On saturday night my uncle went out to get a lottery ticket and a bit of shopping and never came back. He was gone for an hour so my aunty drove the to the supermarket that he had gone to, couldn't see him, checked his car and saw that there was no shopping so she thought he met have met someone he knew an gone to the pub. After another hour she rang my cousin Natalie who lives in Brighton (we live in staffordshire) and asked her if she was worrying over nothing. Natalie said no and that she would try the local hospitals. She tried one and felt silly because he had not been there, tried another one and they that yes he had been bought in but there was nothing they could do and he was dead. She then had to phone my aunty and ring her then travel from brighton to stafffordshire contending with all the traffic from live 8. He was only 53 and it is such a shock. Some friends went to ask in the supermarket what exactly happened to help piece things together. They said he was at the deli ordering some meat and he just clutched his chest and dropped down. The coroners report came back today and he had a blood clot in his heart. How scary to the shop and just drop dead. He had been to the well man clinic 2 weeks before and everything was fine.

My Mum only spoke to last Thursday to see if my 2 cousins are coming to the evening reception of my wedding and he said that they were all looking forward to it and couldn't wait. We are a close family but don't all get together very often. My auntycan't stop crying and my cousins have now got so much tom go through without their dad. It's just awful.

My Mum is in a terrible state and I hate seeing her like this. I have been in a terrible state for a few months now with coming off my tablets and wedding nerves and she has been really worrying about me. I really don't want to add to her problems but I feel like I am falling apart and I don't know what to do. I just think the world is a horrible place.