Cancer

[awhite35]

My mom was just diagnosed with cancer and will probably have to undergo 6 months of chemo. I want to do all I can to help her, but I'm so scared I'm not going to be able to. My mom just busted out crying that I won't take care of her when she gets chemo because she'll be throwing up. I told her that wasn't true, but I'm so scared she's right. I wish this phobia wasn't so debilitating. On top of that, the stress from this news and another recent death in the family has had my stomach nauseous beyond belief. I just wish there was something I could do so I could be sure I could help my mom when she gets sick from chemo.

[Natiebear]

Oh you poor thing. My grandmother had cancer that made her v* nonstop and that was the only time I was not freaking out or grossed out by it. I stood there while she got sick and helped her. I felt bad for her and she needed my help so I think instinct kicks in and you just do what you have to. Just do as much as you can and try to be there in other ways if you can't handle the sickness part.

[AoD]

Oh no, sorry to hear that. I think you will be able to cope with her being sick, and depending on the type of treatment she might not even be sick that often. I had to deal with people vomiting from other causes than contagious diseases and it is much easier to deal with when you know you can't catch it and it is caused by something else. Instinct does kick in and it beats the fear. Just like Natiebear said, if you cannot cope with the vomiting that's alright, just try to be there for the rest and that will be enough. There are resources out there to help sick people, so perhaps you can get a nurse to come in and take care of your mom at home after her chemo treatments (when she'll be nauseous) so you don't have to deal with it yourself. Best of luck to you both through these difficult times.

[coolpk2003]

You can't catch Cancer from her throwing up or catch a virus from her throwing up if it's from the Chemo. I think you will do okay. On a positive note my grandma who passed away in July had cancer and she went through Chemo and never once threw up from it. They have such amazing anti nausea meds that they gave her through her IV's along with the Chemo that it never did make her sick. Even once they accidently gave her someone else's anti nausea meds that weren't a high enough dose for my grandmother and she still didn't get sick. There are so many medical advances today that a lot of times the chemo patients don't get sick. I hope your grandmother's cancer will be cured or at least treated so she can live a while. Best wishes.

[Cynna]

So sorry. There are such good meds for n... now. It is not like it had been in the past. You mom is prob scared and remembering stories from the 70's and 80's. Not everyone v... anymore.

I ran out on my mom in the hospital. I was 21. I wanted to help her but could not. There were hospital staff the could take care of her. Still wish I could change things. It was in 92. She had AML Leukemia.

There are so many other ways you can be there for her. Think of what you can do, not what you can't. Is there another family member or a friend that can help her if she gets sick? How about the Little Red Door? They can help out in different ways.

You may find that you will be able to overcome this phobia. You love for her may allow you to be there if she gets sick. Love can overcome some emet tendencies.


Hugs Prayers

[Grace47]

I am so sorry. I honestly don't know how I would deal with that situation. My cousin has cancer and has opted out of treatment even though at one point it was easily curable with a simple removal and stitches. I'm afraid of watching her v* or die. I can't be around her as much as I'd like, because of my fear. However, my situation is different, I know without a doubt my cousin is going to die. If she was going through chemo and making some attempt to live, I think it would be easier. Your mom is doing this so she can live. She's scared, too. It's okay for the both of you to be really scared right now.

We don't know how we'll face something until we get there. i thought I could not take care of my kids if they v* or clean up v*, but I am a hoverer to the point they find it annoying. I think you have the strength to deal with this.

[ewilkins]

Sorry to hear about your mom. As Cynna stated, there are a lot of drugs that now help patients fight nausea when undergoing chemo. My mother underwent chemo for breast cancer back in '92. Even then the anti-nausea drugs were starting to become pretty good. My mother suffered nausea, but no vomiting when she went through chemo. I think it depends on the patient, the type of cancer and the type of chemo.

And to add...I think Zofran was originally created to treat chemo patients.

[crazymama]

I have really bad emet, but managed to care for my dear father in law through his cancer including the n and v he got great comfort from me being there with him and that helped me get through it, it isnt easy but you will cope, my darling mum has lung cancer right now and no treatment is possible just pallitive care, so cherish you mum and i hope she gets through this and enjoys lots and lots more years, my thoughts are with you all, take care xxxx

[NaiveAndTrue]

I bet when the situation actually happens you will be fine! You'll most likely be so overwhelmed with concern for your mom that making her feel better will outweigh all of your anxieties. We build a lot up in our heads because of the anxiety, but when things happen it's never as bad as we anticipate. Just take slow deep breaths and remember any v*ing she will have will NOT BE CONTAGIOUS. They also have a lot better medicines now and it's much less hard on patients' tummies.
You'll get through it, and you'll come out stronger on the other side. (And so will your mother The exposure will only help you. When I first started taking Orthodontic impressions, I would shake like a leaf for an hour if someone even gagged. Now, if a patient v*'s I'm a pro. I can hold buckets, papertowels, hug them through it. . . and I'm steady as a rock. You'll be wonderful!

[NaiveAndTrue]

And if it helps, I went through it with my dad. On our way to one of his radiation treatments he v*ed in the car behind me, and it was all down my back. ALL I cared about was why he was so sick (meningitis) and helping him feel better. I spent the whole day in the hospital w/ it in my hair (The driver took me home to change my shirt at least), and I couldn't eat oranges for a few years, but it's completely different when it's happening than what's in your head.

[JellyBn83]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am currently going through this myself. My mother had a mastectomy in August and has been having chemo every week since October. She only has one more week of it and then off to radiation.

But I will tell you one thing, the nurses and docs don't WANT their patients to get sick. They will do everything they can to make sure that doesn't happen. And my mom had some nasty stuff, but only felt iffy twice where she needed to take her anti-emetics. We are in the US and I am not sure where you are located, but there are A LOT of great/wonderful things that they will give. If they don't work then they will try something else.

My mom knows my issue and with me working second shift and all of my family working 1st, I was the one she called.

With the one thing about my mom's chemo, she felt ok until about day 3-5 and that is when she felt ill. But she had those great meds and it went away.

Please let me know if you need to talk!!