Terrified about everyone bringing their germs back to school on Tuesday.

[JustLacey]

I already feel shitty and I know I won't pass anything on because I know I'm not going to vomit, but everyone has been to far away places and a group of girls in my year went to Dubai and there is a new swine flu thing being passed around there and they're such careless little whores.

I'm in such a terrible mood. I'm upsetting everyone around me because my anxiety levels are too high and I can't do this.

I've already bought tissues, two bottles of hand sanitizer and all my supplies. I really shouldn't be, but I'm falling back into the anorexia trap which I really don't want to do.

I've made my diet coke (the anti emetic properties) and water fast regime with glucose tablets because I'm terrified of throwing up in front of everyone.

In September last year I had to walk out of a Science lesson early on in the year because I heaved and a small amount of vomit came up.

At the end of October I started to play truant. I was terrified of life. I spent seven months in bed. Christmas in bed. New Years Eve in bed. I was cut off from the world. Nobody would break my non vomiting streak and I was pulling myself into a deep depression. I spent my first full week in school since last September in July.

I'm just terrified. I want to go out and buy bottles of water, vegetables, safe foods. Sanitizer. Tissues. A new clean duvet to hide under. I want to seal myself off from the world until June 2014. Either that or I don't want to live anymore.

I need serious help - the cuts get deeper as the thoughts get darker. I need something to get me through.

[Ana Bellini]

Lacey, I've already told you, talk to me if you want. However, I think, like you said, that you need serious help. Not that I'm complaining, but you've been creating so many threads lately when either you're worried or sick. You're 14 - there are so many good things to do instead of hanging around on a forum!

People don't carry germs like that. Normal people aren't filthy, they just don't wash their hands 20 times a day.

I know that episode must have felt bad, but it's time to let it go. Talk to your therapist. Talk to your psychiatrist. DON'T HARM YOURSELF - wounds may get infected and you don't get anything with it.

Eat.

Live, Lacey.

[1986princess]

Are you ok? Hope thinhs are settling a little for you xx

[butterfly91]

Lacey, I've already told you, talk to me if you want. However, I think, like you said, that you need serious help. Not that I'm complaining, but you've been creating so many threads lately when either you're worried or sick. You're 14 - there are so many good things to do instead of hanging around on a forum!

People don't carry germs like that. Normal people aren't filthy, they just don't wash their hands 20 times a day.

I know that episode must have felt bad, but it's time to let it go. Talk to your therapist. Talk to your psychiatrist. DON'T HARM YOURSELF - wounds may get infected and you don't get anything with it.

Eat.

Live, Lacey.

^^ So true

JustLacey u should be out having fun not worrying yourself silly over things, u shouldn't cut yourself from the world because of this stupid phobia..FIGHT it

[staystrongxx]

You can message me on KIK if you need anything. You are a beautiful human being. And you will get through this.