Just curious

[tinklover520]

Hello!
My name is Kelly and I'm a sophomore in college studying Psychology. I know someone who is emetophobic and I've heard about the amount of anxiety she endures while leaving her house. Though I am not emetophobic I found this site and I'm really curious about this phobia. It seems as though it destroys her life and she can barely do anything. Do any of you get anxiety while leaving the house and do you have a specific event or feeling that triggered this phobia? I'm really curious about phobias so my intention is not to offend anyone. If you would love to tell me about your phobia I would be more than happy to try and understand! Thank you so much and I hope you have a great day!

[Ana Bellini]

Hello Kelly! That's very nice of you! I'm a little different from most emetophobics but here's what I can tell you. First, I apologize if what I'm saying isn't true for some of us:

We have problems leaving our houses because when we are out, we are exposed to many kinds of virus that may lead us to vomit. That make us wash our hands nonstop to the point where some of us bleed. When someone is sick, we freak out. We bleach everything and, when we can, we avoid the sick person. Some women here fear having children because of morning sickness that comes with pregnancy, even when most of us don't vomit from it.

The bad thing about fearing vomit is that it's not something we can avoid, like spiders; if you fear spiders, you don't go where there's spiders. That doesn't happen with vomit. Vomit may be everywhere, and we cannot control it. If you fear spiders and see one, you turn your back and run. If you are going to vomit, you swallow a thousand anti emetics and pray, because there's nothing else you can do. If you have to vomit, you will vomit.

Some of us fear the word vomit, puke, etc. I'm ok with reading it and saying it, but I can't write it in Portuguese, my mother tongue, because in my mind if I write it down, it's going to happen. That's why we use abbreviations here such as v*, fp*, sv* and d*.

Food: That's a weakness for me. I only eat two things: Pasta and french fries, they are my safe foods. I'm trying to try new ones, but I fear that if I try something new and I don't like it, I'll vomit from it. Some of us are/were anorexic because we feared eating and vomiting.

My emetophobia is much better now than it was six months ago, where I missed school almost every day because I really couldn't leave the house. What if I vomited outside? I wouldn't have my parents to protect me and everyone would remember me as the girl who vomited. It would make me weak, because I wasn't able to control it. Now, I feel nauseous when there are situations where I don't know what's going to happen - i.e. the new school I'm starting in two weeks. School was always a weak spot - as much as it would distract me, it was also something new every day. Add it to stupid boys talking about stupid things and I would die every day before going there.

Example? I just left my parents' bedroom because my dog was making v* sounds. I checked and she's not vomiting, but only the sounds made me get out of there. Most of us don't fear animal vomit, but I do. I don't care if it comes from an animal, it's vomit the same way.

Let me get some useful links if you are interested:
Emet Q & A: http://www.emetophobia.org/showthrea...phobia-Q-amp-A
Emet Guide: http://emetophobiarecovery.com/emetophobia-guide/
Emet FAQ: http://emetophobia.byethost15.com/emetophobia.html

If you'd like to know anything else, PM me and I'll be glad to answer!

[tinklover520]

Ana,
Thank you for giving me a better understanding of this phobia. School is definitely a reasonable place to be afraid of catching something in. People really are afraid of having children because of morning sickness?

[Cynna]

Hi. I am a rarer member from this site. I fear others v... I only have mild anxiety when I do it myself. I do not do anything other than pop tums or something when I am sick like everyone else.

My fear came from stomach surgery as a baby and/or my sister v... from the top bunk and trapping me below. I get the whole flight or fight fear when I see it.

Most of the time there is some sort of trauma during childhood that causes this. Some have seen people very ill with cancer, some have alcoholic parents, some have been abused, some just had an experience where they v... and got scolded, some had someone v.. near them or on them that scared them.

Some fear v.. themselves in public.

Emet can be fear of v.. yourself, fear of seeing others v..., fear of v.. in public, or any combo.

Some have agrophobia, OCD, and some sort of eating disorder in addition to emet. The eating disorder is not about being fat, it is about afraid to eat for fear of getting sick.

Most of us have paralyzing anxiety attacks surrounding v.. Some get bothered by seeing the word, seeing it in movies, etc. It can affect you choice of career, your decision to have children, your social life (some do not drink since v... is a possibility when drunk or seeing others v...), and every other aspect of life.

