To people who haven't v* in a long time, I have a question..

[sunnyskies]

It has been 10 years for me and with so rarely ever coming close to it really happening, despite the hundreds of panic attacks and times of thinking "This is the day it will happen."

I can pinpoint a few times where I really felt dreadful enough that it absolutely could have happened, but still didn't either due to my suppressing it or maybe I was just also overrating those times too and I wasn't ever really about to be sick.

That said, I guess I'm realizing a huge part of my fear now is that I don't really know what it will feel like if I am about to. I know you "just know" when it is really is about to happen, as I did when I got sick as a kid. But my mind is so crazy with being so sensitive to any nausea, any stomach cramp, pain, gurgle, etc. So that is my question... is anyone else afraid of that? Not knowing or remembering exactly what it is like when you're about to v* and then fearing EVERY little symptom that may make you feel that way?

Because with that mindset, you really could at any second v* when you're so scared of each stomach-related feeling you may have.

[realdeal1818]

That was me.. before last November, I hadn't been sick in 7 or 8 years. I was terrified because I had no idea what to expect.

While that was the case, it all went away when I became sick a few months ago. For some reason, my body and my head knew exactly what to do. I knew when I was about to v* to the point where I sat up and moved in a position where I'd be comfortable and then, it happened. I remember thinking during "what am I even doing right now?" because it all felt so foreign, but it felt normal at the same time. It's because it's a bodily reaction. Your head might not remember what it's like, but your body will remember- because it's a natural function of all humans.

I know that sorta sounds scary as well, but I promise that you will know and your body will react as if you do it everyday. The only real thing that hinders you is anxiety, which we all get when we feel like we are about to be sick!... but the anxiety doesn't hinder you enough to 'not do it right' or 'not know what to do'. I realized/learned all of this recently and I'm sure it'll be hard to remember the longer I go without v* like you have but hopefully we all can realize this at some point! Because I know how anxiety driven it can be.

I know this wasn't appealing to read by any means because we all don't want to think about the act, but I hope I helped calm some fear of the mistakenly called 'unknown'!! xo

[gumdropper1]

Yes, I worry about that too. The last time I was seriously nauseated, 13 years ago, I didn't even realize what it was until I had been feeling awful for about four hours. I didn't know how close I was to throwing up until I noticed my stomach wasn't emptying and I checked my temperature and it was very high.

The last time I threw up, I didn't even realize I was retching when it was happening. I didn't know I was vomiting until the first bit of puke flew out my mouth.

[Valen*]

It's been 15 yrs for me.. And I remember every little thing about it. THAT is what Im afraid of. The whole thing is very scary to me. And thats why Im here, lol.

[xundu]

I haven't had a sv for 14 years, and I was without v'ing for 12 years. Yes I think part of the fear is about not knowing or remembering what it really feels like, I don't really remember what sv really feels like so I'm partly scared of it because of that.

Last time when I v'd was when I took some drugs with alcohol, so I guess that is different from sv v'ing. I had been crawling on the streets and trying to force myself to not do it, but then it just happened. I was really dumbfounded, because it felt really weird and foreign like realdeal said. I did it many times that night and next morning, and after every time I was just really, really dumbfounded because all I could think about was "This really is what I've been deadly afraid for 12 years? This??"

To think about it, I had been deadly afraid for v'ing for 12 years, yet because I v'd it probably prevented me from dying of ODing that night because I v'd the drugs and alcohol out.

[SUM1]

It's only been 3 years for me since I last was sick, but that's only because I'm 14, but I feel EXACTLY like you do! I can barely remember what it feels like to BE sick. I do know what it feels like to FEEL sick, since I do all the time after eating anything (which I'm getting checked out), but I really don't know what it feels like to be it. What I CAN remember though is, the last time it happened for me (February 2010, on a Thursday) I DO remember just before I was sick having a very distressing and scary "flashback" or "sudden familiarity" to the time before that that I was sick (February 2008, on a Sunday), and this has happened for all the times I've been sick so far in my life. I can even remember it happening when I was 6 (the time before February 2008, when I got car sick) or even younger. I could PERFECTLY relate it to an experience I had with Cumin. When I smelt it for the first time ever, it was such a unique and different smell (though not a very pleasant one) that only a few seconds after smelling it, I forgot what it smelt like, so I smelt it again, and a sudden "wave" of familiarity came over me, then I forgot it again. This is a very short-term example, but imagine the same thing over many many years. It's just like that.

[Rls1994]

I haven't been s* for nearly 9 years now, but I still remember what it felt like clearly.. It's exactly the same thing Valen said really. Also the fact that you don't know when you're going to v* next. I HATE that so much... Every little stomach ache these days I think, 'Uh oh! Bet I'm going down with the SV*!' but it's never lead to anything. (Thank Goodness...!).

[Miss_Pink24]

This sounds like the same worry that I have... fear of the unknown. It has been so long since I last *ved (about 17 years) that I can't remember to an extent what it is like, but moreso how will I know when it is actually going to happen?!

