does anyone else have this problem? has anyone else avoided pregnancy altogether? it saddens me in my heart to think i will never feel a baby growing inside me, but i really feel i have no other choice.

thanks for listening.

[Grace47]

I did have morning sickness when I was pregnant, but I really didn't feel that bad. It doesn't feel the same as a sv. Hyperemisis gravidium is a very rare condition that I had never even heard of before Princess Kate got it. I wouldn't worry too much about getting that. IMO, she may be on hormone treatments which have thrown her system way out of whack. Not everyone gets morning sickness. You might be lucky.

[lilwng]

I had morning sickness and never once got sick during my pregnancy. Labor was another story, but it was my fault. If you want children, don't let this phobia stand in your way.

[Cynna]

Kids are wonderful blessings. Go for it. Adopted kids are wonderful blessing too.

Kate (whatever her title is, not from UK) has a very, very rare condition.

[kategirl84]

I'm 37 weeks pregnant right now (well, will be as of tomorrow) and I haven't v*ed the entire time *knock on wood*. I felt a little MS at the start, I think mostly because I got a bad cold right when I turned 5 weeks which didn't help things, but my OB suggested a combination of B6 and Unisom which has kept me feeling fine the rest of the pregnancy. After talking to some of my friends, I'm actually surprised how many of us never really felt s*.

[ditchy_jon]

Hello all!

I have suffered from the fear of V* for as long as i can remember, and im now 28 years old. Going to work has gotten easier because i work for a small law firm with two girls who are my friends. My boss is also very young and understanding, i basically consider him family.

Let me just say, i suffer from severe anxiety and panic disorder and have been on zoloft for 10 years. I also suffer from acid reflux, which is partially caused from the stress. i have been in the hospital twice for a stomach ulcer.

I had the stomach flu once in my life. i v* twice...back to back...and held the rest for a week until i was better. this phobia has never subsided. the only time i have felt "okay" with the thought of v* is right after i do it...because then i know at least im probably safe for a few more years before i get sick again. (havent since then..2 years in counting).

Being that i am getting older, i have seriously thought about having children. i adore kids. i have 12 cousins who i watched grow from birth, my sister in law has twins (now 3), and my brother has a ten month old baby. i have always dreamed of becoming a mother. this fear has almost taken that out of me. i desperately want to feel the joys of pregnancy but have heard so many horror stories of morning sickness. nausea i can deal with. i am nauseous almost every single day of my life and i manage to get through it. im terrified of having to drive, having to work, do anything when i decide to get pregnant. people say there is no control, you v* at any given moment and you cannot hold it. (i have become a master at holding it). i understand there are meds...i have taken zofran many times. what if my doctor refuses to prescribe it? what if it doesnt work? what if i develop hyperemisis gravidium.

all of these thoughts plague me. i have run out of options. i already have began my research on surrogacy and adoption because i know the fear alone of morning sickness would cause me so much stress it could harm my body and my baby. my boyfriend says he will support whatever decision i make. (he was adopted)

does anyone else have this problem? has anyone else avoided pregnancy altogether? it saddens me in my heart to think i will never feel a baby growing inside me, but i really feel i have no other choice.

thanks for listening.

I would have a chat with your Doctor about your worries before you start trying to become pregnant. They will be able to settle your worries about it and usually in your birth plan they tend to stay clear of things that might upset your stomach.

[coolpk2003]

I'm 27 and I got pregnant in August of this year. I was only pregnant for 10 weeks before I miscarried but I didn't throw up. My hormone levels never got very high so that might have been why but I hear a lot of emets never throw up because they have learned to control their nausea and have techniques that keep them from being sick. When I found out I was pregnant I called and told them i was Emetophobic and needed something for the nausea and they prescribed me Zofran without even seeing me. I only took 1 the whole time and i took it that day for anxiety. I was a nervous wreck the whole 10 weeks. I do want to get pregnant again this fall and I hope it will be a good pregnancy and the baby will survive unlike the last one. I think we can all do this!

[Amanda.S]

Thank you everyone for your input. I feel like i'm a strong woman and I may be able to handle being pregnant, I just have a horrible fear that the stress will consume me and it could make me more sick and harm the baby.

I know everyone is different during pregnancy. I guess when people mentioned the uncontrollable v* at any moment, it really freaked me out.

[AoD]

Well, fear of morning sickness and kids being so germy is part of the reason why I don't want kids. Then again, I never really had that maternal instinct thing and I don't like babies (sorry people who have babies, I don't mean to offend) and there's a lot of other reasons why I wouldn't want to go through with pregnancy... I would consider surrogacy as a compromise if I was with a man who really wanted kids at all cost, but that isn't legal here. If you decide not to have kids, keep in mind that it's normal for some people not to procreate and it's not a bad choice. But it has to be a choice you make, not something you're refraining from doing out of irrational fear and that will lead to regrets later. But adoption or surrogacy (if you can have access to that) would be wonderful options that would allow you to avoid the problems associated with pregnancy, and you could still have children you'd love just as much as if you gave birth.

