Friend is ill -please help?!!

[dani8mc]

I do simply not understand how my friend is ill and they hardly even treat it like its a big deal, how does this happen for normal people? Even though they v* so much?! why did I have to become phobic but non emet people can cope with that? can someone explain how im supposed to not feel scared?
Still does anyone think maybe this stuff is just easier for guys, well supposedly it is anyway! I spoke to someone about emet an they say 'oh emet, I've heard women get that' it does seem strangely sexist (not sure if right word!) guys get emet too! but maybe guys want to appear more macho regarding illness?

Also it's damn weird with my friend in that he doesn't seem so able to cope with say a stomachache. BUt can cope well with a sv* ?! anyone any idea?

any replies is welcomes!

[chixy]

I've heard that women are more prone than men to develop any kind of anxiety disorder simply because if the fact that we worry a lot more and analyze things more than men do. It's sad that it is that way because men are often not taken as seriously as women with these kind of things even though they can go through just as much anxiety as us.
I guess the difference between us and non-phobics is that they think logically and they know they're going to feel a lot better from v*ing. I mean if you're sick, you're going to be n* for a long time if you dont v*. A survey said that 63% (!!) of people agree that n* is much worse than v*. That might be why non-phobics are ok with it. Plus, we emets actually think we're going to die. Not intellectually of course, we KNOW that v*ing isn't going to kill us but the information is processed in our brains in the same way as if we met a bear in the woods for example. So, we get the same reaction when we see somebody v* or if we think we're going to v* ourselves as we would if we were in an actual life threatening situation. Which means that, once this reaction has been set into action, we can't think rationally. It's like being 10 seconds away from a car accident, you don't pick up your phone and google how to get away in the best way, you just do something to try and save your life. That's the difference. If we translate the car scenario into a v* scenario, non phobics have time to think over their options and all of that, we don't. I wrote a post about this, you can read it if you go on my profile there are probably a million answers to your question brut thisnisnthe scientifical one!

[Aspie Grrrl]

I hear ya!

My dad and grandpa are emets, but it manifests differently in them. The men in my family tend to get angry and uptight (or even verbally abusive) when someone is sick rather than crying or panicking like I do. Men are discouraged from showing fear or emotional vulnerability, so it makes sense.

I have no idea how people can get sick without panicking, but I envy them. (I used to have this ability as a young child and it made being sick SO much easier). The phobia feels worse than the sickness itself 90% of the time.