Horrid Evening - GRAPHIC

[ejb199]

ok ill let you know when im gonna get graphic - sorry but i gotta explain and need ur help...

so last ight - lovely sunny day, decide to do a bbq with jon. all ok and i have some home made chicken kebabs and one quorn burge, salad and potatoe salad. jon has same as me except instead of quorn he has 3 burgers! before we ate i was a little nervous and told jon. then after i had IBS pains and went to the loo. we played cards and i calmed down. then we decided to watch a film and i got all worried again. then i had d*....

GETS GRAPHIC FROM NOW ON........





so i really start freaking out and Jon ccontinues to watch he film coz i told him too. but i feel soooo sure that im gonna be sick - like i did a few weeks ago and last xmas when i retched twice in the garden.

i dont know abt u guys - but when i REALLY REALLY think i feel sick, my arms and hands fel kinda tingly and sore - on the skin - whats that abt?

so from about 8.30 till 10.30 i made myself retch abt 8-10 times. i felt soooo awful that i just wanted it over with. i stuck my fingers down my throat aech time and rtched - it was awful coz it really really hurt. and jon kept telling me that this is because my body didnt need to be sick and me trying to make it sick wld make it worse. he thinks i was having a major panic and making myself feel so sick.

so the dilema - i went thro the motions so many times ans it was horrid but ok (only once did something - i think bile come up - had my eyes closed nd tap running) - Jon thinks i was in such a bad panic attack that i was making myself feel so awful and making myself feel sick - at no time did my body retch without me helping it....

and now the next dilemma - i have to go away with work this eve and mon eve to Birmingham and stay in a room with my frienc - whos lovely and knows abt this.and i have to present to the company - now im just scared abt it...

and the next ting - i took an anti emet pill - Stemetil (US name Compazine- so did that make nothing come up as such...see my next post on this)

sorry for long post - im just so scared...

ems xx

[hippychick]

Hey honey.


From what you describe it sounds to me like your body didn't actually need to be sick. If it had have done then it would have. You say you felt sick, is there any chance your brain just took over and you panicked making it worse? You felt sick right? But the anti emetic kicked in and stopped you being sick, but because you felt bad you made yourself retch. Thats what I don't get. I think maybe your panic got out of control honey, though obviously I don't know anything for sure. I'm sorry you went through all this.


xxxxxxx

[fliss]

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Hi ems,


So sorry to hear about your night. But what I can say is I know exactly how you are feeling. I too, get these horrible nights when I am SO convinced I will get s* that i actually start retching. I don't know about you but I NEVER used to get these they have only started recently [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img].


I also understand about putting your fingers down you throat as I have often thought about doing that. However, when im actually being s* it doesnt feel that bad! Your arms and hands will feel tingly if you're panicking as when you hyper-ventilate the blood flow is restricted to your extremities. This happens to me ALL the time, so much that I lose total use of my arms and legs!


I had one of these experiences last Friday so i totally sympathise with you. I retched twice but nothing came up, hope you are feeling better. I think it's all about trying to relax when you get yourself in a panic like that [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img].


Felicityx </TD></TR>
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[Galadriel]

Hey Em,


Sorry you had such a rough nite. I agree with the others that you prolly really got into a major panic, because if your body needed to be sick it would have on its own. I've had a few of those times where I gagged (is this what you mean by retch?) but nothing happened other than that. I also get an odd feeling when I'm panicking hardcore, like I get passy-outy feeling. I think this can also cause the tingly feeling too. I'm sorry it was so awful for you.

[SimplyMe]

I hope you are feeling better now. I'm truly sorry you went thru that. I agree that it sounds like panic, especially the tingly stuff. Like the others said also it doens't sound like your body needed to be sick, especially if you only retched when you helped it along. Maybe your IBS and earler concerns set in and just made you feel worse and worse and convinced you that you would be sick? In any event your work trip will be fine. It's good you are rooming w/ your friend who understands. Maybe you could make it mroe like a slumber party and have too much fun to worry? Bring your compazine as a "security blanket" so that you know you have it should you feel sick again (real or panic induced) and as for your presentation you will do fine. The worse part is the anticipation of it. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

[ejb199]

Hey all,

thanks for ur replies and advice/support - u are right - i think if i was really sick, i would have just been sick. when i look back to that night i just cant believe what i put myself thro. its crazy. i seriously have to try and calm down in these situations. the thing is tho if i think i feel sick - i kinda just want to get it over with - so i try and make myself sick.

And now i think - well am i really afraid so much of being sick if i can make myself retch (gag) abt 10 times? i know nothing came out but if it had then i wld have been relieved. oh i dont know. im still scared...

i went to the work thing and it was really good. im so pleased i went. i ate some food and slept ok. no major panics. and i had my own room which was lush!! and my presentation went really well! so it was fine and i was happy.

ems x