[jadeshine]

I can not have my own children, but even if I could my emet would more than likely take over. I've always wanted to adopt, so it kind of works out well for me. But in my opinion, if you think you would have greater joy from having your own child, it's so worth it. You ARE the master of holding it in.

[marieb73]

I had morning sickness. It was really bad n that lasted all day until week 14.

For some reason, it never freaked me out. N always freaks me out but this did not. Maybe it's because I knew why I was n.

During labor I did experience n as well but I told my nurse and she put gravol in my IV and that killed it pretty fast. My DD was born very very early though so the n was the last thing I cared about at that point. Her surviving was my main concern. To be honest, I actually thought while I was in labor that if v would be some magic thing to save her, I would do it.

Now, I will admit. Kids are dirty little buggers. My daughter is almost 3 and it is nearly impossible to keep her from being a kid. By that I mean, she touches EVERYTHING. Oh, and she puts her hands in or near her mouth. Very often. And of course it freaks me out.

Kids are worth it. Even when they have you up every 3 hours to be nursed as infants, and you are so tired you think you may die, they are worth it. Even when they doodle all over the walls, or go ahead and stick a crayon in their nose, they are totally worth it. They are worth every sleepless night and every bit of n you may or may not suffer during pregnancy.

[Lily08]

I have had 2 babies, and didn't have morning sickness at all with my first. With my second I felt nauseous more and not a lot sounded appealing to eat for the first trimester, but I never v. I did however have a gagging feeling in my throat through most of the first trimester, and that was the most annoying thing. I had c/s and no n or v with either birth. I think the nausea is easier to deal with while your pregnant, because you have a good reason, you know that the end result will be worth it. And I think just about any OB these days will write you a rx for zofran as soon as you ask.

Honestly I would love to have a 3rd baby....the baby part I love....it's the kid part and the possibility of one more person in this house to get sick, and I am afraid the more kids I have, the more often someone is going to be sick!

[HEH18]

Amanda have you considered any sort of therapy? It may help give you some tools to manage the anxiety you'd feel. Or this may be a good time to decide you're done with living with such anxiety that it has the ability to prevent you from living out what your non emet side desires. I have started CBT myself, and am finding it very helpful. I have also taken it upon myself to really work on my own away from my therapist, challenging myself. And the funny thing is, the more I push myself and the more often I resist what my emet side tells me, the less the anxiety gets. Anyways, just some thoughts!

I truly believe that we can get to the point where even if we have those thoughts enter our mind, we can learn to manage it so it doesn't go to the full panic/anxiety mode. As my therapist said, someone with a phobia goes straight from thought occurring to the phobia induced conclusion, without ever going through the normal process to reach a conclusion. She described CBT as helping me learn to retrain the thought process.

I don't have kids yet, but fully intend to have them when my husband is home more consistently. I know that there are things that will push the emet button, but truly I think that it's worth it. Your conclusion may not be the same, but I really encourage you to kick emet's ass by not letting the fear be the reason behind your decision, whatever it is.

[Amandakaye918]

First off how crazy is it that we have the same name and a year apart in age?! I haven't been on this forum in about a year because I was feeling so much better but something told me to come on here today and see if there was anyone I could help and I found your post!

I used to be on this forum 24/7 and I was actually basically housebound for 1 1/2 years because of my emetophobia and servere anxiety. My anxiety was awful, I was feel sick daily, could barely eat and just felt horrible at all times and that's when I was at home in my safe place!! Don't even talk about when I had to leave the house...I was a mess! This all happened because I got the stomach virus and v* for the first time in my entire life! I was actually able to get out of the house and feel like a normal human being around Janaury of last year.

I've always been scared of getting pregnant because of the potential of morning sickness but tried to forget about it until hubby and I had been married for 6 1/2 years this past June and decided to start trying the following month. WELL the first time we tried, it happened! Instead of jumping for joy when I saw the big fat positive on the home pregnancy test I sobbed. I was terrified because now I was pregnant and may have morning sickness and be back into my anxiety rut. I called my OB/GYN and told them I was pregnant and wanted zofran and they sent in a prescription without any hesitation. It felt better knowing that it was in my night stand just in case I ever needed it.

I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant and happy to say I never had morning sickness and I have a ton of friends who never had it either!!!!!!!! It's one of those things where people love to talk about the bad things that happen to them and those that feel good are out having fun instead of posting stuff on forums or blogs. Believe it or not, about one week after finding out I was pregnant all my anxiety subsided. I had some left over from my debilitating anxiety I dealt with prior but even that was gone. It's like my body knew that I had to get rid of it to take care of my little peanut.

