IES: Helpful or hindering?

[AnxiousCanuck]

Hey all,

I've been seeing a few comments lately of people choosing to delete their accounts and vow to never return to this site. I just wanted to weigh in on this and see how others may feel about it.

Personally, there are times I wish I never found this site, and there are times I couldn't be more grateful for it. However, as of late, I tend to be leaning toward hating its existence. I spend much of my day on my laptop just using Facebook, shopping online, YouTube, and of course, IES. I have many days where my anxiety levels are really low, where I find myself not thinking about v* or Norovirus and ultimately having a good day. These are days where I don't get any Google News Alerts about Norovirus and no one on my Facebook is going on about themselves or their kids being sick. These are the days I look forward to and cherish. But then, I get an e-mail telling me that someone has replied to a thread I am following, I click the link and end up reading each and every new thread. Threads about these new unknown viruses that are causing people to v*, threads about news stories, ill family members, local outbreaks, etc. And within seconds, my wonderful anxiety free day has turned into a shit storm and I am forced to dope myself up with Gravol, Zofran, and a few other of my anti-anxiety medications. I end up in the worst anxious state imaginable and normally am unable to get even a wink of sleep.

But then, on a particular bad day when I am desperate for some kind of support or reassurance, I can always count on the members here to be there for me. Even reading the support given to someone else often helps me to rationalize my thoughts and in turn calm me down.

I am curious how IES effects everyone else? For me, it is very much a love/hate relationship. I can't seem to prevent myself from logging in day after day, because while I know there is a chance of it causing me incredible anxiety and stress, I also fear not knowing what may be happening around me. It is almost like I fear that if I am not aware of the things everyone posts, that I may end up letting my guard down and end up getting ill, but on the other hand, reading some of these threads makes me feel like the guard I have up is never enough.

So, yeah, I'd love to hear some other input about this. Am I alone in feeling this way?

[Syrup]

I also have a love/hate relationship with this site.

Before coming here I wasn't aware of how Noro. was spread, so the information was helpful and gave me hope. But since coming here I went through a really, really bad period of forcing my kids to scrub their hands whenever they touched ANYTHING out and about. It was insane. I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't been reading other's post insuring that 'if you don't touch anything, etc.', so I imposed that on the two of them. Therapy and medication have been a big help to me, and I know that it was me allowing myself to be that way, not something that reading posts here could have forced me to feel.

At the same time, when I've been anxious and feel that nobody understands, I've come here knowing that you all know FULL WELL how I feel and can 'carry me through it'. I appreciate all of you and would miss you if I were to leave.

I'm trying to limit my time here, but do like to offer help and hope to others as I know how terrible it is to feel so low and to just want someone to say that it's going to be ok.

[Elski]

I wouldn't say love/hate but sometimes I find it a comfort (most of the time, actually) and sometimes a trigger. I guess that's to be expected considering what the site is and the people who use it. I find it really useful to get tips and coping strategies from the other mums on here and know I'll get support from people who know what I'm going through. My partner/family/friends are great and really understanding BUT they just don't get it and I wouldn't really expect them to.

On the whole I like it and the people who frequent it, so I'd say on the whole it's helpful with the occasional hindrance.

[MaybeBaby]

I feel like it's helpful. Definitely triggers me a little. And gives me nightmares. But as a somewhat recovering emet I feel like I can add some reassurance to people who are in deep. I personally go out to eat, ride public transportation, any other things that some people can't do due to severe anxiety besides going on a cruise. Not just for the noro but I get really motion sick so that's just 2 horrible things in one. As a child/teenager I bit my nails, touched things with my bare hands and didn't wash my hands before putting them in my mouth... and I didn't catch noro... I didn't catch noro between the ages 8-20, I feel like I only caught it because I used a bathroom of someone who had it very mild and I was a few weeks pregnant so my immune system was more sensitive.

[AnxiousCanuck]

Thank you everyone for your input. I am happy to know that I am not alone on my mixed feelings.

Syrup, I am with you! One of the main reasons I continue to return here is because I love to be able to offer information, advice, or reassurance to those who need it. I find it to actually be therapeutic in my own recovery when I am able to rationalize someone elses concerns and reassure them. I am often reassuring someone who is struggling with something I personally struggle with, so by giving them advice, it allows me to remind myself of rational things I cannot remember during an episode.

I guess I am to the point now where I have to try and determine if I am getting more help than triggers by coming here. Sadly, as of late, it has been full of triggers, but I am trying to tell myself that is only because it is the start of "that season", and that the triggering threads will end soon.