[Devin-Rae]

this worries me too I never know if what I'm feeling is real sick or just panic!

[hairyfairy]

I have a very good memory for unpleasant events, so I`ll never forget how vting feels even if I never v again. To me, vting is not a natural event, & I can never accept it for myself, even though it`s a normal thing for most non emet people.

[Elie]

I always forget how it feels to v* until it actually happens. Maybe if I remembered, it wouldn't be so bad.

[mamacat]

It has been almost 10 years since I last v from a sv. I remember fighting off the most intense nausea (carsick) feeling I have ever known for hours leading up to it. That experience was actually kind of reassuring, because it led me to think that sudden, out of the blue nausea and v, like I experienced with a bad sv as a teen, was the exception rather than the rule.
Then my DS and DH caught a bad one, where one minute they were feeling fine and eating/driving, and the next minute they were v-ing. So yes, I share this fear-that it will come on so fast that I have no time to prepare

[xundu]

It had been 12 years before I v'd two years ago, because I had taken drugs with alcohol.

Yes, part of the fear came from not remembering what v'ing feels like, and when I v'd again I was really really dumbfounded. All I thought about was that is this really what I've been deadly scared of for 12 years? And to think about it, I had been (and still am) deadly scared of v'ing, but that night v'ing perhaps saved my life because my body got rid of all the harmfull stuff.

[Jay417]

It's been 19 years for me, and I do not remember how it feels either. I know what it feels like to be nauseated, and I dry heaved about 10 years ago, but the moment before I dry heaved I did not know it was coming, I was stunned. After I heaved I remember feeling so much less n even without ving, next moment I went and sat by the toilet on auto pilot assuming I was about to v, but the n was gone and never came back.

[Babydoll]

20 years here (I'm 30). I don't really remember much about it..other than my stomach felt upset and heavy, and my mom took me into the bathroom where I cried for about 5 minutes before it happened. My stomach has felt pretty bad since then..maybe even worse, but I've held it back when the average person wouldn't have. My biggest thing is that when I'm not feeling well, no matter how bad it is, I keep telling myself I'm okay and that it will pass, so I never actually go to the bathroom...so my biggest worry is that it will happen before I can make it.

Its only happened to me twice in my life that I know of - again later that evening with the same bug (I think it was the regular flu cause I had been sick with a fever/aches/stuffy nose about 2 days before the stomach incident happened). I barely remember the second incident because it happened in the middle night... I woke up, grabbed a bowl, and it was over...fell asleep again right after.

ugh...its amazing how 60 seconds of your life stays with you.

[Miss_Pink24]

It's been 19 years for me, and I do not remember how it feels either. I know what it feels like to be nauseated, and I dry heaved about 10 years ago, but the moment before I dry heaved I did not know it was coming, I was stunned. After I heaved I remember feeling so much less n even without ving, next moment I went and sat by the toilet on auto pilot assuming I was about to v, but the n was gone and never came back.

I have had this too. Dry heaving after feeling very *n and then having the *n go away after it has happened. I assumed that my body thought it had actually *ved and so the *n was no longer there.

[SUM1]

The simple answer to your question is "DEFINITELY YES".

[bakogirl]

It's been close to 8 years for me and I remember exactly how I felt every last bit of it. I'm terrified to feel that way again. I do remember though I felt better after. Not like right now, where the acid feels like its burning right through me. But I do remember the last time I did was from acid issues. So I'm really freaked out right now. Trying to eat crackers. But last year I was trying to quit smoking with the patch. I used a 21mg which was too high for me but I thought it would be better. Well anyway I took the patch off in the afternoon because it was making me queasy. I put another one on a few hours later. I had a cigarette. And I had one before I went to bed. After a couple hours if sleeping I woke up nauseated and sweaty and ran for the toilet. I didnt V, at the time I wish I did, I had dry heaves really bad.

[wiscomommy]

I'm right with Valen...remember everything. I'm sure I even embellished a few things in my mind to make it 'extra bad. Ugh. For me it's been 13+ years. I clearly remember what it was like, what it felt like, how it felt before, how it felt after, what I had eaten that day, what I was wearing, etc. Selective memory.... For me it will never be long enough or far enough away. This stupid-ass fear.... How unrealistic is it to live our lives this way???? Some of me thinks that when they have a proven vaccine for noro, my life will get drastically better. Anyone else feel this way?

[SUM1]

To be honest I'm actually glad I've forgotten how it felt as it's the very thing that scares me. I notice a lot of emetophobes remember very strongly how it felt, whereas others have forgotten. I remember the setting and when I was sick, the month, time, etc. all the small details, but the actual FEELING of being sick - that, I've forgotten.

[dani8mc]

I guess sick just comes out/up very forcefully. I do not like that. I guess prob never have liked it but if had remained calmer about it perhaps would not be emet. I dunno that i neccesarily remember how it would happen tho, after your mouth starts to water, the what comes next bit...It becomes hard to swallow too.