Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
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  1. #1
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    Sep 2013
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    Default New to the Community

    Hello. I found this place via a Google search and I am hoping to connect with members and maybe come up with some ways to help my daughter in her struggles. She has Emetophobia, General Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia and a deficient immune system. She is 14 years old, 5' tall and weighs just over 70 pounds. Which is actually a huge improvement. Nearly a year ago she had contracted a sv (I read around other posts first and saw that you use this abbreviation) and was sick for weeks. She got down to 58 pounds. Had an Endoscopy and Colonoscopy which came back negative. No Celiac, no Crohns, etc. However... since that time, Emet became a part of her life. Fear of getting sick and losing weight again. She won't eat certain foods, wear certain clothes, use certain blankets (if they pertain to her sv time). The only way I've been able to get weight back on her is to monitor her calorie intake each and every day, every meal. She sees a counselor once a week and an adolescent medicine doctor. She takes 5 medications a day to help deal with the depression this creates and obviously, the anxiety. I've got her recently enrolled in a program that works with ED's - and while she doesn't have that specifically, she does have food issues. Worries that everything will make her sick, or is old, or tastes funny. Instant anxiety around sick people. Don't get me wrong, she's come a long way in the last year or so - but I think this will be something we'll be dealing with for a while. And being a hormonal girl does NOT help. Some of her fears have created OCD behaviors as well, so that she can convince herself she is not ill. These OCD behaviors also transfer to me. I have to say the right things, at the right time, in the right order - or I miss up the balance of her chi.

    So... I've probably forgotten some information... but, any advice. I don't want to show her this forum quite yet, as I fear it may be a trigger. She may not be ready. But if you have advice, I'd sure love to hear it and see what I can put to use (that I'm not already doing).

  2. #2
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    Sep 2013
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    Default Re: New to the Community

    By the way - Pay no mind to my screen name. It's a screen name I used 10 years ago and just always stick with it. I'm not actually Devious.

  3. #3

    Default Re: New to the Community

    Hello there,
    My case of emetophobia is slightly milder than your daughter's, but I am around the same age as her and can relate to her situation. My sister got sick from an outbreak of the stomach virus that was going around our city, and as a result, my phobia has just gotten much worse. I started seeing a psychologist yesterday, so hopefully I'll get better soon.
    I think what helps me get through it all is trying my best in assignments/studying for exams. It sounds boring, (and it sometimes is :P) but it gives me something to take my mind off of any worries I get. Keep in mind, that can go either way - When my sister got sick, I was too scared to focus on studying (I'm paying for it now). Another thing that helps it for her to spend some time on her hobbies, and exercise is REALLY helpful. It relieves stress, even though it's hard sometimes to get motivated to exercise. I find that skipping works best, because you don't need to go outside to exercise if you don't feel like it. Yet another thing is slowly exposing her to the little things that trigger her anxiety. E.g., get her to wear similar clothes as the clothes she's afraid of, then when she's ready, she can work up to actually wearing the clothes she's afraid of. But don't actually get her to vomit, as that can be traumatizing and make the phobia worse.

    I should follow my advice more often...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Brazil
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    681

    Default Re: New to the Community

    Hello!

    I'm 15, so I understand what your daughter is going through. First of all, I love answering questions and talking - if your daughter ever needs someone around her age to talk about ordinary things or this fear, I would love to help. My facebook is my name ^^.

    I have GAD, undiagnosticated psychosis, undiagnosticated depression, and emetophobia. Also, food issues are very normal around emets. I only eat two things - french fries and pasta with cheese. I'm trying to change, because eating those things made me gain A LOT of weight this year. So far, 25kg (55 pounds). I want to loose it all, so I'm slowly trying new things. It's working. Since the beggining of this year I tried like, 20 new foods.

    Your daughter is underweight, but you know that. Slowly, offer her new foods. Fruits, first, fresh and washed. My parents used to offer me trips when I did something nice. Like, get good grades at school and we'll give you a laptop. Maybe you could ask your daughter what she'd like to have and make a deal with her. Also, consider taking her to a nutritionist.

    Oooh, I have that too - I don't use clothes or blankets or foods that remember me of my stomach virus episode last year.

    I agree with you - this forum is really trigger, and if she has bad emet, most likely she'll be scared or she'll gain more OCD habits. However, how do you think she would react if you told her that you found a girl around her age with the same problem? Does your daughter have friends? I only ask because I don't, that's why I always offer myself to help others.

    If you mention me to her, tell your daughter that I wish all the best for her, and that it gets better. Don't ever let her think it doesn't.
    Tick tock, time is passing and so is your life. Enjoy it while you can.
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  5. #5
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    Sep 2013
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    Default Re: New to the Community

    Hi Lucky! Thanks for replying My daughter has been seeing a counselor for about 8 months now. We did change counselors mid-way through (I didn't think the first one was helping), and this second one is much better. As far as having her focus on her school work - that is a great idea in theory. The problem is when she doesn't understand the work, her anxiety kicks in that she'll fail or flunk or get teased needing to ask for extra help, or just feel dumb in general - and then with the anxiety comes the physical part and she starts to wonder if she's not feeling well, if she's ill, etc. and the Emet kicks in. It is one vicious little cycle. It DOES help her to spend time on her hobbies (she's an amazing artist), but that can only work for so long before she gets bored. Exercise is your best idea yet and I know that will work for a great distraction. Until she gets tired and wonders what's wrong, or her body temp goes up from exertion and she wonders if she could be ill... etc. And also, I would NEVER actually get her to V. No one wants to do that! Besides, she can't afford to lose the weight.

