broken heart :( Just after some caring words

[emmalinda]

Me and my boyfriend were having problems and we broke up for a little bit. Then I had to contact him to get some things and when I did he said he missed me and was calling me babe and wanted to meet up. I wanted to talk things out and he was so kind and said some very sweet things to me and it touched my heart. He was drunk though and I said he didn't mean it cause he was drunk but he assured me he would of said them if he wasn't. I was happy cause I knew were getting back on track and we went to my place and we slept together, I was happy. The next morning he tells me we're just friends. I became confused so then he said we're on a break. Hes going away for 2 weeks to see his mates for new years and he said he cant hook up or get with anyone cause we're still working things out. So I take him back to his car and he turns to kiss me when he leaves im thinking ok we're on a break sorting out stuff. My friend informed me of some photos on facebook I should see and he is skinny dipping with some girl and she has her arms around him. I called him immidiatley and hes said no I said we're just friends but Im not out hooking up im just at a party having fun and we all decided to go swimming. I feel so used and stupid im so upset over this and he is absolutely fine, moved on partying with his friends. I need some kind words right now I've had a horrible Christmas break.Sorry this was so long

[Grace47]

*hugs* That was a really crapy thing for him to do. That has happened to me when I was younger, too.

[Cynna]

HUGS. Time for ice cream and a good movie.

[Babydoll]

He may miss you but he sounds like he's liking his freedom more. People show you how they feel with their actions more so than with their words. Looks like he's really not ready to commit. I'd talk to him when he comes back and see what he says, but if I were you, I would drop him like a hot potato. What's that saying? "Never make someone your priority when they make you their option" or something along the lines of that. If someone told me they weren't sure what they wanted,and then went out and played around.... I'd make it easy for them and show them the door. You deserve better than that.

[emmalinda]

thank you guys. x

[ruhligv]

Unfortunately, I totally agree with Babydoll. I'm so sorry hunny I know how bad it hurts. Don't allow him to help himself to you anymore, you deserve better. It might not seem like it at the moment, but there's a man out there who will treat you like gold, cherish you, and never want to do anything that would even make you question his motives. Stick it out for him.

[Kinetic]

Yeah, babydoll summed it up. You will start to realise that he is not worth your time or energy. Get some space, spend plenty of time with family and friends and get out there and meet new people

[Dairyfreelife]

Agree with others, looks like he's moving on and it is time you did too. I know how much it hurt, I do. I've had a similar experience, and it's painful. Agree with Cynna, ice cream and movie. Even better, call up some girlfriends and you can all hang out and eat a tub of ice cream and watch a movie while venting what an asshole he is.

[emmalinda]

its so hurtful that he would move on so quickly after we broke up. But at the same time I cant help but miss him and still feel jealous about what he might get up to. I am going out with a coupe friends for new years and maybe they will make me feel better. He owes me money as well and I don't know if I should let it go. Also I rented movies and he didn't take back all of them after I asked several times, now theyre 20 days overdue and I don't now if I should ask for some of the late fee

[jptk]

its so hurtful that he would move on so quickly after we broke up. But at the same time I cant help but miss him and still feel jealous about what he might get up to. I am going out with a coupe friends for new years and maybe they will make me feel better. He owes me money as well and I don't know if I should let it go. Also I rented movies and he didn't take back all of them after I asked several times, now theyre 20 days overdue and I don't now if I should ask for some of the late fee

Hey, very sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. If it's any consolation, which it probably isn't..., I think we all go through something like this at some stage in our lives. Overcoming it will make you stronger in the end.
Normally what I have suggested to friends or relatives who go through this is to cut all contact. Unfriend him on Facebook and the rest, delete his phone number, put away any pictures you have etc. It's too easy to get caught up in hope but the reality is moving on is your best option. If he owes you money I would say you have a right to ask for it and he should also pay the entire late fee for the movies if he said he would bring them back but didn't. How much money are we talking about overall, including the late fees? If it isn't much and you don't feel you can talk to him yet them maybe cut your loses, pay the fees and cut him out of your life.

[emmalinda]

Its about $250. The thing is I spent hundreds on his Christmas present and we ended it Christmas eve, I still gave him the present and we worked things out a bit. so ive invested so much money in the relationship and I feel so stupid so I really do need that money. He still really wants to be friends do you think its possible to be friends with an ex?

[jptk]

Its about $250. The thing is I spent hundreds on his Christmas present and we ended it Christmas eve, I still gave him the present and we worked things out a bit. so ive invested so much money in the relationship and I feel so stupid so I really do need that money. He still really wants to be friends do you think its possible to be friends with an ex?

To be honest... no. Maybe in the future when you have both moved on with your lives fully. You can't really be friends with someone you have feelings for. If the day comes where you are happy to see him in another relationship, then yes, you could be friends. I would say it's far too soon to even consider having him as a friend in your life. I'd say contact him to get your money, but cut contact after that. This is just my opinion, others might see it differently.

[Dairyfreelife]

agree with jptk, it really is not possible to stay friends when one of you still has feelings for the other and I discovered that the hard way. I think you should only contact him for the money and then let all contact with him cease. It is so hard to see an ex you loved and cared about just be able to move on so fast, believe me, I really do know. Many of us here have experienced similar heart break. It hits you right in the gut. It's gonna take a little time, but you will move on. That cliche saying of time heals all wounds, it really is true.

[emmalinda]

thankyou so much its nice to know im not alone. I spent some time with freidns and they made me feel better and now I feel like the biggest idiot having gone out with him and put up with him and take him back all the time. ugh, im just disgusted in myself :/ I really appreciate the advice

[Kinetic]

I would definitely ask him for the money. $250 is not THAT much, but for a young person like me that is quite a bit of money. Be polite but assertive about it.

And as for the friends part, don't go there just yet. It won't make you feel any better in fact it will prevent you from moving on. You need to at least allow yourself enough time to be able to be content with him being in a relationship with another person and not feel jealous or insecure. Once you can do that, and be happy yourself, then I guess friendship may be on the cards. Even so, who knows how long this may take. By then you probably won't care and have moved on.

[Miamtea]

Girl, remove that guy from your life immediately! I was with a guy like that before and I was so hung up on him, I've since met someone new and the other guy keeps coming back trying to talk to me, you wouldnt believe the feeling of satisfaction brushing him off and letting him know you dont care, harsh but hey, he was harsh to you! Forget about him, he sounds like a loser and you deserve better

[Mamafear]

What Miamtea said. I was in exactly the same situation and it just feels so good to fall for the right guy and very satisfying to see Mr Wrong come sniffing back around only to see you've moved on. Hang in there sweetie, time really does heal!. X

[ewilkins]

Coming from a guy, this guy is enjoying having his cake and eating it too. He more than likely knows that you'll be ready to run if and when he calls however, like someone else said, he's enjoying his freedom too much and not wanting to commit. Throw this guy to this side. There are plenty more guys out there who ARE willing to commit and will not treat you this way. Whatever you do, don't sleep with him again and in fact, don't even answer the phone when he calls. Trust me...he isn't worth your time.