Panic Attack at the worse time :(

[norrok]

this sucks :/


its 4AM, i've been lying in bed for the last two hours, and have to go to work in 4 hours.. currently im about 90% sure i have a fever (i dunno, im guessing by my hand to my neck, i dont have a themometer handy [[i should buy one]], im shaking alot and my belly hurts.. for the last 6 days i've had a on going cold, and from yesterday i thought it was finally going away, today (for some, its kind atomorrow earily morning for me :P.. but anyways!) i didnt get much better, i still had the cold and was couching up a fair bit of mucious (spelling, but i hope ya know what i mean) - so at about 1am i head to bed, and have a "mexican flavoured pot noodles before i go to sleep (i had not eaten much today), so then i go into bed and lay there trying ot get to sleep, till about 30 mins ago when i started shakeing, i tryed to shrug it off as being my nerves or im cold, so i shut my window.. but i continued to shake, then my gut started hurting and i did a self temp check and i've figured that if my neck has no temp feeling (not cold or hot) it means that its hot if i used a themometer, thats if i dont have a cold hands (which i highly doubt seeing as they have been under bed covers for two and a half hours).... im not sure what to do :S


i dont wanna go into work tomorrow so bad, but i know my boss must not be getting to happy with me calling in sick (this is about the 3rd time since i started my saturday job in hmm... 3 or5 months by now.. and this would be the second time in5 weeks.. on top of that, although i can pay my parents the rent i owe them from the missing day of work, they wont be pleased, and they really dont understand my emet, and think its all made up most of the time, and mainly when it happens on fridays because they think im trying to get out of work....


see.. what i wish i could do was get to sleep, wake up in 4 hours and be fine.. but this panic attack is going to run for a two hours or so im guessing, and getting worse over time, i've goen to work once with only two hours sleep, and well.. i was dead tired, and was not able to function very well with the customers (kinda my job to do well with the customers >.&gt... on top of that, when im tired (2 hours sleep = tired :P), i feel ill easier due to anxyia's going sky high and my nerves shot, so its noramly very difficult to work like that.. and i ended up going home earily on that day..


Sooo.. if i call in sick tomorrow (my boss knows about my emet), and promise ill bring them a explainiation of my phobia on paper (ill use saga's one if thats oki) on monday, maybe they will understand (they are normaly very understanding, but it kinda worrys me how they are oki with it half the time..then have my mom start yelling at me that i didnt go into work, and how im going to loose my job ect... then most likely walk to the closest ATM (about 5 mins away :P) to get her money.. then have her yell at me a bit more, have my internet removed, nooooo but at least i wont have to feel like im going to v" all day tomorrow at work, and maybe ill rest easy with this plan in mind..


i just pray this is just a panic attack, and not me about to v" - normaly very time before i v" i start shakeing and my gut feels bloated with a sour feeling as it does, and.. also a dry throat (like i have ;s) .. im just really worried that due to my cold lasting this long, it was leading up to v"ing like it can do in some colds.. i hate this so much.. i hate it when i have panic attacks the day before work.. i hate it when i have panic attacks the day before something important.. jesus.. this phobia has screwed me up so much in so many things.. i just wish i could find a way to cope with it easier, im so tempted to call up my doc on monday and explain to him how badly this phobia is effecting me, and as much as he says i do not need meds - i really do need something that helps me with my anyxtys..


Thank you for reading, your comments are most welcome and have a good weekend <edited><editID>norrok</editID><edit

[bexcelica]

hey. see that worries me too because ive had a cold for a week and im panicking right now too. i wish i could help you but i really cant. all i can say is try to get some sleep

[angel13]

Sorry to hear, norrok! Maybe you are keeping yourself awake with worry. By the time you get this, it'll already be the next day, probably, but if you ever can't sleep, get up and go for a walk, just out into your garden, if you can.


Don't stress too much about losing sleep, your tiredness will eventually overpower your emetophobia It doesn't sound like you've eaten anything weird (pot noodles are fine! I swear by them! =D), so I think you've just worried yourself into this state. You probably feel worse than you would ina normal panic attack because you still have a cold...but really, colds are nothing to worry about


So stop worrying about why you can't sleep, or whats going to happen i the morning, just concentrate ona peaceful image, and control your breathing.


*hugs* Sleep will come, eventually!

[ontariogirl]

How are you feeling now? I agree with angel13, maybe you are worrying yourself up to this state. Try to get some sleep. I think you will be fine. I have had a cold for a week now and the best thing to do is drink O.J and get plently of rest.

[norrok]

feeling better this afternoon , i ended up not going towork due to one hours sleep, but work and folks understood shocking enough - i still got the cold, which turns the gut from time to time, but ill live


thank you for the comments, idea's and help

[SimplyMe]

Sorry this is late. Glad you're feeling better and that your work was understanding. I think not going in was a good thing for you, w/ a cold (or any sickness) you need rest and it doesn't sound like you've been getting it. I hope your cold goes a way soon, I know they make you feel a bit off sometimes.

[norrok]

Np on the late post simplyme, and yea - rest when ya sick &gt; all, just interesting that a cold can hold on so long.. i bet its due to smokeing :[