Denise Richards and other celebrities have it also.

[tinklover520]

Cynna,
being traumatized is completely understandable and I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's sad to think that people restrict themselves from doing things because they may potentially v*. How is seeing the word or seeing it in a movie a bad thing if people won't catch it that way?

[jadeshine]

This phobia is not "just not liking to v*." It is revolving your entire life around avoiding it. One of my biggest problems with the phobia is the money I spend on avoiding it. I spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars every month buying soap, paper towels, hand sanitizer (special ordered online-claims to kill noro) Lysol, bleach, immune enhancing supplements, etc. I even switched to all disposable eating utensils, bowls, plates, etc. in fear of my dishwasher being contaminated. Some emets will constantly google things like, "noro in my area" "how to prevent noro." There is never a five minute period of time where v* doesn't cross my mind. Mine has turned into OCD and disordered eating. I fear a certain letter than "throwing up" starts with and when I see it (which is a lot because I drive on a Tollway every day that marks each toll with the letter I fear-I see it 30+ times on a commute) I have to make seven X's with my hands/arms because an X cancels it. I am also scared of the numbers between 21 and 24 because I was s* on those days one time. I also have to do the X ritual when I see those numbers. I have to do that ritual just thinking about it, hearing about it, seeing that letter in cracks in the road, twigs shaping into that letter (I have stopped walking before to break a twig that was shaped like it.) I have to do it 28 times before I pull into my apartment complex. It takes over a lot of what I do. I also think about what I eat before I eat it and think about what it would look like if I v*ed it and will not eat it if the thought grosses me out too much. The worst part to me about my phobia is the fact that I developed depersonalization disorder (feels like you're detached from the world and dreaming) about two years ago. The night before I last got s* eight years ago I got very depersonalized for the first time in my life and just had a feeling that I was going to be s* that night, almost like I predicted it, and every night when I get depersonalized I convince myself that it's the same situation, and if I have a feeling I'll be s* it will actually happen. But that's another thing with emets, we ALWAYS convince ourselves we are going to be s*. We mistake gas, heartburn, acid reflux, hunger, etc. with nausea and it sends us into panic. If you look back through posts on here a very recurrent theme is people saying, "THIS IS IT, I KNOW I'M GOING TO BE S*" and sure enough, it never happens. It's a very complex phobia, and it's hard to understand unless you have it, but I hope you get some good descriptions here and I think it's great that you're learning about it for your friend. Let me know if you have any questions.

[tinklover520]

Jadeshine,
Although I certainly do not experience what you go through it's sounds unbearable! I guess for some reason people without emetophobia don't fear v*. I'm not bragging about myself in any means but I certainly do not wake up expecting to be sick everyday and the thought rarely if ever crosses my mind. It's just amazing to put yourself in other peoples shoes and see life from their perspective. I'm sure most people you encounter don't expect you to feel this way or feel as though you are being dramatic. For most people v*ing is nothing to worry about. If you actually do get sick then your life goes on. When I was younger I actually was traumatized from being sick but I just became extremely germaphobic to the point where my knuckles bled because I kept washing my hands. At the time I was about 7 so all of my peers made fun of me but I just feared being sick and I was angry whenever someone was sick around me. I guess I can relate to emetophobics in that aspect, but I did not specifically fear v*. Do you feel like you could die if you v* or are you just extremely afraid of public humiliation?

[Cynna]

That is just it. A word typed or seeing it in a movie can bring back that irrational fear. Most realize on some level that they can't die from seeing v or v... themselves, but the fear hits us so fast and so hard that we feel like we are going to die. It is like every nerve ending in your body is at attention. You loose the ability to think straight, you cry, you shake, you have a sort of breakdown. Many will run over people to get away from it. The problem with the ones afraid to v.. themselves is that they cannot escape their tummy. There is no where to run for them.

Exposure therapy does not work for everyone and some get ptsd from it. It is not an easy fix.

[jadeshine]

Yeah, I don't feel like I'm going to die if I v*. Some people say that would rather die than v* and I feel like that too sometimes. I'm not scared of being humiliated or anything, I think it's just the pain and nausea and anticipation that I'm scared of. I don't know 100% to be honest.