[sdd]

Put me down for a love/hate relationship too. Some days I am glad for it. Some days I wish I'd never found it. I know far too much about norovirus and how long germs can live, what can kill them and what can't. They say ignorance is bliss and back when I was ignorant on these issues I was far happier. However, when it comes down to it and one of my kiddos gets the bug and inside I am scared and upset, I know that my friends here will be there to support me.

[mamacat]

I love this site when I am in crisis especially, because there are so many people here who understand and can help talk me through it when I am freaking out. However, when I read threads about week-long viruses, or people catching noro and they have no idea how or why, and so on--that's sends my anxiety up. When I first joined last winter, this place was a huge source of comfort for me, but sometimes if I am getting anxious for no reason I find that I just need to stay away for a while.

I do love to read the uplifting threads though, where people post about how they survived sv, or how it was in their house and they coped with it, or about people moving outside their comfort zone (eating out, attending social events, etc) and everything being ok. I wish there were more of those threads!

[Ashleen]

I also have a love/hate relationship with this site.

Before coming here I wasn't aware of how Noro. was spread, so the information was helpful and gave me hope. But since coming here I went through a really, really bad period of forcing my kids to scrub their hands whenever they touched ANYTHING out and about. It was insane. I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't been reading other's post insuring that 'if you don't touch anything, etc.', so I imposed that on the two of them. Therapy and medication have been a big help to me, and I know that it was me allowing myself to be that way, not something that reading posts here could have forced me to feel.

At the same time, when I've been anxious and feel that nobody understands, I've come here knowing that you all know FULL WELL how I feel and can 'carry me through it'. I appreciate all of you and would miss you if I were to leave.

I'm trying to limit my time here, but do like to offer help and hope to others as I know how terrible it is to feel so low and to just want someone to say that it's going to be ok.

This is how I feel, and I did the same with my kids with the hand washing. Actually I am still since my daughter started kindergarten. I am happy to have learned so much about how noro is spread and lives because I feel it gives me more control... But I am also am unhappy because it drives me crazy at the same time. I really love this site for when I am panicking really bad because no one else but the people here understand me and won't judge me....but I can't come on here much in between because I get freaked out and obsessive. I am also not great at offering advice and helping because sometimes I feel like, yup they're screwed... and really reading those posts is very hard and triggering for me. I don't think I could ever say I wish I never found it though because it makes me feel soo much better that there are others like me... Even some of my crazier tendencies I find posts about and it makes me feel less crazy and alone.

So yeah in conclusion definitely a love/hate thing.

[KaydeeJayde]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that most of the time it's a hate relationship with me. I hate this place and I hate that I feel like I need to come back to keep my anxiety in check. Most of the time I wish it didn't exist.

That said, I've met some amazing people on here so that's one good thing. I wouldn't have my best friend if it weren't for IES, and I have some fantastic online friends on Facebook because of it, so I love it for that reason.

[Grace47]

I mostly like it. I have learned to avoid the triggering threads. Mostly, I feel sad for the constantly panicking. I've made a lot of good friends here which is a huge bonus. I hope I've been able to help others as much as I've been helped.

[jptk]

Being honest, I don't think I have benefitted from this forum. I could go as far as saying that it has only prolonged and fed my anxiety and made me far worse than I would have been without it. Sure, when you initially find it, it's great knowing that you are not on your own and others can relate but that benefit is short lived, in my case anyway. Knowing that it is here makes it difficult to leave, it's like seeing a norovirus outbreak headline, you don't want to read it, but you can't help yourself.

[rexymeteorite]

Yup, IES can be extremely triggering for me. It has both helped and hindered my emet in the past. On the one hand, it helps me because its extremely nice to know that I am not just insane. Its easy to feel that way when you are nauseous and pacing around, in tears, flapping your hands like a madman trying everything in your power to suppress the vomit. It seems like no one in my life understands this, so it definitely helped me overcome that quintessential feeling of "crazy" every time it happens.

On the other, IES hinders big time. First of all, sometimes it can set off a sympathetic panic attack, especially if you happen to wade into the help&support forum at the wrong time. I have been perfectly fine before, come on IES and had a panic attack out of the blue after reading a thread. It happens. I try to avoid the panic posts like the plague. Secondly, I think that us emets can play into each others fears and reinforce the phobia by approving of some tactics of extreme avoidance. For instance, members telling other members to go to a hotel room if one of their family members or roomies are sick. That just encourages giving in to the phobia, imo, thus reinforcing it and ensuring it becomes more and more entrenched into our psyche. Hell, even telling another member that they will be fine could have the effect of reinforcing the phobia, especially since none of us can make the determination that anyone will definitely not vomit. Any one of us could vomit at any time, its a simple fact of being a human being. Who are any of us to tell another person that they absolutely will not vomit? And I am including myself in this, I have told people this before as well. I really don't like the idea of reinforcing someone's phobia.

