Minor panic attack because of commitments with other people

[Mama76]

Seems to me that every time I try and schedule something that will affect other people, my kids end up sick with something.

I have been planning on starting a weekly Bible study at my church (and kids' school) on Wednesday mornings, but now that the flyer has gone out I am getting nervous. I know I can do this but the hardest part of parenting for me is making health decisions (except for the obvious, why I am here on this site). Example: I had a sleepover for my boys but my baby didn't sleep all night and I worried she was sick (no signs really just not sleeping is very off behavior for her) and I was up with a major panic attack (hubby slept in boy's bed because I was shaking uncontrollably, boys were camped out in the living room) and I sent the other boys home at 8:00 instead of making breakfast for them because "what if" she is sick and gives them something right before school was starting? She wasn't sick and I sent them home for nothing, but I probably looked a little paranoid to the other parents. I hate looking different to others.

Anyway, I kind of fear that making this commitment will cause them to be sick so I have to cancel the meetings some weeks. Now I really don't believe my kids will be sick because of something I planned, but it happens so often it makes it seem that way. Just had to vent about this.

[punchbuggy]

Hey, sorry it's so hard for you right now. I can reassure you that you are understood here and don't worry about looking different to others. They don't know what you are going through. Let them think what they want.

I just wanted to say that any "what if" thoughts are pure anxiety and the best way to stole them is literally saying stop out loud or in your mind. I learned that in therapy. I hope you can calm down a bit and find some peace. Have you ever tried meditation? It helps me a lot.

[daffodil]

I have the same kinds of thoughts, and for me, they are part of my OCD. Challenging them and carrying on with your plans is the best way to beat them. I know its hard, though.

[Mama76]

Thanks for the support. I know it is a way of thinking that I need to change but it is SO HARD some days, especially when circumstances confirm that bad thought pattern. I will be incredibly upset if Sept. 11 rolls around and I have a sick kid at home. And it is my only real planned time throughout the week that I can be away from kids and with ADULTS! I just take it one commitment at a time, right now nobody is allowed to get anything because we have a wedding to go to Friday, they will be with a sitter, and DH is the best man. So far so good . . .

[bakogirl]

I go through the same issue. Too many times I've planned a birthday party and someone ended up sick or a guest was sick. I don't look forward to anything planned. I get so scared. Hope everything works out good. But I definately know how you feel.