Here's an odd question....

[kthomas629]

Have you ever felt that YOU and your phobia were ever responsible for making someone else in your life or someone you knew phobic too??

I ask that, b/c I realized the other day that my mother's personal anxieties have long contributed to my own phobia and that in turn I think made me make my middle sister phobic as well. I remember vividly my mom (who screams at the stupidest stuff) screaming and shrieking whenever I would v* as a young child. She's just a jumpy person that is easily thrown off balance or frightened. It's not that she fears v* herself, she just screams or yells when startled. Her father was the same way. But I think it has seriously contributed to my own phobia. By the time my middle sister came along, Mom had gotten better about not screaming or yelling when she got sick, but by then I was doing it. If she got sick I would scream the house down, especially since she would be prone to motion sickness and that would totally set me off since I'd be sitting next to her! Now she has a big a fear as I do. In fact on some level, I think hers is worse than mine. I know she contemplated suicide in her early 20's. She's on meds. now, seeing a therapist to help with her anxiety and OCD thanks to the phobia. She is married now and contemplating children someday, but the phobia haunts her as it does me.

I feel like that it's my fault that she is so phobic. I don't think she would have been as afraid of it growing up if I hadn't been so phobic and passed it to her through my fears. Am I the only one that has ever felt like this?? Sometimes I think that my guilt contributes to my continuing fears as well. Like I shouldn't get better if my sister can't, since I gave it to her in the first place.

[sdd]

I worry that I'm making my kids emetophobic. My oldest has always been afraid of v'ing. Even when my emet was in "remission" for years and I was very calm about it, she was freaking out every time someone else would v. I have since discussed with her my fear. She said she fears it too. I told her, we've both had it and it hasn't killed us, right? So, let's just get through it together next time.

I am really trying to calm down about it so I don't affect them. But, the stupid media during this season sets me off again and again!

Don't blame yourself. I honestly think that anxiety isn't something we're taught, but something within us. Certain personalities are prone to anxiety and some aren't. I have always had anxiety...even before I was emet. You didn't give this to your sister. She was just prone to it, just as you were.

[mamacat]

I agree with sdd-certain people are more prone to anxiety, which can in turn fuel emet. It's not anyone's fault, necessarily. My mom is super anxious and she tried and tried throughout my childhood to not convey it to me. I did not even realize she feared v until after I was an adult. I do not blame her for my anxiety or my emet. I am just an anxious, driven, high-strung person. My son (4 yo) is shaping up to fall in the same mold. I am trying really hard to be less emet and more "normal" so don't fuel this phobia for him.

[sdd]

It's so hard, isn't it Mamacat?

I have 3 totally different children. My 1st is high strung and anxiety prone. She stresses and worries about everything. My 2nd doesn't have a care in the world. Things just don't bother her. My 3rd is tba as he is only 13 months old...lol. But, he seems to be the one who loves making people laugh, loves attention. I wouldn't say he's laid back at all. But, maybe somewhere in the middle of the other 2 as far as anxiety goes.

I really do think it is something we are born with.