Scares: 'Could this be it?' moments - kinda a vent post.

[JustLacey]

I was just wondering how many scares everyone has had in the last year. I really needed to vent. I personally count my scares, and I know it sounds pretty weird, but I have a few delusions when it comes to emet and v*. One of them is once you've had so many years since last v* or so many scares, you have a debt to pay aka v*.

Scare one: February. I was in Chem at school, suffered a reflux attack and had to run out of the classroom and just repeat 'I will not v*' to myself over and over again. I downed a couple of glasses of water and I took it easy for the rest of the day.

Scare two: May. After having let my emet guard down for a while, I started drinking milk without smelling it again. I suffer with eating issues for those who do not know, so I drink very, very skimmed milk, which spoils randomly and quickly. I thought my tea tasted funny, but I kept drinking it. I woke up with terrible nausea during the night and fell asleep sitting up watching QVC. I went downstairs to make cereal in the morning, and shoved the milk under my brothers nose and he started to heave. I then smelt it and started to panic.

Scare three: July. My guard had been down for six months now, and I thought I was getting better. I know almost everything that can cause you to v*, but like an idiot, I lie in the sun for five/six hours, and then go out with a friend walking for an hour. I was very dehydrated and started feeling terribly nauseous. I then started shaking uncontrollably, like an electric toothbrush and started getting sweaty and clammy. I went into my Mother's room and she then started to shout at me about how she's 'had to deal with all this emetophobia shit for six years now and is getting tired of it' and she was saying it was all in my head ect. Since my eating issues started, d* hasn't really scared me anymore, but this bout I had to run to the toilet for did. I then got back into bed and in a panic, I phoned 111 (The UK's non emergency national health hotline) and my Mother heard me talking. She then realized how ill I was and started calming me down. It was a very, very tough night.

I just needed to vent, and whoever read this (every bit of it) deserves a medal for listening to my rantings.

Lacey.

[sarahcox]

You are not alone in your suffering. Over the past year my emet has gotten so much worse. Every time my stomach makes a noise, I feel something or anything...I panic...lets put it this way....a couple weeks ago I went to the docs for a follow up. They take my temp as always and it said 99.9. I freaked out thinking I had noro bc why else would I have a fever...seriously?!? My daughter has a loose stool and I freak out and think shes sick. I burp funny and think im going to V. You are not alone in this ok....my husband is not very understanding of this emet though he tries. he does not have a phobia and I feel that people who do not have phobias do not fully understand how miserable it is. My husband Ved the other night and I ran out of the room crying and apologizing and slept in our daughters playroom. Hes like im not sick, I mixed liquor and beer and then ate a greasy hamburger...I didn't care. He doesn't get that. I don't count my scares because I have too many and it makes me feel bad about myself. I just try to deal with each one as quickly and calmly as possible. Hang in there ok, you are not the only one and you are not alone here

[staystrongxx]

I have had a few scares this year, like legitimate, I think I'm ging to v* any minute..

February:
Had some sort of virus or really bad PMS, had just eaten Del Taco and came home and took my temp, it was 99.8. I worked myself up into such a panic I felt like v*ing. Once I calmed down, I felt fine. And my fever went down as soon as I settled down.

Probably March or April, can't remember exactly:
Felt n* and headachey but was hungry. Ate some of my dinner but couldn't finish. Ate more later because I was still hungry. Had some soft stool and started feeling like v*ing. Went into a total panic...once again, once I calmed down, I was fine.

June:
Felt extremely n* and totally awful, had a weird taste in my mouth. After a while of this I thought I felt the v* coming up but somehow I fought it off. My boyfriend bought me Dramamine and the n* and v*feeling subsided. I felt off the rest of the night but was fine the next day.
That one was horrible, I feel like I stared v* in the face..

I don't count my scares but I definitely remember all of them. I usually manage to calm down by comfort from my parents & boyfriend, and going outside always helps me.

[MrsFox]

Like many, I feel I've had loads of near misses, but there was one moment where I felt like I knew it was going to happen - the night I found out my Dad had died. As soon as I got the news, I went into shock and was convinced I would v.

[sgm]

I get them quite regularly but I'm trying to learn the signs etc. I need to burp a lot which makes me feel uneasy and sick

[xRachyx]

I have the same problem. Having the problem that I feel nauseas more than I feel healthy! Feel like no food will stay down. Im new to this site and the main problem I have is that when I feel sick I just want to be completely alone its the only way I can eventually calm down, always been this way since I was 6 years old (now 22). I finally have a wonderful boyfriend and will be going to stay with him for a week (we are long distance) and I'm so worried I will feel ill while Im there and there will be no escape! Feel like I put everyone who loves me through hell!

[Chibinarwhal]

I worry about it almost every night, however if you're talking about times when you're SO sure that it's gonna happen, then I've got a few:

2 times in June:

1. When I found out that a very dear friend of our family died, I was so n* that I was all fidgety and I remember that I was taking a shower and I stopped in the middle of it and asked myself "is it really going to happen! It can't"... needless to say when I watched some TV while lying down in my bed I started feeling 100% better.

2. I was attending a birthday party at one of the local amusement parks in my area and where I live it was literally 108F degrees and the sun was shinin' real bright. I had still made sure to drink plenty of water and stuff, however it still was not enough and when we finally got inside a building I was so red and feeling pretty n* so for the next few hours I was drinking water like crazy, and I stood in front of one of those little misting fans the whole time. Fun times.... but of course it was all fine in the end.

........... that's actually the only stuff I can remember. My anxiety always gets much worse in the summer. I don't know why.

[TerrifiedGirl]

Wow, this is too familiar to me. I tried reaching out to my mother on several occasions and she tells me I am being stupid, and I don't have a phobia and I'm making this all up. I've had this since I was 5, when I was traumatized and thus developed my phobia, and the fact that she makes fun of me or screams at me when I'm having an episode makes it a lot worse.

A few certain moments (pre-GERD, earlier this year

1. Was in the middle of class, with what I would find out was caffeine poisoning. Had to leave in the middle of a lecture which was embarrassing enough.
2. Right after previously mentioned class, in the bathroom downstairs while I was explaining to my professor my phobia and why I couldn't make the exam
3. Second bought of caffeine poisoning, made myself go to all my classes and felt N* in all of them. I was a straight A college student and forced myself even though I practically wanted to die from fear.


I am also struggling with sudden and extreme GERD. Never had any symptoms before, and I was diagnosed more than a month ago. Medication doesn't seem to be helping. It seems like I have a thousand "could this be it?" moments throughout the day, usually at night. I hate it and I hate my phobia. I haven't felt n* besides alcohol-related nights which I barely remember because I was drunk. Sober episodes are horrible, and I think my boyfriend is getting sick of me. I'm a fresh graduate working a HUGE job that's really important and I keep saying "Is this gonna happen? This isn't gonna happen" over and over again when I don't feel well. Don't know where to go from here...