HELLO EVERYONE!! IT HAS BEEN YEARS!, but wanted to share-may be graphic to some.

[silver]

I haven't been on this website in literally years, but at one time I was a daily, hourly, and sometime minute user. I wanted to come back and share a few experiences that I think may help those that are at a place where they cannot navigate a way through this phobia like I was at one time. I also feel that it will encourage those that are at a place where they want to start confronting their fear. I read a quote the other day that said "courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyways"-John Wayne. I feel that this is very appropriate to this phobia. Through the years I have literally felt scared to death, paralyzed, frozen, and isolated with fear. I also at one time said that I would rather die than vomit and also wasn't sure if I could handle having children....I can't believe now looking back how limiting my beliefs were.

I can proudly say that although terrified, I was not going to allow this fear to prevent me from having kids. I accepted the fact that I might v* from morning sickness, etc. But the fact is, I never actually did, not pregnant, not in labor, not with the epidural, nothing. My first child ended up being a baby with bad reflux which meant that she projectile v* on a constant basis. I found myself handling it amazingly well, it soon no longer bothered me. The more it happened, the easier it got- my own exposure therapy of sorts. I was the type of person that even the word made my adrenaline rush, could not see anyone do it, hear it, see it, smell it, or do it myself. Through the last five years it has gotten better and better. I still freak a little when I hear the phrase that we all love "there is a stomach bug going around." It no longer consumes me to the point of disabling me. Its is all about making yourself face it, stay in it, don't run-then dealing with the anxiety afterwards. On Saturday night my 5 year old v* all over her room. I very calmly, matter-of-factly explained to her what was going on, cleaned her up, cleaned it up, and then comforted and rubbed her back-Things that I would have NEVER been able to do 5 years ago. I don't want her to be neurotic about v* so I have made an asserted effort to work on myself every chance I get. My 2 year old has now been v* all day today, I have cleaned it up, comforted him, he even v* on me.

Although none of this is pleasant, I now feel that it is manageable. If I feel the fear creep up in me, I remind myself that it is a conditioned response, nothing more and I let it go. I keep trying to face it every chance I get. Let me be clear though-this is something that I MAKE myself do. When I first started facing it, I felt TERRIFIED. The more I do it, the better it gets. I am still not ok with myself vomiting, but I am accepting of the fact that the time will come and I will do everything I can to face it. I am working on it and I feel so good about the strides that I have made. I do know without a doubt, 110% that the worst part is ANTICIPATORY anxiety, NOT the actual events. I will get a little stressed when the stomach flu is all over the preschool, but the stress is far worse than if it actually happens.

I know that everyone is at their own place with this. I just want to give hope that life can get better with this phobia. Refuse to give up! Making yourself face it in anyway will make it easier and easier over time. Even start with looking at the word or watching a movie that has a scene. Start somewhere! It WILL feel terrible at first, but you can handle it and it WILL get better over time. I was a sad, sad case. Now I have freedom-I can take my kids to the park, Chuck E Cheese, preschool, movies, places that I NEVER thought that I would be able to go. Be patient and kind to yourself, this take time and exactly where you are is ok. You are a wonderful and loving human being, don't ever give up. I will check back more often and offer anything that I can to help. I know and remember the place that I was in, and I would NEVER wish that on anyone. It tears my heart open to know that other people are suffering with this. Please feel free to send me a message if you need help, I am here to help ANYONE.

Emily

[Kittycat319]

Wow that is so amazing you are a fabulous mom! I've been making some slow progress myself but this totally inspired me!

[emet-ana]

Thanks Silver. Your story is inspiring! I'm really struggling with emetophobia and OCD just now and can't quite see my way through it.

Did you have any therapy along the way? or was it all self-directed?

I hope your little ones are feeling better now

[missgem4lifex]

Just wanted to say your story has truly inspired me. i have had treatment but still have this phobia because my treatment never finished. going to the doctors on the 5th of august to see what they can do for me and see if they can help again. In someways my treatment did work I have a social life again and I'm not as afraid as I used to be. I just find being in closed spaces where I can't get out difficult like being on a car or bus. which i found out about a month ago. I want to be over it completely though because one day I want to be a mum like yourself. An hopefully like you with having children it will be the making of this fear to go away then make it worse.

[Cynna]

Love your story. You are kicking emets a...

[struggles]

How lovely to hear a success story! I hope someday I am able to get over my emetophobia. At the moment my main struggle is eating in a restaurant. I've been sick in the toilet of restaurants a couple of times and now I cannot bear the thought of ever going to one. It really limits what I can do with my friends and boyfriend and it is really upsetting. I hope I can overcome it like I overcame my cinema phobia. Your story gives me hope