  6. #6
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    Sep 2013
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    10

    Default Re: New to the Community

    Hello Ana! I do try to offer her new foods regularly. Some she will try (mostly fruits and veggies), but others no way - especially if she can't convince herself that they don't have cream/lactose in them. I don't offer her things like a laptop as a reward. But one thing I did do, was she was really into dirt bikes for a while (still is a bit). So when we would have a good visit at the doctor (we were going in weekly to check weight) and it showed she had gained weight that week - no matter how much, I would take her to the dirt bike store and let her look at stuff and sit on bikes as long as she wanted. She loved it, and it was a great reward for her. She is seeing a nutritionist - that is who she'll be working with at the eating disorder (ED) clinic.

    I will see if the right time to tell her about finding other people with Emet presents itself. She is pretty self-conscious about it, and I don't think her friends even know. She does have friends, but only a few. The few that she does have, she becomes VERY good friends with and everyone else she doesn't really care about.

    I tell her all the time it gets better Each day that she doesn't V is proof that the day before she wasn't ill. It is a work in progress and sometimes very hard to keep her positive - but she works really hard at controlling her anxiety and keeping up with her meals. She is a really good kid and it is hard to watch her have to deal with this.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Brazil
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    Default Re: New to the Community

    Hi! That's good! I know, it was a bad example, but try to find a way to show how proud you are when she eats out or gain a few pounds.

    Sure. My "friends" don't know about it either, but the ones I used to have (I'm far from them now ) knew and supported me even more than I would want by avoiding words around me and situations.

    That's good. I'm glad she has friends. Everyone should have good friends :/

    By the way, you don't have to use "v" as for vomit. Write the word. A few are triggered when they read it but I feel that it's someone's choice to write them or not. I always make sure to write them, because I don't want to be afraid of a word.

    I know. I remember my parents crying when I had a conversive crisis last year (scariest moment of my lfie) and I felt bad because my parents are such wonderful people, they should have had a better daughter than me, with all my problems.

    Make sure to keep us updated about your daughter, and feel free to ask any questions, even though you'll get different answers from some.
    Tick tock, time is passing and so is your life. Enjoy it while you can.
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  8. #8
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    Sep 2013
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    Default Re: New to the Community

    I agree... it is a person's choice to write the word out or not. However, being that I know it causes anxiety for my daughter just to see it or hear it - I don't want to be the cause of that anxiety for someone else. It is definitely more important to make sure a person is eating and maintaining control of their health and anxiety, especially if they are young, rather than forcing themselves to conquer it. For my daughter, I am happy to make accommodations for her now, because I know as she becomes a grown up, some of these things will get taken care of on their own. At this time, whatever I need to do to help keep her calm and enjoying as much of her childhood as possible, is what I do.

    Thanks for your comments I enjoy reading them.

  9. #9
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    Jul 2012
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    Brazil
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    Default Re: New to the Community

    I love threads that have the objective of helping someone, not to feed the fear. I'm pro recovery.

    Also, I want to feel useful somehow. It's not nice to be a fat ugly girl in a school hard enough for me not to be able to understand some of the subjects
    Tick tock, time is passing and so is your life. Enjoy it while you can.
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  10. #10
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    Sep 2013
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    Default Re: New to the Community

    I'm not clear. Do you think saying V instead of spelling it out is helpful, or feeds someone's fear?

  11. #11
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    Jul 2012
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    Brazil
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    Default Re: New to the Community

    It depends. I can't write the word vomit in my mother tongue, even if it's just the letter O in the end that changes. When it's about me, I fear that if I write something down, it's going to happen. When it doesn't, I feel confident to write it over and over. I once tried to write the word "vômito" a hundred times. I only wrote 20 before I gave up, but hey, I wrote the word vomit 20 times!

    For some, by reading the word, they think that they are doomed. I think it's your daughters case.

    Also, I believe that there are many degrees of emetophobia. Some of us only fear vomit itself. Some fear germs and have OCD habits, agoraphobia, etc. Some will starve and flich when they hear the word 'vomit'.

    I love how I'm able to write it. Vômito, vômito, vômito. I'm practing, when I write I still prefer to use terms such as "emptied her stomach" but I think that if I try hard enough, I'll be able to write a graphic scene.

    However, I can't watch people vomiting, not in real life, not on TV. I know that TV vomit is fake, but the sound, the look of it, I just can't, which is a pity because I love investigation tv shows - now I use earphones. When there's a vomit scene, I just take them off and wait until it's over. Sometimes, when it's something that wasn't very well done, I don't even take the earphones off!

    Suggestion? Ask your daughter if she'd rather you not to use trigger words in front of her

    Any questions?
    Tick tock, time is passing and so is your life. Enjoy it while you can.
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  12. #12
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    Sep 2013
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    Default Re: New to the Community

    No questions, and thank you for the clarification I already know my daughter doesn't like to hear or see the words, especially vomit. We are working with her counselor and this specific thing, and it is difficult for her. In her heart of hearts, she KNOWS that seeing or hearing the word won't create the event - but her anxiety won't let her buy into that totally. And she does lean towards OCD and weight loss to avoid the issue. I am very careful about what I say and do to make sure she stays healthy. It is worth it to me, to go the extra step.

 

 

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