[tinklover520]

I understand completely. Thank you guys so much for sharing your experiences with me. I really like to open myself up to these problems and see what it is like from another perspective. I also really love to help people as much as I can so it's good that I know what it is like for some people. Majority of people do not care about v* and even find it funny at times so to see the opposite side is helpful. I'm actually taking an abnormal psych class and one of the question on my test is that alcohol problems and phobic disorders are the most common problems in the U.S. Could you or do you remember a time when you weren't even bothered by this phobia and never thought of it as something scary?

[NaiveAndTrue]

I wasn't scared at all as a kid. My Emet developed in middle school, when I started having generalized panic attacks. Nausea is one of my symptoms. I think my brain couldn't get over being SO SCARED over nothing, so I became scared of throwing up. I will fight it with EVERYTHING I have - swallow a lot, take anti-emetics, etc. Although I haven't actually thrown up in 20 years (I have gotten as close as gagging 3 or 4 times), I think about it at least once a day. I'm definitely more recovered that a lot of people on here. My phobia has shrunk down to just ME throwing up, and people that have something contagious. I attribute that to first working in daycare with babies (Got me over spit-up right quick! lol) and my current job in an orthodontic office. I do records so it's basically my responsibility to take 90% of the impressions. When I first started, if a patient just gagged I would shake for an hour. Now patients can vomit (although it doesn't happen often, I'm that good! The few times it has happened, it's been little kids), I can keep holding the tray, hold a paper towel or trashcan for them, talk them through it, and be fine. I actually get a little jealous, because most of the time the kids are fine with it, and if it were me puking on a stranger I'd be mortified. I'm not afraid of dying - it's the actual feeling of the food coming back up that terrifies me. Wish I knew why, and wish it didn't rule my life, but it does. I don't avoid much, mostly food combinations, rollercoasters and alcohol.

[tinklover520]

Naiveandtrue,
That's great that you are a lot better! It seems as though you are just cautious about catching something which is completely reasonable. Nobody particularly wants to be around or see v* but it's great that you can handle it now and keep kids calm! Thanks for sharing!

[Amanda Pomerenke]

Hi, I think it's great you want to become a psychologist, when I get older I want to become one as well

I developed this phobia in 2nd grade(I'm in 10th now). It started when I threw up in front of my class. Even though to most people that's a trivial thing, to me it was horrible, and it traumatized me. For me, this phobia isn't about humiliation. I don't care if I'm surrounded by people, or all by myself, throwing up is throwing up. For me, it's about control and feeling trapped. For example, if you're scared of planes, don't go on one. If you're scared of dogs, avoid them. You can't avoid throwing up. Whether we like it or not, everybody does it; it's a natural bodily function. And really, all we can do when we feel sick is take anti-emetics. If those don't work, we can't just not throw up. Sometimes, it's unavoidable and necessary. I'm also scared of seeing other people throw up because again, lack of control. Even if I can't catch whatever is wrong with them, like if they are just drunk or have morning sickness, I can't stop them from vomiting. And I feel trapped, being scared of vomiting is like being scared of your own body. You can't run away from yourself. It's a never ending loop of panic. Me personally, I can read and say the words vomit, I can SOMETIMES see it in movies(other times when I can't, it usually just has to do with it being really gross). I don't avoid much, the only thing I avoid is being in particular situations where people can get sick, like in a restaurant, a doctors office, or a party where alcohol is involved. I get panic attacks when exposed to people throwing up, even if I can't catch it. I practice very good hygiene, but I'm not obsessive about it. I only have obsessive thoughts. Every time I have a stomach pain, I have to rule out something that can make me sick. Like I try to figure out if maybe I'm hungry, if I'm starting my period soon, if I'm anxious, etc. Even then, it usually still makes me panic. I'm a lot better now though. When I was just a little kid, I had it BAD. I had agoraphobia, I was only 8 years old unable to leave my house. I couldn't even hear people say the word vomit without having a panic attack. I would run out of the room if I even saw it on TV. I rarely went to school between 3rd and 8th grade. I would miss 2 or 3 days a school a week, which caused me to fall behind in school. I was smart, but I couldn't catch up because I was never there. If somebody said the felt sick, I would go home early. I would wash my hands to the point they were wrinkled and scabby. That went away mostly around 8th grade, but I still have it fairly bad. I am pretty sure I have anorexia due to this phobia though. When I was little, I would go days without eating. Sometimes just taking one bite of something made me have a panic attack. I would faint a lot, and I was extremely underweight. Now, I'm only 10 pounds underweight, and I do eat everyday, but not much. Like other people stated, it isn't a weight thing. I realize I'm tiny, and I REALLY want to gain weight, and I honestly love food, but sometimes I get so anxious when eating I just figure I might as well not even try. Therefore, I only consume about 700-1000 calories a day usually, maybe a little more depending on if I'm having a good day. I eat maybe one or two actual meals, which are usually something small like a few chicken nuggets or a pork chop, then the rest is all junk food. The reason a lot of the things I eat is junk food is because junk food doesn't fill you up as much. I feel more safe when I have an empty stomach, the thought of having a full stomach makes me so scared.

