terrified of sending DS to preschool!

[EvilCookie]

I have a three year old son, and we do a parent-participation preschool right now once a week. He's going to a drop-off preschool in the fall; so to get him better transitioned, I was planning to sign him up for another drop-off program, half-day once a week for the next two months. On the one hand, I was looking forward to having some time to myself. But now we're supposed to start next week and I'm having second thoughts! I haven't paid anything yet, so I'm actually considering pulling out, even though that would make me look terrible in front of the owner (it's a home-based place and she's expecting us to start). I'm just terrified of him getting sick without me there to constantly wipe/wash his hands, not let him touch his face, etc. It's not even just an SV* thing, though that's certainly a huge fear. But just illnesses in general, like flu, strep, etc., thank god he hasn't yet had any of those, but I always feel so terrible when he gets sick and I'll feel like it's my fault, not to mention that if we catch stuff from him too it really really sucks cause we have no family around to help, DH has work, etc. Ugh...The owner did tell me they have a strict sick policy, but we all know how that goes, and another mom whose friend's daughter goes there said she's always sick with something! I know I'll need to deal with this come fall anyways, but I feel the place we'll start in the fall will be safer as it's half-day only, so these kids have a stay-at-home-parent. Here, they have both half-day and full-day kids in the same group, and since the full-day kids often have working parents they're more likely to be brought in sick... Urg, I just dooon't know what to do... I'll feel so awful if I take him in and he comes down with something bad...

[mamacat]

EvilCookie, I do know how you feel. My DS (4 yo) will be starting preK in the fall and I am terrified. I know he will be ill and I dread the sv invading our house.
In spite of being home with me exclusively and rarely having playdates for the last 2.5 years (since my emet went crazy in Fall 2010). and in spite of my emet/crazy sanitizing, my son has STILL had 4 cases of strep, 2 cases of influenza A, mono, croup, and too many colds to count. I just think kids attract germs, no matter where they are. Unless we put them in a bubble (and believe me, I've been tempted...) they are going to catch stuff from friends, relatives, from touching things in public, whatever. And I want you to know that of all the illness he's brought into our house in 2.5 years, we've NEVER caught anything from him except a few of the colds. I hope maybe you can find that somewhat reassuring.
Kids get sick a lot. It helps them build up their immune system, though. It sucks for them, and for us as their moms who have to worry/feel guilty about them feeling bad. As far as if you send him this spring or not, that is your call. I don't think it will hurt anything if you want to wait. I can understand being uneasy. I'm already freaking out, and my DS doesn't start until August. My main anxiety surrounds sv, but I can definitely relate.
You can PM me anytime.

[EvilCookie]

Thanks mamacat! We've actually been very lucky that he's only been majorly sick a couple of times, all other ones were just colds, we've even managed to keep him from getting noro when me and DH both had it (we lived near my parents then). So I'd feel terrible if we all ended up sick now from the preschool. I'm really going back and forth on this one, and kind of regretting tellin the owner we'd start...I'm thinking maybe saying our circumstances changed and we're no longer able to attend...on the other hand, of course if I knew he wasn't gonna get sick, it'd be a good experience for both of us...urrg, don't know...

[Tonster]

I have a three yr old, she will be for next month, and I too am dreading the whole pre school thing. we live in the country on a farm in NZ and its been easy to do correspondence preschool, because of the distance we have to travel, but that is just an excuse. I was wanting to wait until after winter here, for the reason that it is after the worse flu bugs. we all have a flu shot etc, and I believe we have great immunities because of being on a farm. However I wont know until I sent her how her immunity will be against other kiddies. What do you think I should do?...then I suppose you may have the answer for what you should do lol!

[jennjt]

My daughter is in preschool 2 mornings a week, 9-12. She absolutely loves it, and it gives me a chance to have some "down time," too. I worried terribly at first and still do, but so far, so good-- just a few colds / coughs. I have hosted a party at her school and was super impressed at how often they wash their hands. AND they clean with a bleach mixture. I always wipe her hands with Wet Ones (even though they're not "effective," per say) as soon as we get in the car, then we use a hand sanitizer that works against Noro. I Lysol her bookbag occasionally. Honestly, I know she's going to get sick, but it has been so good for her that I try to put it out of my mind. I have met some really nice "mom friends" there, too, which I totally wasn't expecting. I look at it like this... When she was 2, she always came with me to the child care at the gym about 3-4 hrs per week. Now she's in preschool 6 hours a week. Next fall, she'll be in preschool 3 mornings a week, so 9 hours. I tell myself that I'm helping her build her little immune system gradually . She will go to Kindergarten year after next, so I think it might help! It can't hurt to try the preschool thing and see what happens. He may love it so much that you wouldn't think of doing anything else.

[jennjt]

I never thought about the half day thing where stay at home parents are more likely to keep a sick kid home-- makes complete sense! My daughter's preschool is half-day, so I guess that might help! I do notice that the moms do keep their sick kids home. Even for bad colds, etc. I am such a worrywart-- am always asking my daughter, "Were all your friends at school today?" :/. There are only 8, so it's pretty obvious if one is missing.

[Erin80]

Yeah....my daughter started full time JK (pre K) in September and I was terrified. She has been nothing but sick since she started, but all manageable illnesses - colds, strep, pink eye. I can deal with ANYTHING at all except for sv's, and I could care less if I catch anything from her except for sv's! Anyway, she did catch noro in Feb, and it SUCKED. It's going to happen though, and I can't shelter her from it, as much as I wish I could. I went through it as a child, and my kids will too. I know each time they get it, they're building up their immune system, so hopefully when they're older they can ward things off. I find with my daughter that it bothers me more than her. She doesn't seem scared of throwing up, she doesn't cry after, but I will sit in my bed in tears for her while my husband sits with her while she's sick. I hate seeing her go through it, but she gets over it quickly and moves on. I want to encourage her to continue to be like that, I never want her to develop this phobia that I have.

The most annoying thing is that I avoided every single illness she brought home this winter (and my youngest also caught), except for 2 colds AND the freaking sv. I didn't even sit with her when she had the sv, and I STILL caught it. When she had strep, the flu, pink eye, etc, I was on the front line taking care of her, and didn't catch any of that! It could be because I'm pregnant and my immune system is down already, plus anxiety makes your immune system even weaker, and the week the sv went through our house I was stressed out every single day, and barely ate anything.

[EvilCookie]

thanks everyone for the support...so we bit the bullet and went in today after all...I was still going back and forth on it even up until last night, thought about just backing out, but in the end I decided we need to go through with it, and that it'll be good for both of us to start getting used to the separation anxiety (I swear I had it worse than him!). I was so nervous, both about the germs and just in general about him, because I'm used to always being with him and not knowing what he's doing at any given moment just felt so strange and freaky, lol. But he seemed to do fine, and I got to go and do some shopping on my own and have a coffee in peace, which was very nice and kinda surreal, haha. The kids all seemed to be okay based on what I saw while there, so praying for no sickness! Of course when I picked him up I walked in on him gnawing on his finger and sticking it in his water cup , wiped down his hands right away and growled at him to not do that. But I guess at some point I just need to realize it's out of my control and let go...