Very very long unrelated post/need some advice

[DeadxxInside92]

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[DeadxxInside92]

I realized I literally spent two hours typing this up and it is excruciatingly long. Holy shit. I need a life. But I really can't think about anything else I just hope there is a solution.

[staystrongxx]

Ok, I read the whole thing. I am so so sorry for what you've gone through. You did not deserve any of that. S seems like a total backstabbing, two-faced, abusive, disgusting scumbag. I wish I had a solution for you, I really do. My only suggestion is that you need to get 100% away from S because he is a toxic person. Try to get your passport and various other belongings back from him and then stay away. People like that will NEVER change and NOTHING they do is for the good of anyone else. I am sorry you feel so uncomfortable in your own house, I really can't believe your Mom believes S over you, her own daughter. I'm sorry I don't have more of an answer for you but I just want to let you know that I'm here if you need to talk. You can PM me on Facebook. Stay strong hunny.

[butterfly91]

I'm so sorry, no one deserves to go through that, i don't really know what else to say apart from how sorry i am :/ x

[ashley11]

I read the whole thing and I am so sorry!!! You do not deserve that and S sounds horrible!!! I am sorry about the things your mom said too. You need to stay away from S he is no good! Good luck with everything!

[Valen*]

You def need to get a restraining order, if "S" is the stalking type, which he seems like he is!! I have to be honest, I feel so bad for J. But I have a feeling he would always take u back no matter what, and be there for u..even if he is mad at you for everything. Not saying u need to go back with J..but just saying. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stay AWAY from S. Please. If u talk to him, he will try to apologize over and over again, and try his best to make u feel bad for him and "see his side of things", but don't you dare do it! He is really bad for you. I'm sorry you had to deal with that POS I wanted to cry reading your story. I know how hard it is to get out of a situation like that, so good job for u getting away when u did. It would have gotten worse. S needs help, something is terribly wrong with him. It wasnt your fault he abused you, and it wasnt your fault you stayed...remember that. I really hope you keep your distance from this man for the rest of your life. You are a beautiful young woman, and can do so much better than a*holes, AND drugs! Keep your head up, sweetheart! & use this number if u have to, or want to talk to someone. --> Call 1-888-7HELPLINE

[Cynna]

Dear you prob know what I am gonna say, but I care and will keep saying it even if you do not hear it....

1--lay off the drugs
2--get the f out of the club--happiness is not found on the dance floor
3--lay off men entirely--you need to figure yourself out first
4--are you trying to kill yourself?? seriously
5--get tested for every std under the sun
6--go directly to a therapist--get real evaul and get real meds--I see mood swings with you a lot--until you get your shit together with proper diagnosis and treatment, you will keep repeating the same patterns
7--you did not mention the suicide attempt recently--you need help girl
8--wise up--you are letting yourself get into these situations-you are very reckless--i think this could be part of need evaul and treatment

I want to see you successful and happy. I can see you on that path. Problem is I am afraid you will wind up dead before you can get there. Please get treatment, counseling, and stuff for the abuse you have suffered. He had no right to do that to you. I am glad you got out. Please take this time as a 2nd chance to find your way.

HUGS You know how to find me if you want to talk, vent, cry, or tell me to f off.

[bribriHEARTS]

First of all, no matter what mistakes you made, there is NO WAY you deserved ANY of this. No one deserves that. This guy is absolutely fucking disgusting and awful, it makes me sick. All of his actions are incredibly abusive and manipulative even from early on. What a piece of shit.
Honestly in this situation I'd be looking at a restraining order too. Get the authorities involved. Get your stuff back, change all of your passwords, make sure there's no way you can contact each other again.

I really agree with Cynna on everything. Weed isn't a substitute for medication, and it's actually really dangerous to abuse it like that. It will only help in the moment, and you won't get any relief in the long-term. The same patterns will happen unless you get a professional involved. You need to really focus on yourself too, without all the drama from this asshole.

I'm glad your dad is on your side, it makes me upset that your mom would choose to believe this guy. That's just so fucked up to me. I'm sorry about that and I'm sorry about all of this, I really really hope you piece things back together. I know you can. <3

[XxLOVExX]

I love you honey! And you know i am always here for you! And i am so proud of you lovey!! Hugs

[Grace47]

Wow, I haven't finished reading the whole thing yet, but you need to call the cops. They will believe you no matter what S may have on tape. Get out with your feet before you end up in body bag. I watch lots of crime shows and my cousin was the world's foremost forensic anthropologist before she retired last year. Believe me, that is how this story ends if you don't get out now. Press charges. Tell the cops absolutely everything he's been up to and press charges. Get this a**hole thrown in jail, because that's where he belongs with the rest of the criminal beasts. Let him beat on them if he wants to beat on people.

Even if getting out means calling the Steve Wilkos show, do it. I'm very serious. Leave this guy and put the cops between the two of you. I care about you and I don't want to see any harm come to you. Well, harm is already coming to you, so any more harm.

A women's shelter has a lot more in common with a homeless shelter than a mental hospital. They'll put you in a safe house and no one will know where you are. The police can help you with this. They can put you in contact with people who can help you start a new life. If you have to leave all your stuff behind, leave it. You can get new stuff, but you can't get a new life.

I don't understand your mother, then again, I never have. You need to get away from her too.

