Guidance for a teacher with emetophobia

[happyno]

Hello!
I'm so glad that I found this community. I am a 27 year old elementary school teacher with emetophia. I have had emetophobia since I was very young. I remember a student getting sick in Kindergarten and, even at that young of an age, I remember feeling a horrible anxious feeling. My twin sister and I both have it. I get extremely anxious when I don't feel well but have a panic attack if I hear, see, smell or even hear it being talked about. My sister and I even get anxious if we hear someone coughing severely. Through the years I have tried to deal with it and have gotten better. I know that it sounds so silly but, it depends on the relationship I have with the person. I'm a little better with my husband, family and friends who I love so dearly but I still become anxious. I'm also a little better with my students because I love them very much and form a professional relationship with them but I still can't deal with it as best as I'd like to. And, forget it, if I see someone random getting sick, then I will perseverate and drive myself crazy.
I'm going in to my 4th year of teaching and have been lucky so far. I have had a couple of students get sick in my class but haven't seen it or have had the chance to cover my ears and then run to call the custodian. This year I was very thankful to have a co-teacher who understood how I feel. A student got sick and I was able to duck and take the kids to the other side of the room while she took care of our student and the I called the custodian. My anxiety was not too bad and that was a big step for me. If a student didn't feel well I asked them to let me know and I would put a trash bin next to their desk just in case.
But, the most recent occurance is what made me want to seek some guidance. We were on our 5th grade senior trip and one of my students wasn't feeling well. I love my students and am their to support them all that I can. Whether it's a bloody nose (which I get anxiety with also but can deal with a little better), getting hurt, feeling sad, not feeling well; I'm there for them. But throwing up, that fight or flight really sets in. I felt so bad that one of my students wasn't feeling well. I sat with her for a little while, asked if she wanted water, and then ended up taking her to the bathroom. She wasn't sure if she wanted to get sick or go to the bathroom. On the way to the bathroom, she stopped. I knew what was coming. I heard her begin and ran with my ears plugged. I panicked. I didn't want her to be alone so I started calling for one of my friends/fellow teachers. I went to get her because my co-teacher was presently in the bathroom. I knew she would be out soon. My student was taken care of but I felt very foolish that I panicked and even more foolish that I felt like my friends/co-workers probably thought I was an idiot (even though they didn't say it). As much time, effort, and empathy that I put in to my teaching, I felt like an awful teacher.
I was a bit shaken but ok. It's amazing how supporting my students are of my phobia. They may try and joke with me but they understand. Another one of my students got sick that day and since other teachers were around him I walked away. As I was walking away I heard a little voice say, "Good choice" as I walked away. It was one of my students. Ever since that day (about a little over a week ago) I have been perseverating and feeling like I'm a horrible person and teacher.
I'm getting better and working on dealing with it. I will have to deal with it when my husband and I have children and in my future endeavors as a teacher. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance and guidance that I'm not a horrible person or teacher. If anyone has some suggestions of how to better deal with it that would be fantastic as well. Or if anyone has a similar experience/situation as a teacher I would love to hear it. Thank you for all of your assistance.

[andee]

Sooo great for you to even be an elementary school teacher!!! You have handled those occurrences well! I would love to work at a school but this stops me. I was a medical assistant but had to stop because of this fear. So you are doing very well. It's understandable to question yourself after so close a call. You definitely are not a horrible teacher...you just said how much you care about your students. It's the anxiety that prevents you from fully engaging with them when they are sick. I have 2 kids and used to totally blame myself that I couldn't be there for them when they were sick. But my hubby is great with them. So as long as someone is taking care of them and they are not abandoned or in danger, then you are okay. Just keep talking to your co-teacher and others so they can help you, and yes, your students too!! I have told my children and they are fine with my fear. Best of luck...be strong!!

[happyno]

Andee thank you so much for your support. It truly means a lot. I know when we have children my husband will have to deal with that issue, haha. You stay strong, too!

[Aspie Grrrl]

You're awesome! My sister is a 1st grade teacher and has a girl in her class with a severe stomach disorder who v's every day. She makes sure to tell me allll about it!

I think "coming out" about your phobia to other faculty would be a great idea if you haven't already. Your students and fellow teachers sound really supportive. As long as someone's there to comfort the kid, that's all that matters. It doesn't always have to be you. (When I was sick as a kid I never wanted anyone near me, so not all kids NEED to be comforted in the moment). When those kids think back on you later in life, I'm sure your phobia will not even register in their minds.

I always said if I became a teacher there would be one rule: NO PUKING IN THE CLASSROOM!

[happyno]

Thank you so much. Your comments mean so much!

[missj]

WOW. You are doing SO much better than a lot of people with this phobia and that is something to be SUPER proud of. I am picking my major right now after finishing all of my gen-eds and I can tell you there are several things I would like to do as a career but the little voice inside my head likes to tell me, "there's a high chance you'll be around sick people and then get sick yourself if you do that!" The fact that you're able to rise above that and do something your passionate about that puts you in a position that compromises your phobia speaks volumes to the kind of person you are and the person you are capable of becoming. I would HIGHLY suggest you seek out a therapist who specializes in CBT. I honestly believe that it won't take you that long to really overcome this phobia based on where you are right now. You've really inspired me to look at these possible majors without thinking about my phobia - now let's hope I can maintain that long enough to make a choice!

[happyno]

Missj, you are an inspirational well! Thank you so much for your kind words. Even though I still feel foolish and bad about the situation, your words help me to dwell less on it and more on how I can better deal with future situations. As much as teacher hers may have to deal with this, it isn't fare to say that if you have the phobia you can't be a teacher. We just have to find a way to work around it/with it enough to make it through. Best of luck!

[aimee123]

You sound like you are handling your phobia very well. I am in college for secondary teaching (high school kids are less likely to get sick in class ) which is why I chose secondary. If it was me in your position I would have been hyperventilating and made myself sick. It is an unfortunate phobia to have but it could always be worse. It sounds like your co-workers and students are supportive, just remember you look at your phobia as a flaw and everyone has them but your students and co-workers aren't going to label you. Everything else you do to help them is what they will remember.

[happyno]

Aimee, yes, you are right. I do see it as a flaw, especially in school. But, I do overthink things, at times, as well. My co-workers know and don't say anything but I guess it's me being paranoid and hard on myself. When I get sick I'm embarassed to have anyone there. But most children who do not have the phobia would probably want someone there. It's my job to be supportive and I feel bad that I had to leave her for the time (even though it wasn't very long) to go and try and find someone that could go and be with her. But, after everything was said and done she had two teachers with her and I made sure to check up on her afterwards. Needless to say she had a wonderful time the rest of the day. I thank you and everyone on here for all of the support. I'm so glad that I found this community :-) Best of luck in your educational endeavors!

[missj]

Missj, you are an inspirational well! Thank you so much for your kind words. Even though I still feel foolish and bad about the situation, your words help me to dwell less on it and more on how I can better deal with future situations. As much as teacher hers may have to deal with this, it isn't fare to say that if you have the phobia you can't be a teacher. We just have to find a way to work around it/with it enough to make it through. Best of luck!

Thank you! I appreciate your kind words and am taking to heart all you have said and allowing it to help me make a better decision about my undergrad! *hugs*

[happyno]

Oh wonderful :-) you can do it!

[Robbie A Carlson]

Teachers bear the weight of academic stress too but personal statement services lighten the load for both students and educators, making life a bit easier for everyone in the realm of education.