New to forum, and looking for support

[Camanja05]

Hey guys and gals! I'm new here, so I'll tell you my long story. It all started late in high school after a terrible bout of some kinda horrible bug. No one knows about my phobia, not even my husband. He just thinks I'm some kind of germaphobe with OCD. If he only knew the darkness inside. For some reason, in which I'm not really sure of, I'm embarrassed of anyone finding out. I can't sleep most nights and I feel that dreaded awful feeling at some point every day. Some how, only God knows how, I managed to survive pregnancy without the dreaded awful. So I want you guys to know that it IS possible. I still felt the yucky feeling, but I don't know if that was pregnancy or my normal anxiety. I thought surely after surviving that, I would be better...WRONG! My baby is 3 months old, and I've become a hermit. I don't even let people touch him in fear of what they may be carrying. My hands crack and break as a result of constant washing, bleaching... You get the point. I figured here, I wouldn't be judged an someone would understand. I've spent too many nights crying and certain that I was going to just die from that yucky feeling. I hate public restrooms and resturants. I will not go near a daycare and in no way in hell put my child in one. Luckily I'm able to stay home with him. Having a hard night tonight, lying here with a bag of ice cubes on my face trying to make it go away. I'm not familiar with the levels of severity here, but I'm ranking pretty high tonight. I know we all have our little tricks of quelling the feeling, so y'all feel free to share!

[staystrongxx]

Welcome! You are most definitely not alone, you will come to find out that people here are so so supportive

[chixy]

Welcome to the forum I think you should definitely try or at least think about telling your husband. Emetophobia is bad as it is, it's even worse trying to hide it. Isolation really is the worst part of it, and you need some support! I'm sure it will be hard but it will be so worth it afterwards.

[jennjt]

Welcome! I can relate so much to what you wrote. I have found wonderful support here over the past few years. Haven't been on as much lately because things were going so well! Am currently experiencing a bit of a setback, though, so looking forward to getting to know you on here. I experienced the hermit thing over the winter and also survived pregnancy without v* . My husband knows and is usually very supportive. He's a little frustrated with me today, but I can't really blame him-- I'm frustrated with myself lol. Last night and parts of today were the first time in awhile i have experienced that horrible "all-the-way" panic that reduced me to tears. The ice cube thing works for me, too-- last night, i had both hands full of ice. At one point, even went outside and sprayed myself with the water hose to try and "snap out of it." I can only imagine what my neighbors would think if they saw that! Anyway, you're definitely not alone.