I am not going to lecture you on the pot, because you can work on that later. Right now, get the f out. Tonight if you can. Press charges. Put bars and bricks between the two of you. I don't care what you did, no one and I mean no one deserves this. Get out! The women's shelter can help you with getting a job and counseling. There's people who will believe you and help you.

All my thoughts are with you. I'm so very sorry for the situation you are in. Please, please get out now while you still can.

[Miss_Pink24]

I read the whole thing and I am SO sorry that you have had to go through all of that. I too was in an abusive relationship so I can relate and know just how you are feeling and what you must be going through. You need to report S immediately as what he has done/is doing is completely unacceptable and needs to stop. The police WILL believe you, no matter what recordings or things that S says. They are used to dealing with domestic abuse claims and know just what the abusers say and do to try and turn it around on the abusee. I made the mistake of not reporting my first ever boyfriend as I feared that I would not be believed, and have regretted it ever since. He is now a father.

The authorities will be able to help you get all your stuff back and get a restraining order put on him to keep him away from you. May even be able to get him a prison sentance, but he needs to be reported. As for you I really recommend that you contact some kind of counseller or support group that will be able to help you deal with some issues and help with your mental well being. There are even specialist ones out there that deal specifically with victims of domestic abuse, it may help to talk to people that have been through the same things and can relate to what you are feeling.

I can't even comment on your mother as it is despicable that she would not believe you or want to be anywhere near you because of someone she has met twice in her life. You should be able to count on your family no matter what. It is great that your dad believes you and wants to help you. Maybe take him with you to the police as a sort of back up or at least for support. Or take him with you to a counselling session so that you do not have to be alone and he can learn ways that he can help you come out the other side of this. Are you still talking to J? He sounds like a really lovely guy that cares for you immensely.

I am not really sure what else I can say other than that my thoughts are with you and I hope that things sort themselves out really soon. <3

[DeadxxInside92]

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[DeadxxInside92]

all the smilies I wanted to include in my response but couldn't haha

[DeadxxInside92]

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[Miss_Pink24]

I feel sick admitting this, but I miss him. Is this normal given the circumstances? I mean, I did live with him for five months, and because he persuaded me to cut out the majority of people in my life, he was all I really knew I definitely do not want to miss him...at all

Yes, it is completely normal. He was a big part of your life, it is only natural that you would miss him. It is what you do with these feelings that is the difficult part. I am not saying you need to get over those feelings, no way as that takes time, but you do need to make sure that you do not act on them. Like agree to go and meet him or something as you will then be right back to where you started and he will be winning. You need to find ways to distract yourself in order to get over him. Go out there and meet people. Do things. Anything that does not involve him. Are you looking for a job? Working keeps your mind busy and is a great way to meet people. If you are not ready to work you could try doing a bit of volunteer work, as it does the same as working, but takes the pressure off of you a bit, like you do not have to worry about being there if you are not feeling up to it like you do with a real job. And it would be great experience for finding future/further work. You would meet a bunch of nice people there too.

[DeadxxInside92]

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[Grace47]

I had a bad relationship with my narcisistic mother for years, and it is hard to let your abuser go when you love them even if they are no good for you. Now, I never went through all that by a long shot, but I do relate to still loving your abuser. You're missing the person you wanted him to be and maybe the person he was at one time. And one day, you'll realize you loved the dream of him more than the actual him. Because the actual him from my perspective, is a pretty bad guy who wants to hurt someone in a serious way. I am so glad you are out and away from this person. *hugs*

If a hospital is too much, you can always volunteer at the local no kill animal shelter or the public library. I know you love animals and libraries are nice, quiet, peaceful places where nothing more dramatic than a local drunk sleeping one off may happen. I worked in libraries for five years and I loved it. They also always need extra help. I hope you can find peace and learn to love yourself. I'm so glad you are away from the monster. *hugs*

[DeadxxInside92]

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[DeadxxInside92]

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[Grace47]

*hugs* You can do this. I know it's tough to leave someone that's bad for you, but if you go back, it will only get worse. Go jogging, see a movie, stand on your head, do whatever you have to do to distract yourself. You really don't want this guy in your life. Instead of playing the fun moments back in your head, think about being punched repeatedly and being choked. If you have to tape a note to the bathroom mirror to remind yourself what this guy is like, do it. Whatever it takes - get him out of your system. Take up a hobby that requires a lot of concentration like woodworking or welding. If you believe in a diety, then pray for this obessession to be lifted from your heart. You are in my thoughts.

[jkl81]

I read your story, and as a man S is a shame to our gender, and to humanity. We are not a judgemental community, but even by our standards I would say S is a sexual pervert and abuser. Whatever you do, stay the hell away from that guy...if not for your sake for the sake of your dad and J and the other people that truly love you.

[Valen*]

It's natural to miss him. But hang in there..You will get over him, as time passes. You're stronger than u think u are! You will make it thru all this crap

[DeadxxInside92]

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[jkl81]

There is still one facebook account that seems active that has your name associated with it, so I assume it is you, and not a zombie one. Also posts stuff like you would.

[Grace47]

I hope you have changed your password on this account. Even change your name if you need to. I have known other women who have been through this and they had to change all their user names and passwords. they even had to get new email accounts. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope you are okay. my thoughts are with you.