I can't believe what I just did.

My grandson's school called to ask if i could pick him up from school because he is running a low grade fever and has an upset stomach. They could not get in touch with my son or his wife.

I said no. I lied and said no I cannot pick him up. I did not offer any explanation. I panicked to think that he might get sick in my car or at my house.I became terrified. I put my own feelings and welfare before that of my grandson's.

That is what this phobia has done all my life. I would even do things like that when my own children were young. It paralyzes me. Sometimes I think I am over it, but then a situation presents itself, and I know it still haunts me and controls me.

I have had this phobia for over 50 years. I did not know it was a problem anyone else had until about 1 1/2 yr. ago when I found this site.

I encourage all of you to get help for this NOW while you are young and still have great futures ahead of you. It will be so important as your lives move forward. It absolutely ruins lives and relationships. I can't tell you how disgusted I am at myself. I don't know how I am going to face my son and have to admit that I could not take care of his son. What a pathetic excuse for a grandmother.

I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO RESPOND AND SAY THEY SYMPATHIZE WITH ME OR SAY THEY UNDERSTAND. I KNOW ALL THAT AND THAT IS NOT THE REASON FOR THIS POST.

I just want you all to see what can happen if it lingers and is not shut down. Get some help for this phobia now.