gallbladder ultrasound

[lizard79]

tomorrow morning i go in for my ultrasound on my gallbladder. i am so scared that i WON'T have gallstones. i can't stop thinking about that. what will they do if i don't? i think i probably do, but i can't stand the thought of having other tests to figure out what is wrong with me. i don't have the money for this.


i am also terrified of the idea of the surgery, even though i wish for it... since that might make me feel so much better.


i am so tired of feeling sick all the time. i really do think that my phobia will be tons better after i get this problem resolved. i mean, now i know what it feels like when you get sick. and i also know that i shouldn't feel like that often. but since i've been feeling so bad all year it has made me more insane.


of course, i'll be terrified after i have the surgery (if that happens) to eat foods that triggered attacks before.. but i guess i'll cross that bridge when i get to it.


why do i have to get digestive problems? why not something else? why can't my arm fall off instead? i would almost rather just not be alive than to feel like iv'e been feeling for so many months. it is miserable. i hate it. i hate how it makes me not able to be free and do what i want.


ugh. just make it go away!

[x hannah x]

I'm sorry you're feeling bad elizabeth, but maybe having gallstones is worth it if it will help you with your phobia.

[siafi]

[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]That's no fun at all. I hate medical situations like that! I hope you are okay and everything goes just fine!!!

[SimplyMe]

Aww, good luck tomorrow! I'm sorry your'e feeling so scared, I would be too. Let us know how it goes! Hopefully it will be simple and you wont' have to have surgery! Good luck! (I will keep you in my prayers)

[lizard79]

so i found out that i don't have gallstones. so now what? i am going to try to go to the doctor on monday and see what's next. i am so amazingly terrified. i cant live like this, with the constant fear of not knowing exactly what is going tomake me feel like i'm going to V for real.


and to top it all off, i seem to have a mild gastroenteritis at the moment. i called about that last night and the on call doc prescribed me some antibiotics. but there's a whole long complicated story about that.. but hopefully i can start taking them soon. i really don't want to, save for the fact that in the case that my infection is bacterial, it will go away.


i am terrified now. and depressed.


i really need to go see a therapist again. i'm crying all the time over all of this and can't do much of anything. but my insurance doesn't' cover mental health, so i can't go. i am going to ask my doctor if there is somewhere i could go for free, but i don't know if that even exists here.





so terrified and sad and scared. what is wrong with me? how horrible are all the tests going to be (that i can't even afford)? and most immediately, am i going to get sick from this infection or whatever it is now that i have??????


i don't want to live if this is how it is going to be.

[x hannah x]

I hope you feel better Elizabeth!

[wetjeans]

Hi, Elizabeth! I feel for ya. I can remember when I was terrified about all this. I had alot of test run on me, all but 2....t[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]he one where they stick that thing down your throat, and the one where they shoot the dye in ya from the "rearend" up while watching in reverse where everything goes. I remember many of times hoping the end of time was near. I wish I could just reach out and then *bam*, you can never barf from this point on. I know you cant just quit thinking of it either. I dont know your entire situation, try and see if you can get on an antidepressiant called Effexor, and/or Busphar. Read some of my past posts and you will see what I was like. I know this wasnt much help , but the main thing is there is someone here to talk to.

[SimplyMe]

Aww, i wish I knew what to say exactly. It's terrible that w/o insurance coverage its impossible to get help when you need it! Hopefully there is a free place near you or at least one that will work w/ you on a sliding payscale. I dont' know about gastro testing and all but I do know I would be scared too and I know what you mean about crying all the time I was like that for a couple months w/ my teeth probolems which nowhere near touch what you must be feeling. If you ever need to tlak PLEASE dont' hesitate to IM/email me! I hope you feel better and get tot he bottom of all this soon. Maybe it is something silly and obvious and nonevasive.

[jlockyer]

Hi Elizabeth


Hope you're feeling a bit better. I went through a load of tests too when I was about 18 as I kept getting really bad stomach aches and they had no idea why. In the end the barium meal x-ray showed nothing wrong with my stomach or colon and so they put it all down to stress. I remember thinking like you that I really wanted them to find something (although obviously not anything serious) that they could fix. I guess being anxious all the time can really have a physical effect on our bodies. Typical for me who is terrified of anything to do with my stomach that that is where all the stress seems to manifest itself with stomach pains. Having the tests, though unpleasant, at least finally gave me some comfort that there wasn't something really wrong with me.


Take care...