Hi guys,
I'm Meg, and I'm brand new to this marvellous site. I'm Australian, 22, married, and have been ridiculously afraid of v* (i love how we can censor that word here!) since i can remember (sadly, it is one of my earliest memories :O) ain't that dumb?).
Anyhoo, I thought after reading your posts, that I would like to write in for a few reasons: first to say that, like you all, I almost died of releif to discover that you are all out there, with this very real condition, and am not a freak! even though sometimes I feel like one. Also, I think its important to fight this thing not give into it and the best way to do that is to be able to share experiences, and perhaps humour. And also - I know you'll love this - to say that there is hope! because I am committed to recovering from this thing that has been defining my life up until now. So I thought I would list some of my experiences (things I will never tell most people who just wouldnt get it!) and see if anyone out there goes "I SOOOO know what you mean!". So here goes: My life as an emet, in dot points. Here's hoping you can relate, and maybe we can laugh at this stuff together :O)
* When I was little, I couldn't bring myself to say or hear any word that meant sick, because I beleived that it would have to 'come true' and would make me sick.
* Refused to use the toilet at school, because there was only one cubicle, so if someone came in sick... well...
* My younger sister was one of the few people who actually cottoned on to my phobia for what it was, and so when she wanted to blackmail me, she did so by threatening to pour Ipecac syrup in my drink when I wasn't watching!!! the little witch! It worked every time!
* Long car trip = painful death
*stayed out of the house until dark and frozen when anyone complained of feeling ill, when my sister had tonsilitis, i climbed a tree and refused to come down!
* would rather have had detention everyday than sit through a school assembly - felt trapped and panicky whenever I had to.
* firmly believed that lettuce was the only safe food.
*went to hospital once and had an allergic reaction to morphine - made me nauseous, and I got dehydrated. Doctor told me that if i didn't drink 10ml of water i was going to get a drip, and I offered to put the drip in myself rather than drink the water!! there was no way it was coming back up!
* i have nightmares about bus trips on windy roads :O)
* I work (bravely) in a school, and have been known to send kids out of the classroom just because I thought they looked slightly pale, or were acting funny (even though they loudly protested that they weren't feeling sick! I said go outside anyway!)
*it took me 6 years before i could watch my dad drink a beer without thinking "hes going to get sick!"
*the kids on the school bus thought i was awful because our bus driver used to bring food on the bus for a party once a year, and i wouldn't sit anywhere near them if they were eating.
* i've gotten it into my head that you can "freeze away" nausea, so whenever i feel the slightest bit sick, i turn on fans, air con, take off my clothes, get icepacks, and lie on the tiles. perfectly normal, huh? my hubby doesn't know what to think of that one! he normally puts a stop to it when i turn blue and shiver uncontrollably! (hubby is brilliant, by the way, and very supportive - he 'gets' it!)
* I am totally jealous of people with 'normal' fears, like heights, snakes and spiders!! i wish that i was afraid of spiders, not v*!!
*throw out the milk two days before the use by. mad husband better than food poisoning!
* i have been known to cook a piece of chicken for over 50 mins!! just to be sure!
All this stuff is funny, but true. However, you should know - I am learning to fight this, to take it as it comes, learning to recognise when i'm having a panic attack and try to breathe through it. Its alot for me to say this, cause i thought I'd never get better. Howev
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