at my breaking point! can't stop crying!!!! helpppp please

[Naeemahria91]

ok so i'm posting like a gazillion times on here but it's just getting worse. ok so two weeks ago i started with a tickly throat which went to sore throat and then to coughing my lungs out. on xmas eve i was so n* all night, but never v* (thank god!). the n* went away for a bit and as of yesterday the n* came back. i was at work feeling miserable and it felt like stomach cramps? of course, i start flipping and leave work early. i live like 35 min away from work and the roads were really bad today. so before i left work i made sure that i felt calm enough to drive and i did. 10 min away from home on the highway the n* picks up and suddenly i know i'm about to v*, and this sends absolute paralyzing terror through me!! i thought that if it had to happen i may be mentally ready but i wasn't; i had lost all control of my body it seemed. so first instinct is to pull over and the only place i could was on the left shoulder. well since i was in mid panic i went past the shoulder and into a small ditch on the side of the road. i called my bf in a full blown panic and luckily he calmed me down. i have had many panic attacks throughout my life, but not as badly as this one. i couldn't feel my hands or my legs and my face felt like it was on fire. i never v*, but i ended up getting my car stuck in the ditch because of the snow (for the second time this week). and of course after an hour of waiting, i get notified that there is a tow ban today because of the weather being so bad.
i took a shower and i'm finally home. but i feel horrible! i feel like i'm hungry but full, my stomach is gurgly and feels like cramps. i'm so scared and i just want to disappear. i don't want to v* or be sick with this stupid cold anymore. i feel like everything is hopeless and i'm alone. i hate how much this controls my life!!!!! i want it to be over. i really hope it's not sv*! i can't take it. i keep thinking i'm not ready to deal with this.
and now i'm rambling...i just want comfort and to not be scared.
thanks for reading.

[andee]

Awww, hope you are feeling better! That's really scary, from the panic all the way to driving in the ditch. I hope your bf is very understanding and was able to help you. I really think you just panicked and was nauseous from the anxiety. Sometimes you will feel nauseous from the cold, post nasal drip, coughing, etc. but won't v from it. Try taking a hot steamy bath...let yourself relax for a while, then have a hot cup of tea or soup broth or something that relaxes you. Chamomile tea is a relaxer and helps with digestion as well. Hang in there. Anxiety is an awful b#$&@...