Something I found funny (possibly a little graphic)

[aquariTerrible]

I just recently learned (ie within the past few years- actually probably near the end of highschool) that my fear of being stomach-sick is called emetophobia. I've had the fear on and off my whole life and don't really have it too-too badly (though it does sneak up at times and I am still pretty consistently bothered by it). Its a strange contrast to my desire to know pretty much all things medical, and the long desire of becoming a doctor of sorts (its actually the reason I gave up). It was always really weird to me I was terrified and more disgusted than everyone else over that sort of thing- yet I'd willingly watch shows with surgeries during dinner. Or eagerly listen about how someone needed a bone re-set.

And it just sort of hit me- as I was scrolling through a blog. When I say I don't have it too bad, i mean it. I can be alright if its something really unrealistic (like a cartoon) or there are no images. Heck I can even be alright sometimes if its a real image but I don't know the person or know I won't ever be near them. I still feel uncomfortable a lot of the time, but its a lot better off than a lot of other situations and other people.

I was just recently told about this site by someone on a different forum site when I was having a hard time. And I was reading through coping tips and treatments for the phobia- and stumbled across one talking about cognitive behavior therapy and exposure therapy.

I laughed really hard, because I have been unconsciously doing that since I was a kid. I'd get really frustrated and think "why did someone saying they felt n* bother me so much?" or "why was I scared to go out to the field after there was a milk challenge kids in my grade did?" and "why did i freeze all those times in school when someone v* or felt ill?" and I'd go and look things up online. I'd read stories and ask myself why i was uncomfortable and scared. When I felt particularly brave I'd make myself look at a picture or a video because I felt dumb for being scared.

Basically, I think I'm sort of better off because I've been doing that since we've had a computer with internet (since I was about 7 or so). Not with any frequency, and if I go make myself read about it I usually have something else to switch too if it gets to much with a lot of comforting stuff in it.

I just think its really hilarious that I've been sub- or unconsciously treating myself for a fear I've had since I recognized it as a fear as a child.

has anyone else done something like that without meaning too?

[jparsons93]

You just typed my life story... Haha. I am currently in nursing school, though.