MAKES YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!

[kate1966]

This is my story....and I hope it puts some things into perspective for all the mom's out here with emet!!!!!


Last night I was putting my 11 yr old to bed....and we were hugging and everything and I started to tell him that I was proud of him and he was growing up and he was such a big boy now going to Middle School and everything...well he then hugs me really tight and starts crying.....and I said...what's wrong sweety...and he says....mommy, i don't want to grow up....and I said why not....he said b/c i don't want to die!!!!!!!!! Imagine me hearing that......and so I said well why are you thinking about dieing? And he said he didn't know.....and he just layed there and cried a little while...and I hugged him and told him that I was there with him and he wasn't going to die for a very very long time and then I would meet him there in heaven.......


And so the point of my story is this: I felt sooooooooooooooooooooooo incredibly selfish for ever trying to avoid him when he is sick....being afraid of him....when this little precious angel of mine was in fear of dieing....I told myself then and there I was going to do better for him...that I was not going to let alittle sv or whatever come between my baby and me....it just struck a nerve in me and really caught my attention to what is really important...and that is to be there for our babies in their time of need...when they are scared and need us......I hope that i can be strong for him and be there for him.......


I hope I have touched some of you here with children....I know it's hard...but we have to find the strength to take care of them...they need us so very much...they are so vulnerable and innocent....ok I am going to cry now...so that's it. Kate

[chicajojobe]

I'm not really surprised about what your son said, because I identify with it.



I'm 18 so I'm really not ages older then him but I get depressed
thinking about death. On my 18th birthday (almost a year ago) at one
point I said to myself "I am so freaking old!"



Then just a week ago I was very upset, I think it was a PMS moment, but
I was feeling like this is the high point of my life and right now it's
mediocre at best, sucky at worse so my life is just down hill from
here....and then I die.



However, at other times I feel like probably everyone has a hard time
of it at my age. Both of my parents described different reasons why
their lives weren't so great when they were my age either.



But anyway I guess my point is that quarter life crises come amazingly early.

[jesskali]

Oh Kate, you are so right. I don't have children yet, of course. But, this infertility stuff has really made me stop and think about what is important and it certainly isn't emet! I hope that I have the opportunity one day to have a child, despite the emet worries that come along with it!

Jess

[shiva]

That's sad and beautiful at the same time. Kids can be pretty complex, can't they? I hope that you are able to stick to your guns, I'll cross my fingers for you. Sometimes when my daugther says her tummy hurts and I feel myself begin to panic I will remind myself of children who are terminally ill and the hell they have to go through. I tell myself that I should embrace normal childhood illness such as sv, because it's normal and healthy kids get sick from time to time. But, immagine having a child who isn't well.


I think it sounds like you have done a great job with your son. He sounds very sensitive (in a good way) and capable of expressing himself. Isn't it sad what kids can sometimes worry about? And, imagine how much of their time they spend trying to be brave for us! Kids are truely amazing.

[kate1966]

Shiva...this is true...and I forgot to mention that he had woken up the morning with a stomach ache and didn't even wake me up...he just went to the bathroom and went poopy....and never even came and got me....and then this am he had D pretty bad before he left for school.....and of course i almost started getting scared...but he assured me he was fine and he felt fine and his belly didn't hurt anymore....and so he just came up here when he got out of school and of course i asked him how his tummy was and he said it was just fine......But I honestly can say that I feel like I will be able to deal with it better now....but when the time comes....it may be different.....i think i worry about myself more now!!!!!!!!!!!! But of course I would rather it be me than my babies!!!!! But thanks for the support.......it's always comforting to know others understand how you feel....Kate

[jennyleigh1975]

Kat--it really does put things in perspective and makes us realize how much time we waste worrying. I am TRYING to do better myself, maybe my children being in school will toughen(sp) me up some. We shall see.

You know I am here for you anytime!!!!

[Babydoll]

That story is very nice.. it shows us just how innocent children are and how much they need us.


I think you've got a very brave little guy there. he was very smart to ask you questions about death, most children do not understand that concept at all.he also is showing signs of being able to express his feelings well at a very early age.


he is probably scared with all the changes in his life, ( ie a new school) and Its coming out like this, or maybe he's been hearing scarey stories from his friends about death. You may want to ask him why he is scared and where these questions are coming from so you can help him understand his feelings more and put things into perspective for him.


I don't even have children yet, but when I do I will remember your story and remind myself that no matter how scared I am of something, they come first.

[crystalmom]

That is an amazing story. I have a four year old, and at night he will hug me and tell me he loves me. It is the best feeling. I would die for my child, and I think those of us with choldren will agree with me....I would v* every day for the rest of my life to save him and keep him with me.


I hate when I am selfish when he is sick. Although I have only had two v*ing episodes with him so far (knock on wood) I HATED being in the situation. But, we both survived with no scars, so it must be ok.


Crystal

[samara's on tv]

I don't have kids but I remember when I was young like 5 or 6 my dad had already started teaching us about death...not because he's morbid or anything but because Around that time I had two relatives die and we had to go to the funerals and he HAD to explain it. I guess MY concept of what happens at death is different from yours. I believe that we come back, that we go up to heaven for a little while, but then we come back. My dad taught me this at a very young age and it's what I believe now. I remember being little and being scared of dying. I would call for him in the middle of the night and make him PROMISE me that dying isn't just DYING that we come back. My dad ALWAYS made me feel better.


I don't really plan on having kids but death really does scare me. I don't know what to believe any more. Most of me believes that we come back I mean that's what I was taught...but what if it's wrong?


Anyway I think it's great that you feel that way about taking care of your son. Kids need a lot of attention and it sounds like your handled yourself very well. I hope that next time he gets a sv you can be there for him like you want.


~Monica

[chicajojobe]

Yeah I agree with Samara, I'm pretty sure that by 11 kids have atleast a general preception of death.



I mean from what I remember about being that age.

[kate1966]

I agree with everyone here.....i do believe he is just going through some changes now....i think puberty is one of them.....and i know his emotions have been up and down ever since school started....and his stomach has been bothering him most of the weekend...but i think he is fine....i just hope he is not developing my ibs symptoms....that has crossed my mind also....but anyway thanks for reading my story and giving me your thoughts and input . My baby is so special to me....and yes i would go through any discomfort in order for him not to suffer......and for all you young ladies out there what are scared to have kids b/c of emet......just know what their others here that have done it and you can too!!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise they are so worth it....K