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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    California, USA
    Posts
    742

    Default I just can't cope

    I really feel like I'm going crazy. I went to see my doctor yesterday and he switched my meds from Remeron to Celexa. I went to the pharmacy twice yesterday and each time I went I was told it'll be an hour and a half wait. I don't know if its gonna help, nothing seems to help except for taking too much to just make me pass out.

    It got worse last night when my husband texted me that the guy he works with has been V all day and his whole family has it. I try to calm myself down and think maybe it was FP, although I really doubt it. So to help myself I disinfected my house eventhough it wasn't even near my house. But I'm scared my husband is gonna get it because he gets sick just by someone saying their sick. And I'm scared he's gonna bring it in the house. He's not suppose to come home but he does anyway sometimes. He's suppose to stay at his location for the full 2 weeks but he's like 45 minutes to the house so he'll come home sometimes. I just hope he doesn't come home to be sick. It's all I can think about. It's ruining me. I wish I could be like most people and not care. But I'm not like that. I terrified to get sick and even more I'm terrified to see my kids be sick. I wish I could go hide away somewhere.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Midwest USA
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    I'm going to encourage you the best way I know how. Because I know how you're feeling. In the Bible 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him (God) because he cares for you." I'll be praying for you as you are struggling.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    UK, Northamptonshire.
    Posts
    612

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Oh, you poor soul! You're a very brave and strong Mum! It's crazy, but I refuse to be in a relationship because of my emetophobia. It's that bad. Even if your husband does get it, doesn't mean that you will! If you take the proper precautions you will be fine, I promise you. But, I don't think it will come to that anyway. You're definitely not crazy at all. Everyone else with this horrid phobia is the exact same as you. Have you got anything to do to distract yourself to take your mind away from it? I find that having a warm bath helps me to relax and I have some hot chocolate afterwards. Or I watch some funny comedy films.

    I'm having an extremely hard time at the moment too, and I'm extremely close to giving up all together, so believe me when I say I know EXACTLY how you feel.

    BIG hugs to you bakogirl.
    Virtue - "You don't need a reason to help people"


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    California, USA
    Posts
    742

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Thanks. I need that. I'm stuck in bed because of my anxiety plus period. I have a horrible headache. Probably from stress and smelling too much bleach last night. I promised my kids, and I'm trying my hardest to not break my promise. But as this day goes on I feel worse thinking my husband will come home tonight and infect this house. I feel like such a failure at a mom and wife. All I want to do is lay here and cry until this week passes. If anybody asked me what hell is I'd say living with emetophobia. I wish I had a different fear. A fear of something I could avoid. I could avoid bugs, I could avoid heights, I could avoid pretty much anything but viruses. They are everywhere and it's not going to stop because not everyone cares about it. So those who don't care go out sick and spread their germs and take their kids out to spread germs. I've resorted to staying in as much as I can and I haven't been taking my kids with me so they won't touch stuff. I never put my little one in the cart. My life is ruined by me. I'm the cause of my misery and I can't avoid it. I wish I had never been born. I'm so depressed.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Tustin CA
    Posts
    25

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    You poor thing I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was so scared my entire pregnancy for fear that I would get morning sickness and be forced to v. but it never happened thankfully. Now my daughter is almost 3 and I have to think about putting her into preschool where she is going to be exposed to all kinds of germs and i am scared to death of her getting the flu and being too afraid to take care of her. Luckily my husband is great with helping me and my phobia and is very supportive. YOUR NOT ALONE! Just last night I woke up in the middle of the night and right away I thought I was going to v. just because it is in my head 247. I had a severe panic attack and I couldn't calm down for 2 hours, even after I had taken my anti anxiety meds. But don't worry, it could be fp or if it is the flu and he comes home there is a good chance your immune system will fight it off. Try taking high doses of vitamin C to help boost it. Good Luck!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Midwest USA
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Now now, don't go down that path. I went that way and it's not pretty. You are a blessing to your kids and you are a mother who has an issue, just like everybody else in this world has something they can't deal with. I promise you things do get better. I'm a dad of a 2 year old and i never thought I could handle them being sick, but I have. I've handled her v* in my lap and while we're playing, and yes it's scary as all get out but you just have to let your parental instincts kick in. And trust me, I'm insanely emet.. ever since I was 5, (29 now). Its tough but it does get better. I found a great counselor awhile back who did some EMDR with me and while I can't afford to continue going, the few times I was there helped and there are some coping mechanisms I learned. Just have to be strong and know that we are stronger than this stupid fear. I know you'll be fine!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    479

