Being neurotic again....includes rant.

[crimson_petrichor]

Hi guys,
I'm at my mothers for easter and her husband cooked steak last night for dinner and again for lunch today. I was fine with it last night because I could see him at the barbecue and everything and my sister was with him watching, so I had a second source if I needed reassurance about it. But today for lunch I couldn't see him, and I keep worrying that he didn't get a clean plate to put the cooked steak on to bring it to the table and if he didn't that the steak could have been contaminated and I'm going to get sick. Part of me knows how silly and neurotic I'm being. My mothers husband cooks steak ALL the time. I'm pretty sure he knows not to put it back on the same plate. And then I get worried that I'm going to get fp just because.

I go through these intense periods of worry and anxiety about things like this every other day at least. And I'm always fine. Always. But my brain can't be rational and stop itself from freaking out about it all the time. The closest I even get to V* is during really bad panic attacks. Otherwise it's just anxiety induced indigestion. I just wish my brain would stop associating everything food related with something to be frightened of. Because it isn't. I've V* TWICE in 21 years that I remember. And both were presumably fp. My sister has gotten like 5 SV this year and I haven't caught even one of them. Not to mention the dozens she had last year. I seem to have a pretty good immune system, so why am I so worried still??

Sorry for the rant. Because I'm away and my mothers husband has blocked the site my blog is on I don't really have anywhere else to put it all.

[Kinetic]

I think you need to see someone about your problems with anxiety which seem to be OCD-like in nature with all that obsessing. I know it can get debilitating but its best to sort it out before it gets too intense. Talk to someone close to you, maybe your sister about your phobia and perhaps she can help you? I hope you are okay, but your not going to get sick.

[crimson_petrichor]

I am seeing someone about it all. Thanks.

[mamacat]

Crazy as it sounds Crimson.....steak is actually very unlikely to contain the scary bacteria like e coli. It's one of the "cleanest" cuts, because it doesn't go through a grinder (like hamburger). My DH always eats his fairly rare. It freaks me out, but he has never been ill from it. I'm sure he used a clean plate, especially since you mentioned he cooks steak a lot. Try not to worry!!!