I'm not sure if this is against the rules but if you ever ever need to talk please feel free to email me at [email protected]. I feel like if I would have had someone to talk to that had been there and done it then I would not have waited as long or been nearly as terrified.

Please don't let the anxiety or emetophobia cause you to not fulfill your dreams of having kids! I know being pregnant so far has been one of the best experiences of my life and it's all worth it when you feel your little one kicking inside. I could just sit for hours and watch my belly jump knowing that my husband and I made that little angel.

[Amanda.S]

ladies thank you so much! i just wanted to tell everyone i just found out I am pregnant! of course my nerves went crazy and i cried for about two days....but after all of that went away i really started thinking about the beautiful blessing growing inside of me. I am so thrilled to become a mom! i'm only about 5 weeks now...(i know its early and i shouldnt be telling anyone yet) i have had n* here and there but honestly for the amount of n* that I have had in my life, it really feels like nothing! having this phobia has made me stronger in a way. People don't understand that with my anxiety, I felt this type of n* every single day for years. I am confident i can get through this, but asked the doc for zofran just in case of an emergency.

i am so thrilled!! thank you everyone for your love and support!!

[Amanda.S]

Amanda thank you so much for your info! and congrats on becoming a mommY!!

[Grace47]

Congratulations! That is wonderful news.

[Amandakaye918]

Congratulations!!!!!! You will do great!! Once you get to see your little one on the ultrasound or hear their heartbeat you will never be the same again. I'm so incredibly happy for you!! One thing my Dr told me to do when I said I was scared of morning sickness was to take 25mg of B6 every night and I'm not sure if that's what kept my sickness away or just my body. Congrats again!!!

[Missa_Mae]

Congratulations!

I am on my first pregnancy currently, I am 27.5 weeks along. My morning sickness didn't start until week 9 and lasted thru week 14ish, I v*d about 5-6 times and was pretty n*. The v* was diff. than SV v* though, it came quick and then when it was over, that was it. If your OB refuses to prescribe Zofran, find a new one. I ended up not even using the Zofran as I didn't think it worked well so I used Phenergan and that was my *miracle* drug.

B6 works too - I took that for the first 15 weeks or so. Also, get some gummy vitamins as the regular ones can cause stomach upset.

And stay on your Zoloft, as long as your Dr is comfortable with it. I've been on a very low dose since I got pregnant and man do I feel like a new person.

[Amanda.S]

Thank you everyone for the well wishes! Just to update you all. The ms has gotten a bit worse. I feel as if im on a boat. Very off balance. Tired. dizzy. All that combined is making me n*. however it is not to the point where I have to v* yet. im so nervous now. I went online to do some research about how im feeling now and most people say "oh i had the same thing, then it turns into 27/7 cant move cant eat without v*". I am trying to remain calm and upbeat because i really am excited. Can anyone else share their ms symptoms with me? Positivety please!!!!

[Cynna]

CONGRATS

Do not eat too much or too little--either one can make you iffy. Small frequent meals. You could try water and crackers before getting up in the morn.

[Grace47]

Staying positive is a great idea. I got it much worse when I was emotionally upset. Strangely enough, when I was able to remain calm, it went away. You're doing all the right stuff. Remember even if it feels nasty, these hormone surges that are causing the n are actually a good sign that things are going well. Crappy, I know. (hugs)

[Ashleen]

Hi! Congratulations on your pregnancy!! I have had two pregnancy's and had mild ms with both... It got to about the point you are describing but never worse.... The only thing that did make it worse was taking the prenatal s... I did gummy vitamins instead. To deal with my mild morning sickness I did as was mentioned above with the small frequent meals... also altoids and lemon drops... having those strong flavors somehow distracted me from thinking about it. I was completely done with the ms by 13 weeks. Also I wouldn't worry too much about stress hurting the baby... I deal with more the just emetophobia as far as my fears and stresses and was a horrible stressed out wreck my first pregnancy... despite me driving myself crazy with worry I had no problems with the pregnancy.

[Missy Chump]

Congratulations first of all and second, DONT WORRY! I had the same symptoms while i was pregnant with my daughter during my first trimester, I was dizzy and n. here and there but i never had the urge to v. and as soon as my second trimester hit BAM the bad feelings left RIGHT AWAY! I was sooooo nervous about getting pregnant because of those same fears but it was a blessing. I had a v. free pregnancy and Im sure you will too! Just follow the above eating gestures and you will be fine. Saltines will become your best friend! lol

[hairyfairy]

I have only been pregnant once, & I had no sickness with it.If I had I would most likely had had a termination!

[Amanda.S]

Thanks everyone! 4 weeks now and feeling great. Went to the doc and he says my levels are progressing perfectly. I feel as if im not even pregnant! i appreciate everyone sharing their stories with me.

[Amanda.S]

Hi ladies!