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Tell him to keep up on hygiene to avoid it but if he does get it (onset is 24hrs), also ask if he gets sick then please don't bring it home is its likely you will all get it and it can be dangerous in children.
    It would best if he could help limit it by not coming home.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    598

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Aw hun I know A LOT how you feel. I may only be a teenager, but I'm terrified by the thought of even having kids, because of morning sickness. I wont have to worry about it for another 10 or 15 years but it makes me so anxious. You are so strong for being able to even raise a child. Lots of women with this phobia wont even have sex because they are so worried about being pregnant. You did not ask for this phobia, and I know you could erase it if it was possible, so you did not ruin your own life. You aren't alone, I wish I could leave the house all the time and not worry about getting sick or seeing somebody get sick, but I might resort to just isolating myself, at least until flu season is over. You aren't a failure, you aren't alone, and it will get better. Hugs! Stay strong.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Midwest USA
    Posts
    2,933

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Hon if it gets to bad, go to the hospital. It may take a little time for the med change to take effect. Hopefully you will start feeling better soon. Prayers. HUGS

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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    California, USA
    Posts
    742

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    I have dealt with it it too. I'm 31 I have 3 boys. And it's easy to tell the older ones to keep washing their hands but its difficult with the 2 yo. I've had this fear as long as I can remember but it didnt affect me as bad until I had kids. I've spent many sleepless nights with a sick child. I know my instincts kick in and care for them but it doesn't help. I hate when they are sick and they look at you and asking you to make it stop or asking for medicine to make it stop but you're helpless and the fear paralyzes you. You know you can't make it stop and you know doctors can't help. So it makes me feel useless. And I feel like a terrible mother when I have to run to another room rather than comfort. It hasn't even happened yet and I don't know if it will but its already controlling me fearing my husband. I can't help but pretty much hate myself. I'm no good for anyone. I'm a walking time bomb. I'm just in bed scared and crying. Plus my period has me down. I'm trying my hardest to feel better so I don't break the promise to my kids.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    598

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Like you said, sometimes things are uncontrollable. If your kids are sick, and they already took medicine, only time will help them heal. That doesn't make you useless in the slightest. periods always get everybody down, and can make you more emotional and depressed than you'd be normally. You aren't useless, weird, stupid, or any of those things. You are like everybody else here, just trying to go about their daily lives with this traumatizing fear. Keep holding on until your new medication kicks in. Talk to a therapist if you feel you need to. Talk to your husband about how you feel, and I'm sure he will cheer you up. He is your husband after all, and he loves you. Your kids love you, and they don't want to see you upset. You can get through this, I'm sure of it

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Midwest USA
    Posts
    2,933

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Please contact your doctor asap and tell them how you are feeling.

    You are not a time bomb. You should not hate yourself. Please hang on. Your children need you.

    Moms can only do so much. We are awesome, but not superheros. We can not take someone's pain away or make them stop v... all the time. We can only gives meds and get them medical help. We are not healers. I wish I could have made my son better so many times when his body was fighting for life in the NICU. I could just pray for him and and get him the medical help he needed. I held his hand when I could, but I could not be there 24/7. He is much better now.

    So you can't comfort well when someone is v... Do you realize how little of person's life is spent v...? You are talking about a blip in someone's lifetime. What matters most is the stuff that you day everyday to take care of them, feed them, hug them, comfort them, and tell them that you love them. This is so much you do for your kids everyday that you do not give yourself credit for. This is the stuff that shapes them into the person they will become.

    In our emets minds, v... is a huge deal. To most people, it is not a big deal. We make it so much bigger in our heads.

    Please do not cry. You are worth it. You are a good person battling a nasty phobia. HUGE HUGS and PRAYERS.

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  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    California, USA
    Posts
    742

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    Thanks you all. Your support means the world to me. Especially when I have no where to turn. Cynna your post made me cry more. My hormones are also crazy today. I do love my kids they mean the world to me which is why I medicated myself so I could bring my kids to the skate park. I just wish I could handle this better.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Midwest USA
    Posts
    2,933

    Default Re: I just can't cope

    You will get there. You will get to the point where you kick emets a....

    I made a rant post the other day due to stuff in my life. My cycle was making everything worse.

    Hugs

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