Bottom line, this phobia is complicated. It's also serious. A lot of people here also have depression, OCD, anorexia, or some anxiety disorder.

[tinklover520]

Thank you Amanda for sharing! It's really strange to think that something like this can control someone's life. I am definitely starting to realize how not being able to control something is scary. Many people fear death because they can't see it and they don't know when it's going to happen. The unknown is what majority of people are afraid of and it could be in any aspect. Something such as fear of v* or even a fear of a spider because you don't know what the spider is going to do to you. If this fear happens to destroy your well-being then that's where it becomes a severe issue. I really hope that you eat the proper amount and not starve yourself because of something like this. If people don't take care of their body properly and give themselves the right amount of nourishment then they can actually become unhealthy and weaken their immune system. Being 10 pounds underweight isn't bad but if it gets worse I really encourage you to get help. I certainly don't want anybody putting their health on the line for a phobia.

[Amanda Pomerenke]

Thanks Recently my obsessive thoughts have been getting a bit worse, so I'm going to talk to my therapist about it later. I also do this gradual exposure thing, there is this website with pictures and videos of people vomiting and it helps you get used to seeing other people do it, so you don't get as anxious. It really does help

[AoD]

Keep in mind that for some people emet is strictly fear of vomiting with no OCD or anxiety disorders. This means it doesn't bother them at all in daily life unless they are somehow exposed to it (someone vomits nearby) or they start feeling ill and THEN worry that they'll vomit from that, and they can otherwise forget about the phobia.

[tinklover520]

That's great Amanda! And thank you AoD, that is true but I feel like that's almost just a normal response for everyone. If someone sees someone get sick or feel sick they don't want to have that happen to them so they get scared. It's an understandable fear in that sense. Do you get what I'm saying?

[AoD]

That's great Amanda! And thank you AoD, that is true but I feel like that's almost just a normal response for everyone. If someone sees someone get sick or feel sick they don't want to have that happen to them so they get scared. It's an understandable fear in that sense. Do you get what I'm saying?

Yes, but most people when someone is sick will find it unpleasant but can still deal with it. Emets who are otherwise normal react abnormally to vomiting, by having a panic attack and irrational fear instead of just finding it gross. As in, an emet whose child is sick will not be able to take care of that child without having a mental breakdown, whereas a normal person will be grossed out and will still take care of the child without going nearly crazy about the vomiting itself. So for those who are pure emet with no associated disorders, it's kinda like the fear of spiders. There's no OCD, but the fear response is greatly exaggerated, beyond what most people would consider normal. So it's "extreme fear" versus "bothered and grossed out".

[emet-ana]

Hi Tinklover520,

I have emetophobia and severe OCD (different variants, including contamination fears from the emetophobia).

When I was young my little brother had a syndrome (well still does but) that used to make him choke a lot, go grey and need medical help- it was terrifying. I think vomiting is quite close to choking. Then my uncle (who was severely disabled and young so more like a brother) used to vomit blood and have seizures before he died (aged 30). Also I had some nasty bugs when my Mum was in hospital which meant I coudn't visit her so I perhaps associated being sick with being away from my Mum/unsafe.

At the moment I barely leave my house and my phobia was a huge problem when sharing a flat/apartment and at university.

Out of interest- how do you feel about sickness? have you had norovirus?

[tinklover520]

Thank you AoD for clearing that up!

[hairyfairy]

I`m definately a control freak where my body is concerned, & I refuse to believe that vting is sometimes unavoidable. I`m determined to never do it again for as long as I live, & will do anything to prevent it.