Newbie here.....just would like to know if others struggle with similar issues

[Sheeny987]

I am 30 years old. I never realized there was a "name" for my fear until the first time my now three year old had a sv. I started researching how to clean and how to prevent and came across an emet site. That was about 9 months ago. Since then, my anxiety and fears have gotten progressively worse at a very alarming rate. After hours and hours of thought about this fear, trying to talk myself out of it I realized I was going to need more help than what I could provide to myself. I also realized I have been suffering with emet for almost my entire life. I'm pretty sure my first "fear" about this was when I was in third grade, up until then I don't have any memory of it bothering me. I don't recall any events in my life that triggered this to come, but it is definitely debilitating and I have read many of the threads others have posted and its a relief to know I am not alone. I realize now that I do not have the worst case of this phobia, and I feel for the people who suffer from it more than I do, because it is a daily struggle and I can't imagine it being worse than it is. I have now found myself looking at my son as if he is a ticking time bomb. Like he could fall ill at any moment. I love him dearly and this pains me like nothing I have ever known. I feel like a horrible mother. I just want to rid of this horrible feeling of panic and anxiety so I can enjoy my everyday family life. I sometimes have to get up in the middle of the night and go sleep on the couch because I get panicked he will wake up and be ill. I was hoping for some insight from others on here, to see if they have had the same kinds of feelings towards their children. I also would like feedback about treatment options you all have tried. What worked, what didn't work.....anything that added to the problem rather than help?? I am looking for the right treatment option for myself but I am fearful of making the wrong choice or falling for a program that may or may not be a gimmick (no offense). I definitely can not afford for any treatment to worsen this phobia for me.....I definitely can accomplish that on my own on a daily basis LOL. I am looking into the thrive program, and would really like to hear success stories or opinions on why it wasn't the right option for them. I am hoping out of this forum to make some new friends who can relate with what I deal with on a daily basis (let's face it, most people don't, and that's difficult when you really need support and they can't understand the thought processes behind your fear) and to help others as I hope to overcome this. Its gotten beyond the point of me choosing to try or not...I have to find a solution for this, I fear I may create fear for my son the way I have and I really would rather die than give him an anxiety of this kind. So please, give me some suggestions, and a little hope if possible. I'm all ears. Thank you in advance!!! Shawna

[AIR32]

Hi Shawna!
My fear began around the same time as yours, I was in 2nd grade. I am 23 now and have been dealing with this on and off since I am now 23. I too have a 3 year old daughter who just started school and yes I can honestly say I have felt the same as you have always looking for signs she may be ill. I try my hardest not to let her be affected by it though. This fear has definitely gotten worse since school started it is almost as if I am just waiting for it to happen. I am currently in a cbt type therapy which helps but it takes a lot of mental dedication. I also have the emetophobia recovery system which has given me some very helpful tools to cope. I also visit calmclinic.com which has a lot of non specific anxiety related articles which I feel are a big help. I think a lot of if something is going to work for you has to do with where you are at mentally. I know I have good days where all these tools are a huge help I have made some big strides with the emetophobia recovery system, but then there are those days where it seems that nothing works. It is all about dedication you have to keep pushing regardless if it seems maybe it's not working today. I literally just ordered the thrive book on my kindle so I can't speak on that as of right now. But can definitely keep you posted about it. I am big on the thought that it may be horrible today with the fear but someday it will be gone and everything will be okay This is just a bump in the road. I have also had the fear that my daughter would pick up on it and begin to be afraid also, but whenever I am around her I ALWAYS keep my cool never let her see the nerves. If you can hold it together just in front of your son that is a good thing! If you ever need to talk or anything just send me a message!