Little update for all. Im now 5 weeks 5 days pregnant. Morning sickness hit me hard starting middle of the night last night. Fought off the v* feeling for about 4 hours before breaking down and taking a zofran. Waking up this morning was okay. Didn't feel bad like the night before. ate a bagel and had some water. once the afternoon hit forget it. the n* started, the dizzy spells, the flip flopping of the tummy. i managed to eat a bit and kept it down but wow. As the hours moved on the sickness has gotten worse and worse. I cant smell anything. Cant eat. Can hardly sip water without gagging. Currently its the middle of the night and im still sick waking from sleep every few hours gagging. I am holding the v* as hard as i can but i want to let it out so bad to feel better.

please let me be honest without judgement. If i knew it was like this before i got pregnant, i would have done everything in my power to protect from pregnancy. I have considered termination already and have only been dealing with this for two days now. Everyone says it goes fast but i am truly suffering. the doctor gave me zofran. I took one around dinner time and within and hour i was in bed with a bucket next to me as it is not working! i was so excited to be a mommy but i just dont know how i am going to do this for the next 6 to 7 weeks.

Help!!

[HEH18]

I'm sorry to hear it hit, I've never been pregnant but am the last of my friends to not be, so I've gone through it with them and saw some of the things they did. My most recent friend had terrible nausea and v often, and found that water was not at ALL what worked to drink, it made her gag. She had to have soda, or carbonated drinks. So she compromised with unhealthy vs healthy and got carbonated cranberry juice. You could try some ginger ale perhaps, since the ginger is said to help a lot! She also did sour candies, lemon type stuff, ginger, and mint.

When are you taking your prenatal? A LOT of times it seems like the prenatal makes things exponentially worse. My friend experimented with different brands until she found one she could tolerate. On the worst days, she just skipped the day.

Are you taking B vitamins? I've heard good things about it helping with morning sickness! Also, I have heard GREAT things about Seabands. They're pressure point cloth bracelets that help with motion and morning sickness and the nausea that is from that. You can buy them at your local pharmacy

Have you been trying to eat every 2 hrs or so, just something small? I know blood sugar can also REALLY affect how sick you feel a LOT. At this point I'd say eat anything that sounds even remotely palatable, even if it's just salty crackers or something. I know my other friend also craved vinegary things, like pickles, said they helped her feel better.

Anyways.. I guess I asked this and mentioned things that have worked for friends of mine, because with this it seems there ARE things you can do to help the nausea. Unlike with sv or fp you have things you can try out to see how they help!!

One other thing- and this has been something every single one of my friends has said helps- DISTRACTION. Work to distract yourself as much as possible, in any way possible. They all said that when they were distracted, they didn't feel as sick, because they weren't focusing on that feeling!

Whoops.. just read up the thread lol. Prob should've done that before posting. I didn't realize most of this has been said! My apologies. I guess I just am in agreement with what other ladies have said then

[HEH18]

One final thought- it is thought, from what I understand, that morning sickness is a good sign! It means that your body is producing the right hormones to help your baby and placenta develop correctly. You have a little precious baby growing inside you, a baby that is a part of you and your boyfriend. ** This isn't in any way me trying to tell you not to terminate, it is absolutely your decision and I am not judging you at all!! ** But I know often in our phobic moments we forget everything but our fear and anxiety. So maybe looking at this as- you feeling this way is part of your body growing this beautiful life inside of you! It won't last, and the end result of this is you holding in your arms a child you and your sweetheart created, that you will love more than you can understand

I don't think that your nausea will remain this bad for the entire period of weeks, it seems with all of my friends that they'd have good days and bad days. If you can push through, you will not only be defeating your phobia by not letting it prevent you from living life the way you want to, but you will have an amazing final product I truly believe you can defeat this phobia. If Zofran isn't working, you can try asking your doc for any other meds, I know there are a few choices! I believe Phenergan, Compazine, and the over the counter med Emetrol are all safe for morning sickness. So if Zofran isn't working, don't give up!

One final thing, I've heard preggy pops are great for nausea, and that bitters are awesome for morning sickness too. You can usually find bitters at a health food store

Anyways, I hope that you have been able to fall back asleep, and that starting when you wake up, you can arm yourself with an arsenal of things to try and help ease the nausea!

[Amanda.S]

Thank you so much HEH18. I do have sea bands that i wear. I fear I did not properly educate and prepare myself for pregnancy. I continue to have an empty stomach which is making me much sicker. Throbbing migraine isnt helping. everything i look at is nauseating. i am getting preggy pops tomorrow. I would kill for a piece of candy right now.

I switched my prenatal the first few days. Im now on the gummys. I love them. But i haven't taken them today or yesterday due to the n*. i want to be healthy and i know once my little angel is here i will thank god i stuck it out, but holy moly do i want to give up.

This is rough!