I dunno, its a mixed bag. But for some reason I just keep coming back for more, like you....Don't ask me why, honestly that fact is just as mysterious as the phobia itself. I'd assume because in my darkest days with this bullshit phobia, this place helped me so much. Or did it hinder me and create even more panic and at the time I just didn't realize it? I dunno, I can't really tell any more.

[Cynna]

Have you helped or hindered others AC?

[jptk]

Have you helped or hindered others AC?

Trying to kick off another drama eh?

[KaydeeJayde]

I kind of think it was a valid question. Yes, a bit dramatic but an interesting one.

[jptk]

I kind of think it was a valid question. Yes, a bit dramatic but an interesting one.

In the nicest way possible, if it was someone else who asked the question, would you still think it was valid?
Considering the recent drama, it comes across more like trying to start something off. I'd say most people here have both helped and hindered others at some stage. Simply posting about a stomach virus can hinder someone and at the same time help another.

[Cynna]

Well Jptk, you kinda got this going. Mine was a simple question to the OP who I figured would read it or ignore and move on. Sometimes I just speak my mind. As far as the reasons why I asked my question, well ....... Was I looking to start an argument? Answer is no.

[staystrongxx]

Trying to kick off another drama eh?

Honestly I don't think Cynna would ever try to purposefully start drama. It was a valid question.

[jptk]

Well Jptk, you kinda got this going. Mine was a simple question to the OP who I figured would read it or ignore and move on. Sometimes I just speak my mind. As far as the reasons why I asked my question, well ....... Was I looking to start an argument? Answer is no.

haha, yeah ok turn it around on me if you wish. Funnily enough, I actually knew you would too!

[Cynna]

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

[jptk]

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

Hmm...dunno, never spoke to a fox before

[staystrongxx]

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

Ka ding ding ding da ding da ding?

[Cynna]

JPTK It is a song, bring it up on Youtube. Silly and fun song. Lightens the mood and diffuses any drama.

[bribriHEARTS]

Personally I think it's a mix of both! And deciding if it's more helpful or harmful is up to the individual person. Depending on what stage you're at in your anxiety and who you talk to, it can be one of the other.
For me, I think it's GENERALLY more helpful then harmful. On one hand I've learned some things that I hadn't known before, and I worry about them now when I never used to. You pick up new things to panic about from other people. But on the other hand, I've also met some very lovely and amazing people here that I feel so lucky to have in my life. When I need somewhere to just rant, this is the place, because people understand. Coming here I learned that I was not crazy and not alone. Finding out that this was a real phobia with a real name inspired me to go to therapy and try to fix it. I'm not completely better yet, but I have come a long way.

[jptk]

JPTK It is a song, bring it up on Youtube. Silly and fun song. Lightens the mood and diffuses any drama.

Ah, I see. Ill take your word for it. No drama from me, don't want to start anything, I guess I just misunderstood your post. My apologize.

[Valen*]

BOTH. Mostly I have gotten negative effects from this site Not b/c of triggers or people. It has just become another annoying habit for me to come on and check it out everyday.
On the other hand, I love helping anyone I can on here! AND I have made alot of friends from this place also

[KaydeeJayde]

In the nicest way possible, if it was someone else who asked the question, would you still think it was valid?
Considering the recent drama, it comes across more like trying to start something off. I'd say most people here have both helped and hindered others at some stage. Simply posting about a stomach virus can hinder someone and at the same time help another.

As in if it were anyone other than Cynna asking? Yes, I'd still think it was a valid question. As for if the question were being asked of anyone else, less valid.

not trying to turn it back on you, and I do know it was a potentially drama inducing question...

[jptk]

As in if it were anyone other than Cynna asking? Yes, I'd still think it was a valid question. As for if the question were being asked of anyone else, less valid.

not trying to turn it back on you, and I do know it was a potentially drama inducing question...

No it's ok, I think I just misunderstood what was being said. It's my bad.

[rexymeteorite]

just gonna advise that it is probably not wise to drag drama from thread to thread. Not pointing to anyone in particular, but the drama is over, AnxiousCanuck seems at least sincere, we should try to answer their question without dragging in past histories. Just imo.

[jptk]

just gonna advise that it is probably not wise to drag drama from thread to thread. Not pointing to anyone in particular, but the drama is over, AnxiousCanuck seems at least sincere, we should try to answer their question without dragging in past histories. Just imo.

Exactly...