OT: I need some help with something

[Amanda Pomerenke]

Okay, this has nothing to do with emet, but a lot of you here are very wise and might be able to give me a bit of advice. Okay, in November of 2011 I became home schooled due to serious depression and bullying. The depression got worse when I became home schooled because I was always alone, I had no friends, and I never left my room. It's getting better now, but my therapist wants me back in school. Specifically, that school. I don't think I'm going to get bullied again, I saw them at the home coming dance they had at the school and they said hi to me like nothing ever happened, and I'm better at sticking up for myself. But I think I'll still feel alone and isolated at that school. I'm an outcast there, and I'll feel like a freak. I can't go to another school in the area because they are either all filled up for the school year, or they are REALLY violent. (I live in Milwaukee, which is a city in Wisconsin filled with crime, the schools always have shootings and rape, and all that other stuff). The school I went to is the only one I feel safe at. Yes, I'll feel like an outcast, but I wont be too worried about getting shot or anything. My other option is to continue being home schooled. Yes, I hated it at first, but I'm just so tired of all the drama of a public school. I'm starting to make friends who do the same online school as me(we have school dances and fundraisers believe it or not, so I actually get to see them fairly often), I'm getting okay grades, I'm chairperson of the student council there, and I'm finally adjusting. It would just be easier to continue doing this. But my therapist keeps saying I might not get into college if I continue doing this, which I personally think is a load of sh*t. I of course would go back to public school in the fall, but until then, I don't know what to do. Part of me misses going to school every day, getting out of the house, and seeing people every single day. Another part of me is tired of change, and just wants to sit with this. I don't know what to do.

[HEH18]

Just to go against what your therapist said for a moment, I searched for colleges that accept home schooled kids, and this is what I found: http://learninfreedom.org/colleges_4_hmsc.html

That is a MASSIVE list of colleges that accept home schooled students! In fact if you scroll all the way down, it talks about colleges that specifically say that they do NOT need a high school diploma (Harvard and Stanford both don't require high school diplomas for admission). Anyways, that's my thoughts on what your therapist said. As for going back to school.. My heart hurts that you were so bullied and struggling. People can be cruel

It sounds like you are doing very well with home schooling. If you are struggling with not getting out of the house, can you perhaps take on some extracurricular activities or volunteer work? That may provide the getting out of the house, and positive experiences, while keeping you out of what sounded like a pretty rough situation.

How do your parents feel? Do they have any thoughts on you staying home schooled or going back to public school?

[Amanda Pomerenke]

My parents don't care what I do, as long as I'm happy. I do volunteer, and I want to join some sports through my cities recreational program.
And wow, that is a lot of colleges! I also thought when she said that, it sounded like a load of crap. I would think it's wrong to discriminate against somebody based on where they went to school, as long as they have the good grades and good test scores, I don't think it should matter.

I just don't know what would benefit me more. On one hand, I really do miss the stability of public school. It's easier being able to wake up and kind of have a set schedule, it takes the pressure off. Plus being around other people my age is easier then me volunteering in the nursing home I volunteer at

I'm just so sick and tired of all this change though. I finally get used to something, and then it's taken away from me. In the long run it probably would be easier to go back to public school, but I just want a break from worrying about all of this.

[AoD]

Honestly if your grades are good and you don't really have more pleasant options (rapes in school?!?) I think you might do fine to be home schooled if it is just for a short while still. I mean, you got friends now and you won't make "new" friends at your old school so I don't see the point of going back there with unpleasant memories and unpleasant people. How long do you have until you can apply to college?

[HEH18]

Sounds like they're being really supportive

I think that the sports idea is a great one! That might help you connect to people your age, instead of nursing home age

Yeah it's a ton of colleges!! It seems to me like you'd have plenty of options!! I agree the good grades and test scores seem like they'd be the most important, especially because of the ever increasing number of people that are home schooled! There is definite stability in that set schedule, and it sounds like you may do better with those who were bullying you. Did you have friends in your high school at all?

It would be really hard to have that kind of change. Just remember that this current threat of change is in YOUR hands. It's your choice, and you can choose what you feel most comfortable with. Your parents will be good with either decision. I would honestly think of this as the opportunity to take the control yourself (by choosing whether to stay with home schooling, or go back to public school).

[Amanda Pomerenke]

I did have some friends, but we never hung out outside of school. They were those kind of friends where you shared tons of memories in school, but out of school they act like you don't exist. And I agree, it'd be easier to just stay home schooled. But I'm so social, and nothing is the same as getting up every day and seeing the same people. It might be easier, but I don't know if it's right for me. So now I just have to think, should I take the easy way out, or do what I think would be best for me in the long run?
And AoD, I'm in 10th grade, so I have until I guess the beginning of my senior year. I wont stay home schooled until then of course, but just until 11th grade, if I decide to keep doing it. Otherwise, I would go back as soon as possible, most likely a couple weeks if I talk to the district office soon enough.

[Skittles04]

ok, from what you've said, and thinking how i'd feel, i'd say continue with homeschooling until the end of year 10, then start back at public school for year 11. the whole shifting and changing around of everything can get pretty unsettling, especially for people like us lot who are already anxious! but, i bet you get lonely just being at home. i guess thats why this sites good, since half the members are teenage girls, but you need to socialise offline too please look in to joining one of those sport clubs at the rec centre! last year, i think i only attended half of school, but i had gymnastics to go to 3 days a week i didn't feel like a such a hermit haha

also, theres been stacks of studies that show being active helps control mental illness

feel free to pm me, sounds like we're both trying to work out what to do about school :S

[Amanda Pomerenke]

I think I am going to go back to public school, simply because my therapist does have a point(not about the no chance of college thing, but about my mental health). I'm a very social person, and I need to find social interaction every day. Also, I have a very unstable life, and being home schooled makes everything so much more hard on me, because everything is so unstable, and hard to cope with. I think I'll take the chance of going back to school, at least then I won't have time to be depressed, as to where when I'm home I'm alone with my thoughts that I can't get away from. I know going back will rise a lot of anxiety, which is why I might get an IEP for my anxiety, so if I panic I can temporarily leave class, get extended due dates if I panic, etc. Hopefully, I'll adjust well. I think adjusting to home schooling is a lot harder, because one day, I was in school with intentions of going back after the weekend. Monday came, and I was home schooled. Hopefully this will be a lot easier

And I used to do gymnastics as well, but it costs soooo much and my family is pretty poor, so I had to stop doing it :/ Hopefully I can join some sports at my school, because I really do want to start getting more active! Also I shall pm you, with all this constant change with school, I definitely need all the support I can get ://

I know the easy thing to do would be stay home schooled, but the easy thing isn't always the right choice

Thank you all for the advice

[Skittles04]

good on you do you know when you'd be able to go back? getting an IEP is a great idea, it seems like ive got an unofficial IEP until they know for sure whether im allowed to study part time, but it helps so much. and yeah that is a massive drawback to being by yourself, all the icky anxiety and depressing thought s flood your head :/

that is one massive drawback to doing gym, but, alot of sports don't cost as much, i dont know which sports are the cheaper ones in the us, but here, its only $60 to play netball for the year. (just as an example) and i think soccer is a similair cost. but like you said, schools offer sport for free, so thats another reason to go back


thanks for your pm btw haha im always on here, if you need to talk xx